


The Sweet Surrender of Silence

by Draconly



Series: The Surrender Series [1]
Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - Police, Blood and Gore, F/F, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gun Violence, Happy Lappy, Horror, Humor, Kidnapping, Murder, Murder Mystery, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Slow Burn, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-03
Updated: 2020-05-07
Packaged: 2021-02-25 22:34:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 20
Words: 54,111
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21653089
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Draconly/pseuds/Draconly
Summary: Agent O. Peridot Foster thinks she has seen everything her job has to offer her. Officer Kawai "Lapis" Lazuli wishes her job would have a bit more excitement in it. Both of them find out how horribly wrong they are when they investigate a murder together.----------Commissioned book cover by the amazing Dement09:https://twitter.com/destortion/status/1220344090581241858Chapter 4 art from Ceru:https://64.media.tumblr.com/0224114fa1f70d39ac00ba042574f063/ddb2e60f8727e155-c2/s1280x1920/63bb41dd8eec6859cf3166c0927f4063df29ab9c.jpgChapter 2 art from Ceru:https://cerussitel.tumblr.com/post/633642643402981376/illustration-to-go-with-chapter-2-of-draconlysGift from an amazing fan:https://youtu.be/omKB3dHAfMkGift from ParanoidRobonoid:https://sta.sh/2plj5xavkqb
Relationships: Lapis Lazuli/Peridot (Steven Universe)
Series: The Surrender Series [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1725487
Comments: 226
Kudos: 317





	1. Monday

[ ](https://www.flickr.com/photos/185443884@N02/49432234141/in/dateposted-public/)

Agent O. Peridot Foster hated Mondays, more than most other human beings do. Psychologically speaking, most everyone’s disdain for Mondays stemmed from the same reasons; the first of which being our own ‘body clocks’. Humans are slaves to their natural sleep cycles. Simple changes, such as staying up an hour later than usual, can, and do, completely disrupt the waking cycles set in stone. Sleeping in on weekends can confuse our body clocks, making it more difficult to wake on Mondays. Sleep... wasn’t a companion Agent Foster knew too well, and its visits, often fleeting.

The second reason the human race tends to loathe Mondays is the social aspect accompanying it. This hails back to the little caveman brain in all of us. Humans are social animals, animals who need a tribe, so to speak, to make us feel comfortable and secure. Most don’t associate work with “comfort”, or “security” which makes returning there come Monday all the more difficult. Agent Foster thought herself above such primitive motions; she didn’t need to socialize to feel safe and secure. She had abandoned those emotions, they didn’t serve a purpose.

The last reason that people dislike the first of the weekdays really depends on how the individual spends the weekend. The average American citizen spends their weekend eating, drinking, and smoking more than the normally would. This takes a physical toll on the body which, in turn, affects the psyche. Now this, this was the real reason Agent Foster _hated_ Mondays. Friday night, Saturday, and Sunday morning were all spent in the company of fine whiskey.

Monday morning would roll around and Peridot’s mortal enemy, the alarm clock, would pull her from a blackout slumber, and into the familiar sting of a hangover. All of the coffee and Advil in the world wouldn’t bring her relief. Agent Foster really despised Mondays.

The high-pitched ding of the elevator in her building told the woman that she had finally reached the floor she worked on. The elevator doors slid open, the agent flinching at the sudden invasion of light. _‘Why didn’t I bring those sunglasses, damnit?’_. She stepped out of the space, squinting through the brightness at a woman waiting just outside.

The height of said woman alone was enough for Agent Foster to guess who it was. The giant towered over Peridot. A foot taller than her, 6’ 2” at least. Muscular arms were crossed in front of her chest, moving to her hips as a sign of annoyance.

“You’re late,” the woman growled lightly. Her voice always had a gravelly tone that was irritating to Agent Foster, but with a hangover like hers, it was more akin to sandpaper in her ears.

Feeling particularly grumpy this morning, she held up a finger before staring at the watch on her wrist. Peridot sipped her coffee, sticking her tongue out a bit due to the bitterness. Normally, she enjoyed tea more, but coffee is much more numbing. _‘Thank god for caffeine.’_

“Per-”

Agent Foster cut her off with a small wag of her finger “Ah, ah! Few more seconds.”

“Seriously? This wasn’t funny the first twenty times.” The tall woman looked more exasperated than annoyed, then.

“Three, two, and there. I’m officially late. One whole minute late. Forgive me.” Foster didn’t withhold the sarcasm and disdain dripping from her voice. “I have to write that report now.”

“How much did you drink?” She followed the agent, much to the latter’s annoyance.

“Not enough.”

“Not enough? What the hell is that supposed to mean, Dot?” 

Agent Foster simply shrugged, shoved her key into her office door, and went to close it. Before she could lock it, the woman forced her way through. “Jasper, please.” The caffeine wasn’t enough for this.

“I’m worried about you, Dot, okay? I may be your supervisory agent, but I’m your friend first. I know this job can be hard and I know that you’ve seen,” Jasper paused, carefully searching for the right word, “stuff.”

“Yeah,” the agent scoffed, “‘stuff.’” She slipped her shoulder bag onto her desk rather ungracefully.

Jasper sighed as she seated herself in one of the office chairs. “I really am worried about you. You’ve been my best friend since third grade. You’re the reason I passed high school and got into the ROTC. You told me about this job when I got out of the Marines last year and was directionless. The Peridot I remember didn’t waste her weekends drinking alone.”

Agent Foster ran a hand through her wild blonde hair. “What do you need, Jasper?”

The woman stood, letting an irritated sigh leave her. “You have a case. I need that report though, so work on it on the plane. I’m not letting this go, Dot. You can’t keep drinking like this. ”

“I wouldn’t expect you to,” Foster reached under her desk and grabbed her go bag; a bag most smart agents kept in their offices for instances like this. The bag contained a few changes of clothes, extra money, necessary prescription medications, and extra ammunition to name a few. 

_‘Why did I have to be assigned a case today?’_

Agent Foster hated Mondays.

***

Three hours left.

Officer Lazuli loved her job, but she was very done with her day. She had to pull a double shift to cover for an officer that called in sick, first of all, and lucky her, they had the graveyard shift. Second on the officer’s list of ‘whoop-de-doos’, every call she had gotten as an annoyance, at most. A group of troublemaking teens tried to break into the public pool after hours three separate times. Three! Lazuli had to admit, she was impressed by their determination. It took her threatening to _arrest_ them for the hooligans to give up. Another wonderful call had been from the town nutcase. You could picture her easily if she were described. A crazy old lady with wild hair, a small army of cats, and who yelled at children for walking _across_ the street from her house? She was trying to file a noise complaint against her neighbors, said their newborn was crying too loud. _‘It’s a_ baby _!’_ Apparently it was disturbing the sleep of her cats. One ‘promise’ to talk to the neighbors later was enough to coerce the crazy old bat to back down.

What Officer Lazuli had assumed to be the last call of the night had been a bit exciting, at least. A toddler, maybe four, ran into a cornfield and his parents couldn’t find him. It took the officer twenty minutes to locate the wailing kid, and another solid twenty to find her way out. Corn stalks have a talent for finding bare skin; Lazuli’s arms still stung from the scratches.

Two hours and fifty-nine minutes left.

Officer Lazuli felt herself dozing off in the patrol car. She had parked near the highway, wishing she could catch someone speeding, though the officer knew that rarely happened in a small town like Oak Hill. She cracked the driver-side window, hoping some cool night air could keep her awake through the rest of her shift. _‘Coffee and cold air. It has a nice ring to it.’_

A chilly tan hand brought her coffee cup to her lips… It was empty. “Oh come on!”

Two hours and fifty-eight minutes left.

Would closing her eyes be that bad? Even if just for a moment? Nothing ever happened at three in the morning, especially not on a _Monday_. It wouldn’t be a big deal. Lazuli’s eyes fluttered closed, her head bobbed forward. The sweet lull of sleep was winning over the officer’s sense of duty.

“Badge eleven twenty, do you copy?”

“Shit! Fuck!” Officer Lazuli nearly hit her head on the roof with how much she jumped. She scrambled around the front seats, feeling for the radio she had haphazardly tossed inside several hours ago.

“If you fell asleep again, so help me..”

“Ten four!” She spoke loudly into the radio. “I am at a ten eight.”

“You fell asleep again.”

“Nuh-uh! Just lost in the stars. You know me, always have my head in the clouds and my eyes on the stars.”

“So, you space out a lot.”

Lazuli couldn’t help but laugh at the jab, “Yeah…”

“We have a possible ten fifty-four we need you to look into.”

The officer’s initial reaction to the code was _‘Gross’_ , which she quickly scolded herself for. Dealing with bodies was an unavoidable part of her job, and this wouldn’t be the first she had seen. Yet, that didn’t make it much easier. Seeing, especially being the first to see the body of someone who may have been living and breathing just moments ago… it was a grounding experience. It kept Lazuli humble to be reminded that life is fleeting, it can end at any moment, we’re all lucky to be alive.

“Um, ten four. I’m guessing you need me to go investigate?”

“That’s why I radioed you, Lapis.” Each officer on the force had a nickname.The Chief had given them. Hers was Lapis, the irony of her last name was a goldmine for her her Chief's sense of humor. Officer Lazuli had embraced the name, it sounded better than ‘Kawai’. “I’m sending the address to your computer. The neighbors are complaining of a smell. You know what to do if it is a body, greenie?”

“Don’t touch or move anything, call it in, blah blah blah.” Lapis was usually able to take teasing from the others. She was the newest member of the force, a recent academy graduate, so teasing was bound to happen, but the officer was suddenly feeling very tired, she really couldn’t be bothered to deal with it.

“I’m glad you take your job seriously.”

“It’s been a long fuckin’ shift, Army,’ she sighed, quite audibly. “Think I can stop for some coffee?”

Army, named so because she served two terms in the Army, met her sigh with one of equal volume. “You have a coffee problem. Just make it fast and Chief will never know.”

“Ten four, good buddy!” Just the thought of coffee improved the officer’s mood. Despite Army’s comment, Lapis had no issues with the amount of coffee she drank. There are much worse habits after all.

Twenty minutes passed, Officer Lazuli was sipping her new coffee as she pulled up to the address Army gave her. It only took ten minutes to drive to the house, but the gas station took nearly that long to brew more coffee. ‘ _Not like a body is going to get up and walk away,’_ she thought to herself, a small snort escaping her, ‘ _God I need to sleep more.’_ She exited the patrol car, pausing to stretch and pop her back. Slender fingers found the radio on her shoulder, then pushed the button to talk.

“Badge eleven twenty on locale.”

“Ten four, eleven twenty. Dispatch on stand by.”

“Roger, roger,” She returned with a robotic voice. Army felt it important to exaggerate a sigh through the radio.

“You know you love me, Army. I make your shifts the highlight of your life.”

“Just- ten three.”

Radio silence? Really? The officer simply rolled her eyes. As Lazuli made her way towards the front steps to the house she reached down to her hip, undoing the strap that kept her pistol secured in its holster. If needed, she would be able to draw her weapon far more quickly. _‘I really don’t want to have to use it.’_

Officer Lazuli knew that this was the more rundown side of town, the address told her all she needed to know about that, but the actual state of the house in front of her was still surprising. The lawn was brown and dead, despite all of the rain the town had been getting for weeks; the grass had been dead for a while, it seemed. The building itself looked like one you would see on that show Hoarders. Trash was piled up around the exterior of the house; a broken bicycle here, a set of dining chairs now rotting to the elements, one of those old rocking horses. The paint on the house was sun-bleached, peeling, and whatever color it had been originally now lost to time. 

“Dispatch, who lives here? This place is a mess.”

“It was abandoned a few months ago. I think the high school seniors were going to clean it up next week as a service project. Kids will do anything to get out of school.”

The smell hit Lapis’ nose the instant she took her first step up the porch. She gagged, covering her nose with her free hand. The scent was unholy. Eggs mixed with raw meat, left to rot for decades. _‘There’s_ definitely _a body in there…’_ The woman had been near plenty of dead bodies, sure, but a decomposing one is far different. She felt like her stomach would collapse as she approached the front door. This should have been called in much sooner than it was.This smell could _not_ have appeared overnight. She knocked loudly on the door; protocol was protocol, even if the premises was known to be vacant.

 _‘No response?_ Shocking _.’_

Lazuli knocked again, a bit more force behind this one, “Oak Hill police! Open the door!” Her voice cracked a little when a whiff of the stench assaulted her nostrils. ‘ _There goes my intimidating image,’_ she grumbled to herself.

She drew her pistol, grabbing her flashlight as well. Holding the flashlight out with her left hand, Lapis placed her armed hand atop it. ‘ _Alright, Kawai. This is my big moment. I’ve trained for this. Hell, I was just thinking about how bored I was. I just wanted a car chase or something, though. Is that too much to ask for?’_

Officer Lazuli took a deep breath, trying to calm her nerves. “We’re coming in in three! Three! Two! One!” She planted her foot behind her, leaning back on it and raising the other. One well placed kick of her boot heel and the door flew open. “Oak Hill police! We’re coming in!” She hesitantly stepped inside.

The stink was worse inside the house. It burned her nostrils, causing actual physical pain, her gag reflex was making her want to cry. Coffee rose in the officer’s throat, threatening to spill out. She began to lose her composure as raw stench overrode all other senses. _‘Focus!’_

A surge of adrenaline hit Lazuli’s blood stream, only amplified by all the caffeine in her system. Psyching herself up with a flex of her shoulders, she started searching the interior of the home. Her previous comparison was further proved by the inside. Garbage was piled to the ceiling in some areas. The dust caking the floor, shelves, and the furniture had to be an inch thick, at least. As Lapis used her flashlight to scan the area, cockroaches scattered away from the beams. She felt like the walls were closing in on her; she was never a fan of tight spaces; the piles of trash mixed with the smell was enough to make her stomach squirm. _‘Nope. Nope. Fuck this. The smell is probably coming from this trash.’_

Then the officer noticed something. _‘Footprints.’_ Disturbances in the dust covering the hardwood floor. The gait was uneven, no consistency in the distance from step to step. The left foot had a slight drag to it. _‘A limp, maybe?’_ She followed the steps, carefully avoiding them with her own, otherwise she may destroy evidence, which wouldn’t go over well with the Chief. Soon, Lapis made it to the back of the house, most likely a kitchen.

Proving her theory, she made it to the kitchen. She kept going along the trail of prints. _‘No, no, fuck. Fuck. Fuck.’_ Then she saw it, only shock and horror keep her bile where it belonged.

“Fuck!”

***

Agent Foster had seen plenty of crime scene photos in her career, gruesome images such as this one no longer phased her. Once you’ve viewed a few, they shouldn’t affect you anymore. She had spent the majority of her four hour flight going over every minute detail of the murder case she was assigned. The report Jasper needed, long forgotten in favor of dates, addresses, family histories, and anything else she could get her hands on for the case.

No detail was too insignificant to her. The photos of the crime scene weren’t the best quality,as expected from a small town police force. Luckily, she was able to pick out enough obscurities from the low-res images to keep herself satisfied. _‘The level of violence here is on the more extreme side. Judging by the broken furniture and ripped curtains, the victim did fight back.’_

She opened her laptop and pulled up the autopsy report Oak Hill PD had provided. Her green eyes scanned every word, committing it all to memory. Her notebook was open to a blank page, a pen pulled from the inside pocket of her suit vest. _‘Head trauma is listed as the cause of death though the throat was slit. The body being cut up typically indicates the intent of disposal, however, everything inferior of the transverse plane is the only portion missing. I’ve known a few murderers to take trophies but those are usually small. Taking the legs of the victim could be symbolic that they couldn’t escape and will never be able to.’_ Agent Foster ran her hand through her hair, an exasperated sigh escaping her lips. At this rate, it was going to be one _hell_ of a case.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Word Count: 3050


	2. First Meetings

[ ](https://www.flickr.com/photos/185443884@N02/49655629648/in/dateposted-public/)

Oak Hill, West Virginia. Agent Foster had done the research on the population, culture, and history of the little town during her flight. With a population near only nine thousand, the crime rate was quite low. This was the first murder in nearly fifty years. As such, the police force wasn’t well prepared to handle it, if the reports are anything for her to go off of. The agent’s plane had landed it Fayetteville, the next town over from Oak Hill, at about ten in the morning. Almost the exact instant she stepped off of the plane, her phone rang. 

“Foster,” she answered with bite.

“It’s a wonder I don’t fire you.”

“I doubt you could bring yourself to do it.”

“Heh, true. Well, I hate to tell you but I can’t get you a rental car so an Oak Hill officer will be there to pick you up.”

Agent Foster pinched the bridge of her nose, hoping the pressure would keep her calm. “I’m not even going to ask.”

“I knew you’d understand. Do you have the report done?”

_‘Shit,’_ She was too hyper focused with the case to finish it on the plane. “No. I was focused on the current case.”

“Okay, that’s fair, Dot. I need it by tonight though. The hotel has wifi.”

“Can do. I'll have it you by tonight."

"You better." The serious tone she had was noticeably fake, that was her cue to hang up.

The drive from Fayetteville to Oak Hill was only fifteen minutes, but with the headache storming in Peridot’s head, each passing second felt like a lifetime. She chose to sit in the back of the patrol car, hoping to avoid any incidental conversation with the officer at the wheel. Her eyes were closed, head leaning back against the seat, no noise other than the tires against the asphalt. The quiet was soothing, but short lived.

“So you’re FBI, huh?”

“Yes,” Agent Foster held back a sigh, “That’s why I showed you my badge when you picked me up.” She pressed her forehead to the window, the cold glass was almost relieving.

“Woah there, agent. Calm the venom, hun. I was just trying to make this car ride less awkward. You could slice through it like warm butter.”

The woman had a slight accent, _‘South African?’_ , and her voice was sweet. The agent was regretting her bitterness, this officer had been nothing but pleasant so far. Social situations were more difficult when a migraine was stopping you from analyzing them. She should have realized that acting harshly was a poor response to the kindness.

“I appreciate the thought, Officer?” Peridot didn’t know the officer’s name, that could be seen as rude. _‘Mondays.’_

“Bismuth. That’s my last name but everyone calls me that. Chief has a habit of giving everyone on the force nicknames and my last name stuck as mine.”

“Bismuth,” she would remember that, “Officer Bismuth. You’ll have to forgive my sour attitude. I have a hangover that is trying to squeeze my brain through my ears.”

“Oh I hear that,” the driver laughed softly, “Message received, Agent.”

To Agent Foster’s relief, the remainder of the ride went on in silence. It only lasted twenty minutes, though, not nearly long enough. The Advil hadn’t even started acting. Once outside of the station, she began preparing herself mentally. _‘Be pleasant. Be professional. Don’t let the alcohol affect your work. Do your job.’_

_‘Rain.’_ Foster could tell. The sky was cloudy, the air was humid, and there was a strong smell of wet dirt around. She hated rain more than she hated Monday. A hangover on a rainy Monday. It’s like a poem written by nature, except nature hates her.

Agent Foster had never quite gotten over the indescribable feeling that accompanied stepping into a police station. There was always a sense of awe in the room, she supposed it had to do with her being FBI. Said awe was always altered when her status as a specialized agent was revealed, either becoming respect or fear, she could never tell. A standard agent was cool, you could look up to them. A specialized agent? That was a mystery you couldn’t solve at first glance. Peridot observed the station as she followed behind Officer Bismuth, gathering what information she could from a scan of the room they passed through.

_‘They are far too relaxed for just having had a gruesome murder. They seem well organized though, which is comforting.’_ As she was lead through the large room, she had a look at one of the many desks filling the room. One of the officers was _asleep_ . She was leaning back in her chair, feet up on her desk, _‘Very professional. And her hair is blue? The dreadlocks on Bismuth are at least passable.’_

Agent Foster was pulled from her thoughts, nearly colliding with the officer leading her. Officer Bismuth stopped in front of the door to knock, quite loudly.

“Hey, Chief,” Bismuth swung the door open without so much as a ‘come in’, “the fed is here.”

“Special Agent Foster.” Peridot corrected her, stepping into the office.

“Thank you, Bismuth.” Chief Garnet Adams was standing behind her desk, what seemed to be a printed report in her hand. She was a tall woman who gave a very commanding presence, Foster could tell. Her voice was calm and steady, almost melodic. The agent heard an English accent, which was strange. “Please sit, Agent Foster. Give me just a moment.”

Peridot waited for Officer Bismuth to close the door, taking a seat in front of the Chief’s desk. She studied the towering form of the woman before her, mind having kicked in to investigation mode.The first observation she made was of the picture frames placed noticabley in the center of a bookshelf behind the Chief. Each and every photo was of Adams and the same two women. There was a dark skinned figure, incredibly short in stature even compared to the agent’s own height. Another, Peridot assumed to be of Scandevian, judging by the facial features and pale skin tone, she was just as short as the other. The poses and caring expressions the two wore lead Foster to believe they were Garnet’s mothers. She also saw a glass case holding an American Flag, the flag was folded into a standard triangle. The case bore a U.S. Navy crest, decorated with a Navy SEALS insignia. Various medals and awards were housed in their own cases on either side of the flag.

“I’m sorry about that, Agent Foster. As I’m sure you can imagine, things are chaotic at the moment.” Chief Adams placed the report on her desk, regarding the agent with eyes hidden behind her glasses.

_‘I couldn’t tell with your officers sleeping on the job,’_ Even while steeling herself for the briefing, Peridot still felt small under the chief’s gaze, as if she were being weighed up. She was far too used to being the observer, and the feeling of being the subject of someone’s piercing eye was foreign and uncomfortable. “I understand, Chief Adams. This is a complex, perhaps even confusing, situation for you and your force. The nature of this murder is beyond the ordinary.”

“It is indeed. And please, call me Garnet.” She slid the report from a moment ago across the desk. “This is an update from doctor Thompson; she performed the autopsy.”

“Thank you, Garnet.” The name fell from her lips less than gracefully. The agent didn’t call people by first names often, surnames felt more professional and were easier to remember. Yet the agent felt that she should listen to her, it was a pressure that she respected. Instead of lingering on that, she decided to give the revised autopsy report a look. “The vocal cords are missing? Interesting,” she thought aloud.

“I guess that’s one way to put it.” Chief Adams made her way to the door, turning the handle. “We have a conference room set up for you to work in.”

“Hmm,” she simply hummed in response. Her mind was too focused on the report to actually hear the chief, theories running through her mind one after the other.

“Would you like to work there or,” Adams left the question open.

“Do you allow all of your officers to have such relaxed standards in regards to their hair?” Agent Foster really needed to stop speaking without thinking about it first.

“Um,” Chief Adams hadn’t been expecting a question in response to her own, let alone one regarding the state of her force’s hair.

“I’m specifically referring to the one with blue hair and Officer Bismuth’s dreadlocks. It appears very unprofessional.”

“It gives my officers some sense of self while having to be in a uniform. I don’t mind as long as it isn’t too distracting. The blue is new though. Not sure how I feel about it yet.”

“Understood,” Agent Foster grabbed the report, it wasn’t a moment before she was following Garnet out of the office. “Self identity can help with self preservation in a particularly dangerous line of work. You said a conference room, yes?”

“Yes.” Chief Adams lead her further through the building, keeping a decent pace to allow Peridot to briefly familiarize herself with the station’s layout. “The one with blue hair, Officer Lazuli, is actually the officer dispatched to the scene and the one to find the body.”

“She’s the one sleeping. I hope her lack of work ethic hasn’t ruined any evidence.”

“Officer Lazuli is one of the best on my force. She had worked almost eighteen hours when she got the call; she took an extra shift when one of the other officers showed up sick. She stayed on scene while waiting for backup then continued to stay while waiting for the CSI crew to show up. If that doesn’t help raise your opinions of her, I told her to go home two hours ago but she refused to do so until the FBI, until you got here.” The chief halted at an opaque glass door, obviously labeled ‘conference’.

Agent Foster was surprised by this, “Forgive me for jumping to conclusions. I would like to ask her a few questions, as soon as she is available” She entered the room and glanced around. It was a typical conference room; large table right in the centered, chairs around it, a projector, very standard. A lot of natural light was let into the room by a large window. Peridot draped her coat over the back of a chair, she would soon be busy. Rolling up her sleeves, she turned back to Adams.

“I need a whiteboard, or chalkboard, either will do. Whiteboard is prefered, less dust. If I could get a coffee pot in here as well, that would be fantastic. No coffee, though. I just need it for the hot water. I brought my own tea bags. Lastly, I need every piece of information you have collected in regards to this case as well as every crime committed in this county going back ten years. No crime is too small; I will judge if information is insignificant.”

“They did warn you were a quirky one.” Chief Adams smiled, her voice had a light humor.

Agent Foster wrinkled her nose, brow furrowing. “Quirky? Perhaps… But I get results and that’s all that really matters.”

***

Officer Bismuth approached the napping Lazuli and gently pushed her feet off of the desk. “Wake up, Blue.”

Officer Lazuli woke with a start, flinching into a sitting position with a sharp inhale. “What time is it?”

“Little after eleven. You got some drool, baby girl.” Bismuth sat on the desk, leaning on a hand, the other moving to point at her own cheek.

Lapis quickly wiped her cheek using the back of her hand. “Fuck. Did it get on my uniform?”

Her friend simply nodded.

“Fuck,” She groaned.

“Calm down, Blue. The world isn’t ending.” Bismuth held out a fresh mug of coffee, stifling a small laugh.

Lazuli accepted the gift and took a swift sip. “Is the FBI here yet?”

“Yup. All set up in the conference room. Just one agent though, Agent O. Peridot Foster. She’s a tiny one. Remind me why you wanted to wait for the feds.”

Lapis looked thoughtfully into the cup she held. “I’ve always wanted to meet one. I’ve thought about becoming one too. Kinda silly, huh?”

“Nah. Not at all, Lapis. It’s your lucky day though. She wants to talk to you.”

“Really!?” She shot up. Shock and anticipation jolted through her. “Don’t be lying to me, Bis!”

“Really, really, Blue.” Bismuth chuckled. “Careful though, she's not a normal agent. Somethin’ about being specialized. Not sure what that means.”

“Means she’s cooler than a normal one, duh. How do I look?”

“You have drool down your uniform.”

“Well, besides that, Bis.”

“You look like you haven’t slept in weeks.”

“God, you’re useless,” The officer exaggerated a groan. “Last question. Is she cute?” She wiggled her eyebrows.

“You need to get laid, Lapis,” The other chuckled again. “She’s not my type, but sure. She’s cute. She’s also an FBI agent who is here to work.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Lazuli straightened her belt, then strolled toward the back of the station.

“Conference room, Blue!” She could hear being called to her.

Officer Lazuli did her best to contain the excitement that was still building in her. She came to a halt just outside of the occupied room. A fellow officer carrying a large box stepped through the door before she could. It looked like one of the boxes Lapis remembers being told stored old, closed, or abandoned cases. Unable to wait any longer, she followed behind the other, unsure what to expect from the room.

Something Lazuli did _not_ expect, however, was to enter and find that the agent was sitting _on_ the table, positioned right in the center. Boxes were stacked behind her; a laptop, a notebook, and a few books surrounded her front.The agent's focus was seemingly fixated on her laptop, Lapis didn’t even see her acknowledge the box being dropped on the table by the other officer. _‘Why does she have a pen behind her ear_ and _between her teeth?’_ There were a few empty coffee cups beside her, as well.

“Um, Agent Foster?” The agent turned to Lapis, causing her to stare in awe. Her eyes were the most vibrant green hue the officer has ever seen. Freckles across her nose accentuated her pale skin. Her blonde head of hair was quite wild yet did show attempts at taming. Even from the weird angle Lapis had, she could tell she was short, or at least shorter than most. The agent was also thin, not unhealthy by any means, but still thin.

“Officer Lazuli.” Agent Foster had to pull the pen from her mouth to speak. She took a moment to study the officer. The woman was average height, maybe 5’6”. _‘Tall mother, maybe?’_ Her build was on muscular side; being a police officer took a certain degree of fitness, but the agent guessed she did morning workouts maybe… four times a week, so she likely took the job seriously. She had darker skin, likely of islander heritage. _‘Moved from Hawaii, I assume.’_ Her hair was blue, of course, cut in a short bob that was pulled back into a ponytail. Something stuck out. It had to be the eyes. Peridot had never seen such a saturated shade of blue in a human before, at least, not in person. She had to stop herself from asking for a DNA sample of the girl.

“Most everyone calls me Lapis,” the officer smiled. She felt a bit warm under the intense gaze of the agent. _‘Please stop looking at me like that…’_

“Lapis? Lapis Lazuli? Really.”

“Isn’t your middle name Peridot, miss green eyes?” Lapis huffed, crossing her arms over her chest not dissimilar to a child. “‘Sides, it’s just the nickname Chief gave me and I love it. My name is Kawai Lazuli.”

“You’re Hawaiian. I suspected as much. Well, Officer Lazuli, please have a seat. I have a few questions to ask you.” She grabbed her notebook and flipped it to a new page. “Please don’t touch anything. I have some organization despite what looks like chaos.”

“Yeah, sure.” Lapis hesitantly sat. She felt tired then; an interview wasn’t something she was planning for.

***

Foster was antsy to see it. It was key to her job. Being there, having angles, perspectives, physical substance, it’s the only way to truly understand a case. The agent was honestly impressed with the observations Officer Lazuli had on the scene. She had potential, and Peridot didn’t want to pass up the opportunity to help cultivate it. So she decided to have Lazuli join her the crime scene, hoping it would be a learning experience. Now, as the two drove, she felt a bit of guilt, as Lapis looked very tired. _‘Not surprising, that was likely her first encounter with a gruesome body. The first is always the hardest, after all.’_ Peridot cleared her throat to break the silence, “Ahem. I am sorry that I asked you to come. You seem to have a good head on your shoulders and I was impressed with your initial views on the scene. I believe having you along will be of benefit to us both.”

“S’okay,” she replied through a yawn, “just gotta let the coffee kick in. Besides, it’s not every day you get to work with a special FBI agent. What does that mean anyway?”

“I work in a specialized department of the Federal Bureau of Investigation, therefore I am a special agent.”

“What department is that?”

“Behavioral analysis unit.”

“You had my curiosity but now you have my attention. What the fu-,” she cut herself off, seeming unprofessional wasn’t on Lapis’ to-do list, “what does the unit do?”

Agent Foster gazed through the window, chewing her lip, hoping to collect her thoughts before speaking. “I analyze the behaviors and actions of criminals, specifically highly dangerous ones like serial killers or child kidnappers. Based on their behaviors and actions, I can tell you what type of person to look for. I can also think like them once I know enough and predict what they will do next.”

“You can tell all of that from looking at a crime scene?” Lapis couldn’t deny that she was very impressed.

“I need more than that, but it’s a start. There’s a lot of details at crime scenes that everyday officers and CSI teams aren’t trained to look for simply because it’s insignificant to them.”

“That’s pretty cool. Well, we’re here.” She parked the patrol car across the street, deja vu of the previous night hit her briefly. “Just a sec.”

Peridot watched as her companion downed the last of her coffee as though it would be the last thing she ever put in her body. The two slid out of the car at the same time, the doors closing behind them with a thunk. _‘This could have been a good day.’_ The agent scowled up at the sky, challenging the universe, as she turned her coat collar up.

“Don’t like rain, Agent Foster?” Lazuli began approaching the house.

“No. Not in the least.” The woman looked small walking beside Lapis, almost hiding in her coat.

Officer Lazuli smiled; the agent’s expression was that of a sulking child who recently had their favorite toy taken from them. _‘She’s pretty cute… was Bismuth right about the getting laid thing?’_ Now that she was standing side by side with Agent Foster, Lapis could easily tell how short she was. Hell, if it weren’t for the badge and high-caliber firearm, the officer wouldn’t find her intimidating at all. It was unfortunate they had to be in a professional situation. In another scenario, she would have loved to get to know the agent better.

Agent Foster flashed her badge to the on-scene officer as she ducked under the police tape. “Who lived here?”

“No one,” Lapis just shrugged, “it was abandoned a few months ago.”

“This house is in a deplorable state,” she grumbled aloud as she took the porch steps up to the house. As she overtook Lapis, the officer noticed a very slight limp in her stride. _‘Would it be rude to ask?’_

“What was the first thing you noticed, Officer Lazuli?”

“Besides the trash and cockroaches? The footprints. The shoe size was large, so I figured a male. The left foot had a bit of a drag to it too.”

The agent squatted low to the floor, hoping to get a better view of the footprints.

“It’s a good thing this house is so dirty or I wouldn’t have noticed them.” Officer Lazuli let herself have a shameful peek at her behind.

“It’s a woman, not a man. Good guess though.” She stood. “See how the distance between the footprints is fairly consistent, despite the drag? If a man were consciously trying to take smaller steps the distance would be less consistent. Human movement is incapable of consistency to this degree when being consciously controlled. The shoe size is definitely a mens size, good eye on that.” Peridot tapped her chin, stuck in thought, “Wearing a men's shoe is a good attempt at trying to throw us off. Also, the left foot is definitely dragging, I’m impressed you noticed. The drag indicates an injury to the knee.”

“You can tell all that from footprints?” Dumbfounded was the only word to accurately describe Lazuli’s reaction to the specialist’s monologue.

“Yes.” Peridot looked back over her shoulder with a smug smirk.

“Well shit,” she breathed out, “fuck me sideways that’s pretty cool.”

“I appreciate your professionalism, Officer Lazuli,” the, now standing, agent deadpanned.

“Oh, I get that a lot, Agent Foster.” She shrugged, a small smile tugging at her lips.

Agent Foster looked forward again, thoughtful as she made her way to the kitchen. _‘Playful banter is a sign of friendship, but her body posture and eye movement indicate that she’s flirting with me. Well, at least attempting to.’_

As she entered the kitchen, the agent heard a sharp inhale from behind her. “Are you alright, Officer Lazuli?”

“Y-yeah. Just different during the day. That and I don’t think I fully processed what I was seeing last time.”

“I understand. If it’s any consolation, this is pretty horrific, even with everything I’ve seen.”

“Thanks?” She couldn’t find any comfort in the statement.

Agent Foster pulled her notebook from her pocket, wasting no time before she got to work. The first obvious detail she studied was the pattern of blood spatter. The wall opposite to the dining room table was home to the largest splotch of it. The height of the blood indicated that this was where the blow was struck on the back of the victim’s head. She stepped nearer to it, far closer than anyone with a gag reflex would be comfortable with, to get a better look. Near the center of the splat, the blood was smeared slightly by the victims hair; the killing blow, seemingly from a baseball bat, hadn’t finished them immediately. The damage it caused was still likely what killed them. _‘They were held at the wall, and definitely struggled. No wonder there’s so much blood.’_

The next pattern she took to was at an upward angle, one big initial burst, continuous spurts around it. Telltale signs that this was where the victim’s throat was slit, and quite violently. The drops of blood even reached the ceiling, so it was easy to tell that the killer either a) enjoyed the violence, or b) had built up rage.

“Why slit their throat if the first blow to the head supposedly killed them?” The agent took a few steps back from the wall.

“Maybe they didn’t know the hit on the head killed them?”

Agent Foster startled. “Possibly.”

“Forget I was here?” She made an amused snort.

“Momentarily.” She straightened her vest, “Your theory is one possible answer but I have another one as well. The overly violent nature of this murder suggest that our killer revels in violence. Slitting the throat of the victim was all part of the game to them. Perhaps, they went into a frenzy of sorts and just kept attacking.”

“I like your idea better.”

“Your theory still has credibility.” Agent Foster strolled toward the kitchen counter. “And this is where your found the body.”

“Yeah,” the officer shuddered at the memory. “Won’t forget that anytime soon.”

Peridot’s nose wrinkled. “I was told no clean up crew has come.”

“None has,” she watched the agent curiously.

“Then why do I smell bleach-” the specialist had an epiphany. “I need a blacklight, and get the windows covered.”

“Okay,” Lapis simply shrugged. She went to talk to the CSI crew that was still packing their equipment.

It took the two several minutes, but soon, all light entering the kitchen had been blocked from it. Officer Lazuli found herself admiring how excited the agent had become due to her new development. She offered the blacklight. “We’re good to go.”

“Good. Good. A single beam of light will disrupt my brilliance.”

“Do you always get this excited?” Lapis asked through a chortle. _‘Why is her enthusiasm so infectious? Damn.’_

“Only when my genius is brilliantly scary. Now, behold!” Agent Foster powered the blacklight on, filling the entire kitchen with faint blue light. All of the blood (among other things Lapis didn’t feel like thinking about) shown out an even brighter blue. The specialist stood herself at the wall where the victim’s throat had been slit.

“Ah ha. I knew it.” Her voice was filled with hubris, clearly happy with the results her theory yielded.

“Shit,” the other woman gasped, “how’d I miss that?” There were symbols drawn on the wall. Four lines in parallel groups of two intersected to make an “X”. There were symbols drawn on either side of the x as well.

[ ](https://www.flickr.com/photos/185443884@N02/49200805518/in/dateposted-public/)

“The killer wrote on the wall, let it dry, then cleaned it up. It wouldn’t have been visible to you.”

“Okay. Why would they do that and what does it mean?”

“I am not sure. Yet.”

[ ](https://www.flickr.com/photos/185443884@N02/49201500997/in/dateposted-public/)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Word Count: 4437  
> This was a long one. REALLY happy with it. Hope you guys enjoyed! Leave a comment and a kudo! - Draconly


	3. Coffee

[ ](https://www.flickr.com/photos/185443884@N02/49655629648/in/dateposted-public/)

It was rare that Lapis didn’t get any sleep. Yet, the night before, she had tossed and turned for what felt like forever. The images of the murder scene invaded her mind and the lack of sleep only made everything worse. The blood was dry on the wall but would slowly return to the glistening red of fresh blood. It seemed to pour out of the wall as if it was spilling from an open wound. It would gush and spurt, like an open artery. There was so much blood that it started to fill the kitchen. Her feet were stuck in place, she couldn't take a single step no matter how much she commanded her body, as the blood began to pool around her feet. When there was enough blood to cover her ankles, she would be pulled under. An invisible force pulled her under in one quick jerk. The blood was sickeningly warm as if fresh from a body. It was thick, syrupy, and stuck to her skin as she was pulled deeper and deeper. She was drowning in the blood. Her lungs were screaming for air and eventually her brain would comply. As soon as she opened her mouth she found herself safe in her bed.

When she was lulled back into sleep, she would find herself in that kitchen again. The half decaying body of the victim would be twitching wildly on the counter, as if having a seizure. The rotting arms would reach out and grasp the air. The arms and fingers would snap and bend in unnatural eyes as the flailed endlessly. The head would turn with a snap of the neck to look at her. The empty sockets housed an endless darkness. She could feel her soul burning and being sucked in. In the blink of an eye, the body was face to face with her. It was too close for comfort. It's head would cock to the side with another snap. The rotted lips then parted, the dead flesh sticking to itself and pulling apart unevenly with the lips. The breath was frigid on her face and the smell of decay, the smell of death, filled her nostrils once again. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't pull away. She was trapped there, empty eyes burning into her. Then, they screamed. Louder than a human could and at a higher pitch. The sound was painful and shook her to her very core. 

Sometimes it felt like she was awake, yet she was still having nightmares. _'Maybe Agent Foster knows if you can have dreams while you're awake.'_ Unsurprisingly, she didn’t get much rest last night.

Officer Lazuli was narrowly on time to work. She didn’t even have time to stop and grab a coffee on her commute there. The officer loathed the thought of drinking the breakroom coffee, which is more like dirty water. She got to her desk, barely having time to set her coat down before she was interrupted.

“Lapis. My office, please.”

Lazuli stumbled towards her chief’s office. Her eyelids felt so much more heavy now that she was at work, even rubbing them hardly helped. “What’s up, Chief?” She stood in the doorway, leaning against its frame.

“Agent Foster has requested your help in the investigation. Also, your shirt is buttoned wrong.”

Lapis quickly checked, looking down as she felt her cheeks flush with embarrassment. Sure enough, Garnet was right, she was one button off. But that was less important than the reason the chief actually called her. “Me? I don’t know how I can help a Federal agent, Chief. I’m still pretty green on the force. I guess I can get her coffee, make copies…” Her voice was lost as she spoke, nearly silent before she was cut off.

“You think too little of yourself. Lapis. You’re bright, think quickly on your feet, and take pride in your job. I’m positive Agent Foster sees that in you and more. But if you’re still unsure, ask her yourself. You’re a good officer, Lapis, and I’m proud to have you on my force. Don’t forget that.”

Officer Lazuli had no clue how to respond, it wasn’t often that you get sincere compliments such as that. A mix of surprise and sleep deprivation brought her to the verge of tears at that thought. Garnet never lied, and she had spoken with such conviction that Lapis doubted she was joking. _‘I am a good officer, aren’t I?’_ She could feel a large sense of pride swelling in her.

“She’s in the conference room, don’t keep her waiting.”

She rubbed her eyes again, for different reasons than before. “Yeah. Thank you, Chief. That meant a lot to me.”

“Hold onto that feeling.”

Lapis smiled, nodded, and turned on her heel. A renewed energy hit her as she strode to the conference room, stopping only to fix her shirt in the bathroom. She would keep telling herself that she _was_ a good officer, one who had the opportunity of a lifetime to work side by side with a Federal agent, even if she did only end up making her copies and picking her up coffee. When the officer arrived in the conference room, she had to stop herself from bursting into laughter. The stack of boxes on the table had somehow _doubled_ in size since yesterday. There was a new pile of books as well. Lapis also found Agent Foster, once again, sitting _on_ the table, right in the center. The blonde had a large book open in her lap, right leg cradling it while her left stretched away from her. The funniest part, however, was the little black bowtie the agent was wearing, wrapped around the collar of her dress shirt perfectly. _‘That’s honestly impressive, ties suck.’_

“Morning, Agent Foster,” though she tried, Lazuli couldn’t keep the humor from her tone.

Peridot looked up, concern hit her face instantly. “You didn’t sleep well.”

“Is it really that obvious?” The officer sat in the chair with the most table space.

“To me, yes. I noticed that you’re dragging your feet slightly as you walk, but not a largely noticeable difference. When we are tired, it takes our brains more time to send signals to their destination. This in turn causes your feet to drag. It is also the cause of a difference in speech patterns. You’re holding your vowels a tad bit longer than what was normal yesterday. The biggest indicator is of course the bags under your eyes. That’s an obvious indicator for anyone. When you are tired your blood vessels expand in an attempt to move oxygen to your brain more quickly. Expanded blood vessels are easier to see under thin skin, such as the skin surrounding your eyes. I will say, you’ve done rather well covering them up.”

Lapis’ half-asleep brain needed a moment to catch up. “Has anyone ever told you that you’re kinda scary?”

“Yes. I hear that a lot,” the response was deadpan.

The swiftness of her response alongside how empty it sounded made Lapis snort. “You’re also pretty funny, Agent Foster.”

“Funny? That is a first.” Peridot set the book she was coddling on to the table, then scooted to the edge. “I surmised from our interactions yesterday and my observations that you are a lover of coffee. So I propose that, in order to work effectively today, we go get some. My treat.” Agent Foster winced as she slid off of the table.

“Now you’re speaking my language, agent.” She couldn’t help but smile. _‘Looks like I live another day without breakroom coffee.’_

Lapis drove the two to her favorite coffee shop in town. However lame the name was, the Oaky Bean had the best chocolate croissants she had ever tasted. The comforting atmosphere in the shop threatened to lull her into sleep, slowly sinking into her chair. Peridot was seemingly engrossed in her notebook, so Lazuli took the time to study her a bit closer. Her style of dress perfectly fit in with everything Lapis knew about her. A dark green button-down shirt, black suit vest and slacks, topped with a black bowtie. It was a look befitting any federal agent, threatening yet professional, but Lapis felt that she would wear something similar even on days off. With the agent’s jacket off, her shoulder holster was clearly visible. It was made of black, faded leather. The thing that interested her, however, was the revolver housed in the holster. Lapis didn’t even think it was American-made. Pistols were a standard issue, at least for the police force. Perhaps the FBI had different regulations. She made a mental note to ask. Even after spending far too long ogling the woman’s fashion, Lapis was still entranced every time she saw Peridot’s eyes, bright and emerald.

“Lazuli.”

“Hmm?” She lifted her mug to her lips.

“You’re staring at me.”

She choked on her coffee. How long had she been staring? Feeling the coffee drip down her chin, she quickly grabbed a napkin and dried it. This was her last clean shirt. “I-I was zoning out. Sorry. Didn’t mean to stare.”

“I see,” she didn’t believe her for a second. She had seen her eyes wandering her face and torso.

“I, um, actually wanted to ask you something.” Lapis changed the topic.

“Alright. Ask away.” Peridot sipped her tea.

“Why did you ask the Chief for me to help you? I’m not really sure how I can help you. I know you have a PhD. I’m just a beat cop in a small town. I guess I don’t understand.”

“You have potential, Lazuli, it’s not hard to see. The fact that you noticed the drag of the left foot while no one else reported it, even your CSI crew, impressed me greatly. That shows me you have an eye for detail. At the crime scene yesterday, you proposed a theory to me without my prompting. No one else has done that before. Most people stay quiet around me. What impresses me the most is that your theory still has credibility and I’m still considering it. You’re a lot smarter than you give yourself credit for.” Another sip of her tea. “Officer Bismuth also mentioned how you were, what word did she use again, ah, fangirling over me.”

Lapis’ cheeks flushed, taken completely aback by such betrayal. “I’m going to kill her.”

“I suggest you don’t. I can only investigate one murder at a time.”

“Was that humor, Agent Foster?” Her hand rushed to her chest, feigning shock.

Peridot prepared to speak, but was interrupted by the ring of a phone. ‘Bad to the Bone’ by The Destroyers invaded the quiet of the coffee shop until the agent answered her phone. She held up a finger to the officer as she answered. “Foster.”

“Well hello, Dot.”

“Oh hello, Chief.”

“Did you drink last night?”

“Yes.”

“Dot… Did you at least sleep?”

“Yes.” It was a lie.

“How’s the hotel? Wifi work?”

“The hotel is deplorable.”

“Where is my goddamn report, Foster!?! Peridot pulled the phone from her ear as her supervisor yelled. It was loud enough that even Lapis heard every word. She smirked. Presumptuously, the perfect Agent Foster wasn’t as flawless as she seemed.

“Report? What report-” She released a gasp alongside an eyeroll, playing it up as much as possible. She winked at Lapis, wearing a devilish smirk “Oh. That report. How soon did you need it again?” She preemptively removed the phone again.

“LAST FRIDAY, DOT! IT’S TUESDAY!”

“I’m so glad you know your days of the week, Jasper. Did they teach you that in boot camp?”

“I SWEAR TO GOD PERIDOT IF YOU DON’T-”

“I’ll have it to you tomorrow,” her speech was drowned by the screaming, “I promise. Bye bye, Chief-y poo! Loves and hugs. Take an antacid.”

The very second the phone call ended, Lapis burst into a tearful laughter. “Are you going to get in trouble?”

“Trouble? The great and lovable Peridot? Never. The report she needs is done. I just like to give her ulcers.” It was obviously a fact.

“And you get away with that?”

“Jasper and I go way back. It’s my right, nay, my duty to give her as much hell as I possibly can.”

“You’re not what I expected Agent Foster.” Again, she was chortling.

“Peridot,” The agent enjoyed the other’s laughter. “You can call me Peridot.” She didn’t often allow people to refer to her by anything other than ‘Foster’, but… _‘Something’s different about this one, what is it?’_

“Only if you call me Lapis,” The wink she gave was only amplified by her flirtatious tone.

“Touché, Lazuli,” Agent Foster could feel a light heat on her face, ultimately deciding to ignore it. “My turn to ask a question. You were raised in Hawaii, I can tell by your subtle accent, so how did you end up in the complete opposite of a place like Oak Hill?”

“Hmm,” The officer finished her coffee while in thought. “If I lie, would you be able to tell?”

“Oh absolutely.”

“I’m running from my millionaire husband. It was an arranged marriage, I’m not attracted to men, but it was to make Makua happy. He wants me to have a hundred of his babies. The thought of being in bed with him is enough to make my stomach turn. I figured that this would be the last place he would look for me.”

“Okay,” Peridot chuckled, “I don’t need a PhD to tell that was a lie. You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to, Lazuli. I’m just a naturally curious person. When I want to know something, it’s like an itch that can only be scratched by the answer.”

“I’ll scratch that itch.” She regretted the words before they even left her mouth. The look on the agent’s face only served to heighten her embarrassment. “Wait. Wait. That was a fuckin’ weird thing to say.”

“Really? I hadn’t noticed.” Again with that smirk.

“Shut up. Lemme try again.” She cleared her throat. “Allow me to satisfy the curiosity that ails you, Special Agent Foster. Better?”

“Better.”

“Alright. So, after I graduated from the Ke Kula Maka’i police academy in Honolulu, I got into a really bad relationship. We weren’t right for each other but we tried to make it work. We were pretty horrible to each other.” She stared down at the empty mug in her hand, running a slender finger around the rim. “I did a lot of things I’m not proud of, but I went through hell too. We had a really big fight, she actually broke a window trying to throw a plate at me. I just wanted to leave, ya know? I felt my life falling apart around me so I wanted to start a new one. I just kinda ended up in Oak Hill,” she shrugged.

Luckily, the woman across from her didn’t seem to push, but instead began staring intently.

“Stop,” Lapis groaned, dragging out the vowels dramatically. She put her forehead on the table. "I can _feel_ you analyzing me.”

“I apologize, Lazuli. It’s second nature to me, part of who I am. If it helps you feel better, I’m not letting it affect my opinion of you.”

“But isn’t that your job?” Lazuli’s head turned a bit, glancing at the agent. “You form opinions on people based on your analysis.”

Peridot was surprised she remembered that. “Yes. But only criminals. And as far as I know, you’re not a criminal.”

The other sat up straight, chuckling. “You caught me, agent. My record is full of slaying hearts of hot ladies.” Lapis shot her a classic finger gun-wink combo.

“Now you have another crime to add; those terrible finger guns.”

The officer kept laughing. “Holy smokes, Peri. Are you sure you’re a fed? You’re way too funny to be a federal agent.”

That heat was back, and again, Foster chose to ignore it. “When I checked this morning, I was still a fed.” _‘Peri…? Where did that come from? Nicknames indicate a certain level of friendship I wasn’t aware we had reached. I suppose it’s better than Dot. Giving someone a nickname also indicates a strong connection; platonic or not. She_ is _flirting with me though, but I don't think she’s entirely conscious of it. I would be lying if I said she wasn’t attractive, but I have a job I ne-’_ Her thoughts were interrupted by static from the radio on Lapis’ shoulder.

“Badge eleven twenty, do you copy?”

[ ](https://www.flickr.com/photos/185443884@N02/49230585311/in/dateposted-public/)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for reading! Another shout out to my editor, Toxic_DArt. They are truly an amazing person and an amazing editor. Leave a comment, I love comments.
> 
> Side note: I'm not the best at drawing people realistically. I mean, Peridot isn't. ;)
> 
> Edit: Word count 2,761


	4. Suspect Number One

[ ](https://www.flickr.com/photos/185443884@N02/49655629648/in/dateposted-public/)

It upset Lapis, having her time at the coffee shop cut short. Seeing a new, amicable side of Agent Foster was lovely. The two faces of her, to Lapis, were like seperate people. The federal agent, stiff, stoic, scary--that was Agent Foster. But the other persona, quick witted, funny, humanized---That was Peridot. The officer wanted to learn more about that one. 

The duo had been called to the station, not before Lapis grabbed more coffee, though. They had called Code 2, no lights or sirens but still urgent. Lazuli drove as quickly as she could _without_ disobeying traffic laws. _‘Another red light? You’ve gotta be kidding,’_ she groaned.

Lapis’ companion had been completely silent since they entered the car. She stared out of the passenger-side window while her leg bounced rapidly. Peridot’s mind was racing and she had little control over her train of thought; she was nowhere near as focused on the case as she would have liked to be. She rested her hand on the pocket of her pants, anxiously awaiting a reply from her friend and superior.

“Peri?” Lapis spoke softly, hoping to break the silence. She was unsure what the agent was thinking, but she seemed anxious, so she tread lightly. When a response never came, Lapis tried again. “Peridot? Agent Foster?”

“Yes?” Peridot finally pulled her eyes from the window, leering at the officer.

Lapis stepped on the gas as soon as the light turned green. “If you need to talk to me, you can. I know we’ve just met, but it looks like something is bothering you. My dad always said that thoughts are mud until they filter through your mouth.”

“Do you really want to know what I’m thinking?”

“Honestly? Yeah. If it helps, I mean.”

Foster’s gaze returned to the window. She wouldn’t tell Lapis, not entirely, at least. A partial truth would do. “Those symbols from the murderer seem very familiar to me, specifically the x. I know I’ve seen it before but I can’t quite place it. The other symbols have to be some sort of code. They want to communicate with us but I don’t know the cypher. I don’t think it will be long before they kill again either. Murders of this nature aren’t a one-time thing. Murders of this nature aren’t typical of females either. Historically, female serial killers kill in less… messy means. So far, this goes against all norms I am familiar with.”

“I’m sure you’ll figure it out, Peri. You’re like the smartest person I have ever seen. And I’m here to help too.” Lapis smiled at her as she put the car in park.

“Thank you, Lazuli. I greatly appreciate it. And, I do apologize, I’m not used to being called Peri. No one ever has before.”

“Well, _Peri_ , you better get used to it.” Lazuli winked, exiting the cruiser.

Officer Bismuth was waiting for the two just inside the entrance. Peridot was still mildly confounded at her stature. Before this case, she had assumed Jasper was the only Amazonian giant. Bismuth’s smile was always pleasant, and her nature was goodhearted; the opposite of her long-time friend. The woman wore a wide grin and seemed excited as they approached.

“There you two are. Took you long enough.”

“My bad, Bis. I needed more coffee.” Lapis presented her cup as proof.

“Baby girl, honey, you gotta cut back on how much you drink that stuff. The amount you drink has to be unhealthy, right agent?”

When the question was met with silence, Lapis glanced at the agent beside her. Peridot’s gaze looked distant and almost empty. _‘Why is she so distracted?’_ It took a gentle nudge to alert her.

Peridot blinked once before speaking, “Why were we called back with urgency?”

“Right, right,” Bismuth began walking, motioning for the others to follow. “I was called to the house when the neighbors said someone was hanging around there. I arrested some girl snooping around the kitchen.”

“The murderer?” Lapis just sipped her coffee.

“Doubtful,” Agent Foster was back. Lapis wanted to sigh. She had hoped Peridot would stay a while longer, but there was nothing but business and vigil in her voice now. “While it is common that serial murderers return to the scenes of their killings, this is far too soon.”

“Well, Chief left her for you, agent. She’s in hotbox three, Lapis.” Bismuth sat down at her desk.

“Three, got it.” Lapis kept moving.

“Actually, I need to use the restroom first.” The agent continued in a different direction. There was a vibration in her pocket, and she counted on it being a text from Jasper.

Lapis slowed, finally letting out that sigh.

“What you thinkin’, Blue?” Bismuth cocked her head curiously.

Lapis leaned against Bismuth’s desk. “I dunno, Bis. We got coffee and talked and it was great. It was like she was a different person. Hell, she was even hilarious, Bis. You should’ve seen the way she teased her Chief over the phone.”

“Hmm, so what I’m hearing is that ol’ Blue has a crush?”

“What? No.” A little squeak in her voice betrayed her words. “I just think she’s a cool person. I want to get to know her. In a completely platonic way,” she finished rather quickly.

“It’s okay to have a crush, Blue. You could do a lot worse than Tiny.”

“Tiny?” Lapis snorted.

“Yup.”

***

Peridot practically tore her phone from her pocket as soon as she got the bathroom door closed. She swiftly accessed Jasper’s reply,

**Chief Clod:** There’s a lot worse things than a nickname Dot

 **Me:** Only two people have ever given me a nickname, Jasp.

 **Chief Clod:** So she likes you? What’s the problem?

 **Me:** She’s, ah, flirting with me…

 **Chief Clod:** LMAO! So this is what this is about? Dot, you’re a catch. Flirt back, have some fun ;P

 **Me:** I can’t believe you’re condoning this... You know I get way too attached to people. Once this is over, I’ll never see her again. I don’t know how I would handle that.

 **Chief Clod:** Alright, Dot. Fair enough. As your supervisor, I need you to focus on your case. As your best friend, I want you to find happiness.

 **Me:** I am happy.

Peridot’s phone was returned to her pocket before Jasper could even reply. The agent observed her reflection in the mirror. Her eyes showed fatigue; too many sleepless nights haunted her facade. Her skin was even beginning to turn to a pale yellow tint, a side effect of the vice she partook in. Peridot tried to pass it off as the fluorescent yellow lights in the bathroom. _‘I’m happy, right?’_

Once out of the restroom, Foster found Lapis in the mirror room, a two-way mirror on the wall that led into the interrogation room. The first thing she noticed about the officer was that she had her arms wrapped around herself. _‘She must be self-soothing,’_ the specialist moved towards her, “Not a fan of tight spaces?”

“No,” the voice was small, “not really.”

“It’s a pretty common phobia.” Peridot approached the mirror separating them and the woman in the hotbox. She was clearly larger than average, but not obese. Her feet couldn’t even touch the floor while in the chair. Her skin was tanned olive _‘Hispanic.’_ Brown roots were beginning to interrupt her pastel purple hair. The agent unlocked the Ipad on the table in front of her and Lapis, pulling up the woman’s file.

“Amethyst Rodriguez. Twenty-two. Small record crossing several different states.” She handed the device over to the officer. “She’s not the murderer.”

“Already? How can you tell?” Said officer was almost surprised that she would say that.

“Her eyes are closed. She’s avoiding eye contact, avoiding looking at the mirror. She’s nervous and uncomfortable in this situation. Our murderer is proud of what they did. They want to be found, they would be making eye contact. Also, notice how her eyebrows are down? When someone feels weak or vulnerable, their eyebrows subconsciously move down in an attempt to make your facial expression less threatening. Ah, see there.” the agent pointed, “she licked her lips just now. When you’re nervous your mouth becomes excessively dry. Lastly, her shoulders are hunched forward and her chin is tucked towards her chest. Trying to appear smaller is another subconscious reaction to a threatening situation.”

“Well, damn,” Lapis had to let out an overwhelmed breath, “Okay. So, how do you want to do this? I’ll be honest, I’ve only ever done this while at the academy.”

“She knows something, there has to be a reason she was at the house.” The specialist tapped her chin in thought. “I need to see how she reacts to pressure. Would you be interested in playing the role of bad cop?”

“Oh fuck yeah.” Lapis looked smug. She had always dreamed of playing bad cop.

After listening to a few instructions from Agent Foster, Lapis opened the door to the holding cell. She kicked the door closed behind her, startling the woman opposite to her. She gazed at the officer as closely as she could while avoiding eye contact. She was wringing her hands tightly.

Officer Lazuli slammed a stack of manilla folders onto the tabletop, causing the woman to jump. With a smirk, she held a cup of water just out of the other’s reach. “Thirsty?” The officer set the cup down where she couldn’t get it. Sitting in the chair across from Rodriguez, Lapis chuckled quietly when she didn’t respond. “Guess not. So, Amethyst Rodriguez. Twenty-two, a couple of minor crimes under your belt. Mind telling me what you’re doing in Oak Hill?”

Amethyst glanced at the folders Lapis had placed on the table. “I was here to visit a friend.”

“A friend, huh? Must’ve been a real good friend, seeing as you didn’t hold back when murdering them.”

She went pale, eyes wide. “M-murder!? ¿Cuando? ¡¿Dios es así de real!?"

“This is very real, Rodriguez.” Lapis laced venom into her words. She slid a picture of the body towards Amethyst so she could view it. “Tell me, you sick _fuck_ , why did you do it?”

The girl winced once she saw the image, turning away quickly. “That’s disgusting! I didn’t do that!”

“Bullshit, Rodriguez! You killed this poor woman, someone you called a friend, and in a manner so violent that even I felt sick. And then, just because you could, you went back to the house. You hadn’t been caught, right? You felt invincible, right!?”

“I want a lawyer.”

“You don’t _get_ a lawyer!” Lazuli smashed her palms against the metal surface of the table as she stood, forcing her seat to slide back with a loud screech. “You know what you get? A death penalty! There’s a _federal_ agent here ready to drag your sorry ass to prison! We can connect this murder to at least five across the country; you really move around don’t you? So answer me, Rodriguez! Why kill five people!?”

“I didn’t kill no one!”

“Oh, so you just happened to stumble into a crime scene!?”

"Y-yes…? Sí. Sí." Rodriguez tucked her chin in, staring into her clasped hands without purpose.

“You’re not even trying, are you Rodriguez? You should have confessed to me. I doubt an FBI agent is going to be as nice.” The officer threw the door open with her exit. Stepping into the mirror room she found the agent smirking at her with a raised eyebrow. “What?”

“Oh nothing.”

"No. Tell me," Lapis dragged out the e's as she spoke, adding a toddler-like emphasis.

“You really enjoyed that, didn’t you?”

Lapis laughed, rubbing at her neck. “Yeah… I did… I’ve always wanted to do that. Did I do good?” She moved to stand beside the woman staring into the mirror.

“Excellent. I’m proud of my protege.”

Lapis regretfully felt herself flushing. It was surprising how much the words had affected her. So many sincere compliments had been thrown her way lately, the most recent of which coming from the last person she expected it would. Pulling Peridot into a hug suddenly sounded quite appealing. _‘Proud? Protege?’_

“Lazuli, if you could please focus.”

“Right. Right. Sorry.”

“As I was saying, there’s no doubt in my mind that she is hiding something. No one just accidently walks into a house where someone was murdered. Now, can we get her to talk?”

“If I can be the bad cop again, I’m so down. That was fun.”

Peridot laughed. “I hadn’t noticed.” Pulling her wallet out of a pants pocket, the agent retrieved her badge. She fixed it to her vest as she prepared to open the door. “I always get stuck being the good cop,” she mumbled.

“We can always switch roles. I’m pretty flexible, Peri.” Lapis signed the sentence with her signature wink finger gun combo.

“After this,” the agent silently loathed her reused joked, “I’m arresting you for unlawful possession of firearms.”

“Guilty,” she shrugged with a small snort. 

Peridot straightened out her bowtie. “Alright, Rodriguez. Let’s find what you’re hiding.”

Amethyst expected the police officer when the door opened again. Instead, a small woman, not much taller than herself stepped in. She wasn't in any uniform, but there was a very intimidating piece of metal on her vest. _‘Dios! The cop said the feds were here!! I thought she was bluffing…’_

Peridot was silent as she approached the metal table. She held herself with an air of confidence that Amethyst found herself fearful of. Something about this person was scarier than the officer. Without a word spoken or glance gifted, Foster unlocked the handcuffs binding the woman’s arms. Amethyst began rubbing her wrist instantly.

“Amethyst Rodriguez. My name is Agent Foster.” Peridot took a swift seat across from her. She made eye contact with the woman, noting her immediate retreat. “I am an agent of the Federal Bureau of Investigation. Please drink.” She gestured toward the cup Lapis had denied her earlier, sliding it along.

Amethyst grabbed the cup, wasting no time emptying it. “Agent, huh? Did your parents name you that in hopes you’d grow up to be a fed? Like you had no choice?”

“No. I have a first name. Agent is a title given with my position.”

“Well, you know my first name. Thought it was only fair.” She shrugged.

“You don’t need to know my name, Amethyst Rodriguez. Agent Foster will suffice.” She pulled from her vest pocket her notebook and pen. “Humor is a fairly common defense mechanism. You’re trying to diffuse the tense situation and throw me off guard. I hate to tell you, you’ll have to try a lot harder.” Her gaze fixed upon her, cold and calculated.

Amethyst felt like she was shrinking, as no one had ever made her feel as small as this woman. “So, uh, you’re the good cop, huh?”

“Oh no, Rodriguez.” Peridot put on a smirk, beginning to look more akin to a lion staring at cornered prey than a federal agent doing her job. “I am so much more than good or bad. You see, being a specialized agent gives me all sorts of privileges. As long as I get results, the government is more than happy to clean up my messes. I can promise you that I _always_ get results. Understand?”

Amethyst gulped, nodded, and prayed. _‘I’m so fucked.’_

“Good.” Agent Foster slowly removed her REx from her holster, setting it pointedly on the table. “Don’t worry, it’s not loaded. Officer Lazuli explained the situation you’re in, correct?”

"S-sí. Yes."

“Excellent. Between you and I, I know you didn't murder anyone," Amethyst relaxed, "but I know you're hiding something from me," she tensed again, "and neither of us are leaving this room until you tell me what you know." She began writing in her book, occasionally sparing Amethyst a glance.

After several minutes minutes of this, Rodriguez felt as though she would break, “Aren’t ya going to ask me questions or something…?”

“Would you answer them honestly?”

She hesitated, “So, we’re just going to sit here?”

“Would you rather I force the answers out of you, Rodriguez? Because I know _several_ different methods which wouldn’t permanently affect you.” There was a menacing look in the agent’s eyes, one she very rarely had.

“No, I’ll talk. I’ll talk.” Peridot looked waitful, so she continued with a sigh, “Alright, look agent, I was passing through town when I heard about the murder and stuff on the radio, ‘kay? I love listening to murder podcasts and shit, and maybe I had a beer or two and wanted to see it. There was no police tape so I figured it was okay.”

"You willingly walked into an abandoned house where someone had been murdered recently?"

"Yeah… Not my best call…"

“A stroke of genius, Rodriguez. What were you looking for?"

"Nuthin."

"You're a terrible liar."

"I ain't lyin'!"

Peridot was quickly growing tired of this. “Rodriguez, I’m not an idiot. You’re exhibiting several classic tells of someone lying. Beyond that, your grammar becomes noticeably worse the more you lie and try to hide it. I really suggest that you don’t lie to me. I’d hate to hurt you.”

"I. Ain't. Lyin'." Amethyst huffed, crossing her arms like a toddler who hasn’t gotten their way.

“Alright,” Peridot inhaled, hoping to calm herself. “Amethyst Rodriguez I am charging you with tampering with a crime scene, tampering with evidence, and hindering a federal agent in their investigation. Lazuli, come in here and read her rights.”

"Woah! Woah! Wait! I didn't touch or move anything!"

“Do you think that matters to me, Rodriguez? Do you think I am incapable of falsifying reports and evidence myself? You’re keeping something from me and I don’t take that lightly.”

"Look! I just wanted to see it, yeah? I heard about it in the news, wanted to see the markings 'n shit drawn on the walls!" If every malicious look the agent had given her were scary, Amethyst found this one utterly terrifying. She had the stance of a badger ready to pounce, like she was so present she wasn’t there.

“That detail wasn’t released to the press. How did you know about that?” Peridot struggled to keep her rage boiling over.

Amethyst blanched. "I… I, uh…"

Before she could even start on the woman, the agent was interrupted by the police chief barging in. “I’m sorry Agent Foster. Her bail was just posted and unless you can charge her with anything concrete, I have to let her go.”

The agent’s eye twitched.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all are having a wonderful and amazing holidays!  
> Leave a kudo and a comment - I love comments.  
> Thank you all for reading and I hope you're enjoying the story.
> 
> Word count: 3,093


	5. The Quartic What?

[ ](https://www.flickr.com/photos/185443884@N02/49655629648/in/dateposted-public/)

“She knew about the symbols, Garnet! She knew and you let her go!”

Lapis was loitering outside Chief Adam’s office, leaning beside the door to listen in on her and Peridot. The agent had pursued the Chief out of the interrogation room, hardly capable of containing her rage. After getting Amethyst checked out of the station, Lazuli was easily able to follow the sound of Foster’s angered voice towards Adam’s office. She was similarly upset, but it didn’t affect her as much as it seemed to affect Peridot. After all, there wasn’t anything they could do about it.

“To hell with the bail! There are several things I could have charged her with! She knew something and you just let her walk out!”

Lapis sighed softly, jolted upright as the office door was thrown open. A wild head of blonde hair streaked past and the officer quickly followed it. Once the owner of the head arrived in the conference room, she began pacing in short, quick rounds. Enraged, incoherent mumbles left her often.

“Agent Foster?” Lapis tread lightly, not sure how volatile Agent Foster was.

She didn’t get a response, trying again with what she could only hope was more confidence, “Peridot?”

Peridot’s pace had quickened, but still no reaction

“Peri?”

“What!?” The angry woman’s steps ceased, she turned to glare at the intruder of her thoughts. Her gaze softened quickly, holding her hands up placidly. “Sorry. I’m sorry, Lazuli. I didn’t mean to snap at you.” She sank into one of the uncomfortable chairs that lined the room.

“It’s okay, Peri. I’m upset too.” Lapis closed the conference room door before she joined Peridot at the table. “But, she was bailed out and we couldn’t couldn't really charge her with anything. The law is the law, even if it’s stupid sometimes.”

“I know.” Peridot’s signature nose pinch was imminent. “She knew something though, Lazuli. The details of the symbols hadn’t been released to the press yet, yet she knew about them.”

“You said you don’t think she’s the murderer though.”

“No. She’s most definitely not. But to know that information she has to be connected in some way.”

“Yeah. It’s really fishy. Like a fish market under the summer sun.”

“Fish,” Peridot laughed quietly, she was normally so good at hiding the exhaustion that plagued her, yet it her eyes felt heavier than they did moments ago. She subconsciously rubbed her suddenly aching knee. “I’ve never liked fish.”

“To eat or look at?”

“Both. The taste is not palatable and they do nothing but swim.”

“You’re talking to a native Hawaiian here. I’ll cook you some fish that’ll knock your socks off. And I’m guessing you’ve never seen fish in the wild. It’s completely different than looking at them in an aquarium.”

“I’m sure you had all of your classes under the ocean, miss native Hawaiian.”

“That would’ve been a dream… But no. I had school in buildings like normal people. I did skip school a lot to go surfing though. Especially math class. I hate math.”

“I enjoy math.” Peridot smiled.

“Somehow, that doesn’t surprise me. You reek of nerd.”

“You’re one to talk, Lazuli. Blue hair, carefree attitude, and tattoos. Art was your favorite subject.”

“Yeah,” Lapis chuckled, “you got me there. I was going to go to school for it, but I found doing it for a living took all the fun out of it. How can you like math though?”

Peridot placed her head in her hand, elbow resting on the table. Her thoughtful gaze shifted towards a window. "Math helps me make sense of the world. Almost everything in this world can be explained in a math equation. Math is the very language of creation. It's," sometimes finding the right word is difficult, "reassuring in a chaotic world. I find it very comforting.”

“Hmm,” Officer Lazuli was in awe at the picture before her. The sun was hitting the agent's green eyes, causing them to shine brilliantly. _‘Her eyes are so beautiful… She’s so…’_

“Lazuli. You’re staring again.”

“Sorry, I’m sorry. I don’t mean to, Peri. You’re just… very beautiful.” She stumbled over her words as they left her.

“I’m flattered, Lazuli, I really am. You’re attractive as well. But, we have a murderer to find, a violent one at that. We need to stay focused on this case. I apologize for being a realist, but once my job here is done I will be gone. I will return to D.C. and it’s very unlikely we will ever meet again.”

A sad smile came across her face, “Yeah. You’re right. Friends?” Lapis held her hand out.

Peridot nodded, taking the other’s hand for a shake. “Friends.”

Lapis stood when they parted, forcing herself to sound happy. “Coffee. I need coffee. Do you want anything?”

“No, thank you.” Peridot’s eyes found the window again. “Take your time, but don’t be too long.”

“I’ll try not too,” Lapis left the room in an unknown hurry. But why was she upset over this? They had known one another for three days at the most. She couldn’t deny that it felt like something in her head was pushing her towards the calculating little devil. _‘Love at first sight is a joke… What is this then? Why do I feel like I’ve known her forever? She’s right though… I need to focus on this case. Is love at first sight real?’_

Officer Bismuth lounging in the break room when Lazuli arrived. Bismuth recognized the distressed facade of her friend “Uh oh, Blue. They run out of your favorite coffee at Oaky Bean?”

“No.” Lapis retrieved a mug from the cupboard above their coffee pot.

“Alright, now I’m real worried. Talk to me, hun.”

“It’s silly…” Coffee would help, she was sure.

“Hush now. Talk to me.” Bismuth guided her to the table across the room. Once they were both seated, she flashed Lapis an expectant look.

Lapis stared down into her coffee, drinking it has become a later slot in her to-do list. “Have you ever met someone and felt like you’ve always known them?”

“Once. This about the fed?”

“Yeah. It’s weird, really weird. I can’t quite process it. She’s way attractive, not gonna lie, but it’s more than that. She’s funny, sarcastic, and way smart. I want to get to know her better. I haven’t felt this way since Mala…”

“Well, what’s stopping you?”

“We’re investigating a murder, for one, and she made a very good point-”

“You talked to her about this? Oh, baby girl…”

“She caught me staring, Bis.... Once this is over, she’ll go back and I’ll never see her again. So, why put myself in a position that’ll hurt me?”

“There’s ways around that, Blue. Long distance relationships aren’t easy, but if you really feel this way I say give it a try.”

“I dunno…” Lapis sighed, reaching to tighten her ponytail as she stood. “I should get back. Thanks for listening.”

“Anytime, Blue.” Officer Bismuth looked at the full coffee mug. “She didn’t even take a sip… Now I’m really worried.”

Lapis returned to the conference room to find the source of her confusion slouched in a chair. Her eyes were screwed shut, the nose pinch having returned.

"Yes, Chief. I understand my actions were unacceptable and unprofessional. I'll apologize to Chief Adams immediately." She went silent for a moment, "Are you sure there's nothing we can do? She knew information about the murder that hasn't been released to the press. No, I don't believe she is the murderer."

Lapis sat as quietly she could, hoping not to cause a disturbance. _‘She seems upset.’_ The officer saw a pile of papers beside Peridot, picking a few out to look through them. She stopped on a photo of the symbol on the crime scene wall. She wished she understood them more, so she could help with the investigation.

“Alright. I’ll behave, Jasper. I’m sorry. Yeah, I’ll call you tonight. Bye.” Peridot haphazardly slid her phone onto the table.

“Your chief seems pleasant.”

Peridot rubbed her eyes with a small shrug. “She acts tough, but she has a big heart. We actually grew up together, stayed together quite a bit in foster homes too. She actually started out by bullying me, pretty relentlessly too. When someone else started to bully me as well, she got a little possessive. I remember her yelling at the boy to leave her nerd alone. She protected me and we ended up becoming best friends. She’s tough on me because she cares.”

“That’s actually pretty cute.” Lapis smiled. _‘Foster homes? She’s an orphan? Is it wrong to ask about that?’_

“I suppose so.” Peridot sat up straight, popping her back with a faint crack. “What do you see in those symbols?”

“Scribbles. I have no idea what they mean though. But if you look here,” she placed a finger on the photo to elaborate, “where the x meets in the middle, with the double lines, it makes a diamond. That doesn’t seem like an accident.”

“Diamond. Diamond?” Peridot’s eyes went wide with realization shot out of her chair, sprinting towards the whiteboard on the other side of the room. “Diamond!!” She snatched a marker from the tray and began writing frantically, her hand almost failing to keep up with her thoughts.

Lapis watched on eager to see what she would come up with, the agent’s excitement was ever contagious. It was quickly cured when Lapis saw several complex equations start to fill the board. “Why is it always math,” she groaned.

“Math explains the universe, Lazuli.”

“And now it explains a murder?”

“Yes and no.” Peridot stepped away from the whiteboard, hand rising to her chin thoughtfully.

“Are you going to explain this to me, Peri?” Lapis teased.

“I suppose I must,” her voice was equally as teasing, “This x looks exactly like a graphed form of this mathematical equation of a diamond.” She pointed to one of the shorter equations on the board. “The writing on the side of matches perfectly to the formula when written out.”

“But the other one is different, right?”

“Yes. Following the same pattern of letters and symbols, the other side is another mathematical equation. I’m far more interested in this one though.”

“Why’s that?”

“It’s a quartic curve.”

“Is that english?”

Peridot laughed, embarrassment flushed the blue haired woman’s cheeks. “Yes. It is. To put it simply, a quartic curve is a diamond shaped curve where the edges extend to infinity. There is no limit to its size.”

“So, like, diamonds are forever? Like those engagement ring ads?”

“When talking about the gemstone, yes. Well, technically no. Diamonds are not rare and are easier to break than you would think. The rarity and importance of diamonds was set up as an elaborate marketing scheme that has now become part of our culture. But, I’m getting off topic. Diamonds as a gemstone and diamonds in math, more correctly a rhombus, are very different. Right now, we only have reason to believe that the killer is referring to the rhombus.”

“Yeah, but diamonds have more meaning than just math, Peri. The cultural significance of diamonds isn’t something we should look over. That and the healing properties of crystals is becoming quite the fad.”

“True, very true, Lazuli. You continue to impress me.” She plopped herself into the chair again, pulling her laptop from her bag. “Side note, do you believe that rocks have healing properties?”

“What if I do?”

“I would leave this room and never return.”

“No,” Lapis chortled. “No. I don’t.”

“Glad to hear it.” Peridot pulled up a quick Google search on diamonds. “Diamonds… Diamonds… Ah! Here we are. Diamonds bring love, relieve stress, treat dizziness, counteracts poison,” she made a point to scoff, then froze on a result shortly after, “Lazuli.”

“What’d you find?”

“Diamonds, specifically blue diamonds, are supposed to help your throat chakra.”

“What’s a chakra?”

“Lazuli, besides the legs what was taken from the victim?” Peridot didn't acknowledge the question.

“The vocal cords oH MY GOD, PERI! The vocal cords! Diamonds and the throat chakra!”

Peridot nearly fell from her chair when her phone rang. She answered immediately, recognising the ringtone for her chief’s number. “I haven't apologized yet, Jasper. I have-”

“Dot, there’s another murder connected to this one.”

“Oh? Oh.” Foster exited the conference room, holding a finger to Lapis. “Where?”

“A place called Beach City. It's a few states away.”

“How do they know it’s connected?”

“The body was cut in the same way and the symbols are the same.”

Peridot was quiet momentarily, processing the new information. “When do I need to leave?”

“Tomorrow at the latest. Will that give you enough time to finish up in Oak Hill?”

“Yeah. Yeah. Jasper… Can I call you back once at the hotel?”

“Of course. What’s wrong, Dot?”

“Nothing, nothing. I’ll call you back.” Peridot hung up and began gathering her belongings. “I have to run, Lazuli. I apologize.”

“Oh. Everything okay?”

“Yes.” Without another word, she left.

Once she arrived at her hotel and collected her thoughts again, the agent called Jasper back.

"Valez."

"Hey, Jasp. I have an odd request."

"Alright, shoot." Jasper's voice softened just slightly.

"I want to take Officer Lazuli with me to Beach City."

"Lazuli… She the one that calls you Peri?"

"Yes." Peridot was glad Jasper wasn't able to see any heat obvious on her face.

"Tell me why."

"She's smart, Jasper. She has a ton of potential and has already been a huge asset to me in this case."

"And?"

"I enjoy her company?"

"Dot, silly little Dot. For someone so smart, you can be an idiot. This is completely out of character for you."

"No, Jasper, it isn't like that." She pinched the bridge of her nose. It was clearly not like that. "Our relationship and my feelings towards her are completely professional."

"Why are you fighting it, Dot? It's been three years. I want to see you happy again."

"Finding love, finding a relationship again, isn't going to make me happy!" She snapped.

"You know it wasn't your fault, Dot. You couldn't have known-"

"I really don't want to talk about this right now."

"You never do. But you need to. It's been three years and you're still blaming yourself for her death."

"Jasper, please… not now," Peridot wiped her eyes with a thumb. She hated crying. "Can I bring Lazuli or not?"

Jasper sighed, long, loud, and dramatic. "I'll see what I can do. But only if you promise me that you won't fight any feelings that come."

"I… I can't promise that, Jasp. She'll just end up getting hurt…"

"You don't know that. And for the millionth time, it wasn't your fault."

"I was driving," she sounded small.

"And that car hit you, you didn't hit them."

"I don't think I'm ready, Jasp…"

"Okay, okay. But just, let yourself feel, yeah? You bottle everything up so much. Just try and feel again."

"Okay. I'll try."

"Good. Let me see what I can do about getting her to go with you."

"Thank you. For everything, Jasp. You're always there for me."

"And I always will be, Dot."

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dart here, after a long winter hiatus, Draconly and I are back to posting weekly! It's their birthday today, so I decided to post for them. This chapter is the first of many cheesy chapters we all have to look forward to in 2020. Happy New Year, love ya, mean it. (◠‿・)—☆
> 
> Did a few edits, mostly to keep consistancy throughout the chapters. Dart is awesome for posting this. Peace. - Draconly


	6. Agent Lazuli, Temporary

[](https://www.flickr.com/photos/185443884@N02/49655629648/in/dateposted-public/)

It had been two days since Agent Foster had left in a hurry. Lapis still wasn’t entirely sure what had happened. The expression on her face wasn’t readable no matter how hard Lapis had tried. The first day without the agent, Lapis was admittedly sad. She was growing very fond of the little fed and enjoyed her company. On the second day Lapis was trying to make herself understand that she would never see Agent O. Peridot Foster again. It was harder than it should have been.  _ ‘This is fucking ridiculous. I barely knew her. Why the hell am I so upset over this?’ _

Chief Adams had given Lapis those two days off as a sort of “thank you” for helping the federal agent while she was investigating. Lapis had hoped to use those two days to sleep but hope is a fragile thing often shattered before found. The nightmares still haunted her and they seemed to be getting worse. No matter when, no matter where, she slept they found her. She was having a harder and harder time waking from them as well. When she was able to wake, she found herself in a panic so primal she almost got up and ran several times.

Lapis found herself completely exhausted on a Friday morning an hour before she was due back at work. A hot shower had helped a little, but not enough judging by the bags under her eyes.  _ ‘What did Peri say about that? Blood flow to the brain or something… I bet she would have some ideas to help me sleep. I should’ve gotten her number.’  _ She pulled at the skin under her eyes wishing for the darkness to disappear. As much as she wanted another day off there would be no point. She couldn’t sleep anyway and filing reports was better than sitting at home staring at a tv.

She arrived at the station a few minutes before her shift, coffee in hand. The coffee remained untouched in her hand, however, a sour feeling in her stomach. She took a deep breath to steady her nerves before stepping into the station.

“Hey Lapis!” Doc waved at her from the front desk. She had been given the nickname due to the fact that she worked for a number of years as an EMT before this job.

“Hey, Doc.” Lapis put on her best smile and prayed her makeup was doing its job.

“So Chief and the FBI are waiting for you in her office. She told me to tell you that it’s very urgent so go right to her when you get in.”

“FBI? Agent Foster?” Lapis’ mood perked up at the thought of seeing Peridot again.

“If that’s the one who was here ‘few days ago, yes.”

“Thanks, Doc.” Lapis hurried into the heart of the station. She hesitated for a moment, not entirely sure what was stopping her, before knocking on the door to the Chief’s office. After she was given permission to enter, she opened the door and stepped inside. Her heart leapt into her throat at the sight of the blonde hair. Though it was just the back of her head, there was no mistaking the wild locks.

“Please sit, Lapis. We have something we would like to discuss.” Garnet was sitting at her desk, donning her usual stoic expression.

“Okay,” Her voice was apprehensive. She wasn’t sure what to expect. Still, she sat in the chair besides the agent. Peridot gave her a small, almost shy smile that quickly faded into a look of concern. _‘She reads me like a book…’_

“You’re not in trouble Lapis, don’t worry. Agent Foster has something she would like to discuss with you.”

“Oh.” Lapis shifted in her seat to face Peridot at a more natural angle.

“Ah-hem,” Peridot cleared her throat. “Lazuli. Your help while working on this case has been surprisingly invaluable. Your insights were brilliant and I see a lot of potential in you. There has been another murder that is linked to this one, very possibly the same killer.”

“So, why are you here not there?”

“I have an offer, if you’ll take it.” Peridot reached into her coat pocket and pulled out a badge, an FBI badge with Lazuli on it. “I would like you to come with me. It would be temporary, of course, but I believe it will be of great benefit to us both. I haven’t had a partner in a few years and the way this case is shaping up, I have a feeling that I’ll need one. Bismuth also mentioned to me that you had thought about becoming an agent yourself. What better experience than working with one? Of course, you’re not obligated to stay with me for the entire case.”

Lapis stared at the badge being held out to her. She wasn’t sure what to think or what to say.

“I’ve spoken to Agent Foster’s chief about this and she was very willing and happy to allow you to accompany Agent Foster. I approve as well. We will miss you here, but you shouldn’t pass up this opportunity, Kawai.” Garnet sensed her apprehension and spoke up in hopes to ease any worry.

“Can… Can I talk to Agent Foster alone?” Her voice was small and the confidence it normally held was gone.

“Of course,” Garnet stood. “Take all the time you need.” She left her office, patting Lapis’ shoulder on her way out.

The door closed and Peridot burst into another tangent, “Lazuli, I know this is extremely sudden and out of the blue, quite frankly but I was being honest when-“

“How do you sleep?”

“Eh, what?”

“How do you sleep at night, Peri? I’ve only seen one murder scene and I can’t sleep. You’ve probably seen hundreds…”

Peridot frowned.  _ ‘She’s not doing well at all. Hugging yourself is a classic subconscious self-soothing action. Her legs are so tense as well, fight or flight mode. Ready for flight I assume. She doesn’t seem like the fighting type. She’s very dehydrated as well. I’m surprised her lips aren’t bleeding with how much she’s chewing on them. Can I do this to her? Can I really bring her with me only to find more nightmares?’  _ She ran a hand through her hair.

“It’s hard,” she admitted. Her tone of voice had shifted; the stoic air of confidence was gone, replaced by a tired woman who had seen too much death. “I don’t really sleep much… Compartmentalizing helps and it’s a skill I can teach you. But, in all honesty, I just drink. Whiskey numbs my brain when it won’t stop. Half a bottle and I can usually sleep. But, that's mostly on the weekends or when I have time off. My work keeps me busy enough to not sleep. I'll nap, but rarely sleep when working."

"How do you do it?"

Peridot met her gaze, the conviction and strength returning to her voice. “The reward is worth it to me. Finally catching the sick bastard who felt they had the right to take innocent life behind bars is the only drive I need to keep going.” She felt herself sinking deeply into two pools of blue as she spoke, the officer meeting her gaze. “I won’t lie to you, Lazuli. This won’t be easy. I’ve already seen the crime scene photos and this one is worse. But I can promise you that I will be by your side for all of it. I’ve seen it all before and I can help you cope. I won’t stop you anytime you want to leave either. This is an opportunity for experience for you, not a requirement like it is for me.”

“If I go, will you teach me about that compartmentalizing thing?” Lapis found great comfort in her words but found more in the agent’s eyes. She was learning that Peridot held all of her emotions in her eyes. The conviction, sincerity, and honesty held in the green eyes was enough to make her feel like they could take on the world together.

“Absolutely, Lazuli.”

Lapis reached out and finally took the badge. She admired the shine and ran slender fingers over the letters of her name. “Agent Lazuli…”

“Temporary agent.”

“Don’t ruin the moment, Peri.”

“Heh, sorry.” Peridot rubbed the back of her neck. “I have a bad habit of speaking without thinking.”

“Really? I hadn’t noticed.”

Peridot laughed softly. She stood and offered a hand. “Need help packing,  _ partner _ ?”

Lapis grinned at the other. Her heart soared as she grabbed the agent’s- no- her partner’s hand. “Please. I have no idea what to bring.” She stood with Peridot’s help.

“I can definitely help with that.” Peridot let her hand go only to gently grab her shoulder. “Thank you, Lazuli. I mean it. I enjoy working with you and I have a feeling you will continue to surprise me.” She let her hand slide down to Lapis’ bicep, a small smile on her lips, before stepping away towards the door. Jasper’s words rang in her ears,  _ ‘Let yourself feel. I can do that, right? I feel… happy. Happy that Lazuli is coming with me.’ _

Lapis’ breath was caught in her throat and her skin burned where the hand had been moments ago. “Y-yeah, same,” was all she managed to get out.  _ ‘Holy fuck what was that?’ _

It didn’t take long to pack and soon they were being dropped off at the airport by Bismuth. Peridot had gone inside to find out where their airplane was while the two officers got the bags. The moment Lapis closed the trunk of the car she was pulled into a very tight hug.

“Bis! I can’t breathe!”

“I’m worried about you, Blue. You’re going where I can’t keep you safe.”

“I really can’t breathe!”

Bismuth loosened her grip but didn't let go. “You sure you’ll be okay with Tiny? What about your sleep. You said that your nightmares are getting worse.”

Lapis laughed softly, “Don’t worry  _ mom. _ I’ll be fine. Peri says she has some ways to help me cope and sleep.”

“You’ll call me every night?”

“If she’s available.” Peridot walked over to them.

“And what exactly does  _ that _ mean, Tiny?” Bismuth let Lapis go to put her hands on her hips.

“Tiny?” Peridot wrinkled her nose. Then it hit her and a bright blush colored her cheeks. “Nothing like that, Bismuth! Purely professional!”

Lapis laughed. “Alright, Bis. Thanks for driving us.”

“Be safe, Blue!” Bismuth called to her as she walked away.

Lapis was surprised to be led onto a private jet. She walked up the stairs with a look of wonder on her face. The interior was just as fancy as she could have imagined and she quickly sank into one of the chairs. “This is amazing.”

“Is it? I suppose I’m used to it.” Peridot sat across from her. She took her laptop from her bag and set it on the table that was between them. “We’re going to Beach City in the Delmarva peninsula.”

“Beach City? Chief Adams moved from there. Said her son was getting bullied.”

“Really? I didn’t know she had a son.”

“Yeah. She adopted him. He’s a sweet kid.”

“Interesting…”

“This is your pilot speaking. Please prepare for takeoff.”

Peridot and Lapis buckled themselves in. It didn’t take long before they were in the air and Lapis’ head was bobbing. Peridot noticed the moment she started blinking more rapidly, trying to fight off the sleep. This wouldn’t do. She needed her partner to be well rested and alert. She stood and switched seats, sitting next to the dozing Lapis.

Lapis was startled when she felt someone sit next to her. She looked at Peridot, a bit of confusion on her face. “Hey, Peri.”

“You need to sleep. No protesting. I’ll stay right here. It’s just me and you back here. The pilots can’t hear us if you wake in a panic. Just us, okay?”

Lapis looked away, chewing on her bottom lip as she debated with herself.

“Lapis,” her heart did a somersault, “I’ll be right here. Do you trust me?”

“Yeah. I do.” She looked into the green eyes carefully studying her, a feeling she was getting used to.  _ ‘Oh god… she called me Lapis…’ _

Peridot lifted the armrest between their seats out of the way before putting an arm around Lapis’ shoulders. Ignoring the blush on the other’s face and fighting her own she carefully guided Lapis’ head to her chest. “Focus on my heartbeat. Block everything else out. Count the beats if it helps.”

Lapis relaxed into the smaller woman after only a few moments. The heartbeat was steady in her ear and rather comforting. As she fell asleep she slipped her arms around Peridot’s waist and snuggle up close.

Peridot watched her sleep, fighting back the demons in her mind, trying to let herself feel.  _ ‘She’s beautiful… She’ll end up like her… I don’t know that. But I hurt everyone who gets close to me. Let myself feel... What do I feel right now? The need to protect… comfort… Happy? Content? I don’t know…’  _ Analyzing criminals was a lot easier than analyzing herself.

Much to Peridot’s relief, Lapis slept for the remainder of the four hour flight. Much to Peridot’s surprise, she felt herself dozing off several times as well. Though, true to form, she never actually slept. Once they exited the plane and found the rental car Lapis noticed Peridot frozen with an intense gaze at the driver’s seat. “You okay, Peri?”

“Huh? Yes. I’m fine. Would you be okay with driving?”

“Yeah. I don’t mind. Are sure you’re okay?” Lapis tossed her back into the trunk.

“I don’t like driving. Bad experience.” Peridot set her bag in as well.

“One day, I’ll find out more about you than just cryptic answers.”

“You must reach a friendship level of four or more to unlock my tragic backstory.” Peridot tried to come off as joking but Lapis could hear the pain and truth in her voice.

“What level am I at?” Lapis got in the driver's seat.

“One.” Peridot winked at her with that trademark grin as she got in.

“Rude!” Lapis laughed. 

***

After a few quick introductions at the police station, they were taken right away to the high school where the murder had taken place. Lapis was visibly disturbed when she learned that the victim was a high school student. Having a life taken away without it ever really beginning was worse in her mind than the first murder. She felt guilty for thinking that as well; all life was precious. She was mentally preparing herself for the crime scene while Peridot spoke to the local detective assigned to the case. It wasn’t until her name was said for a fifth time that she snapped back to reality.

“Agent Lazuli?”

“Yes? Yes. Sorry.”

“It’s alright,” Peridot could see she was uncomfortable. “Are you ready to investigate? It will just be the two of us. The body has already been removed.” She held the door open to the school for her partner.

“I’m ready,” she told more to herself than Peridot. She stepped inside the school. “I hate school…”

“At least you’re not coming back for actual classes.”

“I don’t know what I would prefer at this point…”

Peridot put a hand on her shoulder as they walked side by side. “You don’t have to do this. I’m not forcing you to.”

Lapis relaxed under her touch, the gentle pressure calming her nerves. “I know. I want to do this.”

“Aright. I have every confidence in you, Lapis.” Peridot opened the door to the high school’s gym. She stepped in first. “Pictures never do the violence justice.”

Lapis felt sick to her stomach at what she saw. “Fuck… That’s a lot of blood…”

“Hmm,” Peridot was already lost in her own mind. She walked across the floor of the gym to where a large X was painted in blood on the floor. The symbol was the exact same as the one from the first crime scene, the double lines forming the diamond in the middle. In place of the actual body the CSI team had left tape marks to show where the pieces had been left around the X. Instead of the torso, the upper half of the body had been taken this time, including the head. Below the X were the same written symbols, some of them Peridot recognized but most of them were new. She pulled her notebook from her coat pocket only to have her thoughts interrupted by a familiar voice, a voice that felt like claws running down her spine. She didn’t need to look to see who it belonged to.

“Fancy meeting you here, Agent Foster.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! Hope you like this chapter! Leave a comment and a kudo. I really do love comments. Thank you all for reading. - Draconly


	7. Old Rivalries

[ ](https://www.flickr.com/photos/185443884@N02/49655629648/in/dateposted-public/)

Peridot spun on her heel to face the source of the interruption. “Agent Rogers,” she hissed through her gritted teeth. “What are you doing here?” The agent was too focused glaring daggers at the willowy woman before her to notice a familiar face accompanying her.

“Investigating a murder. Same as you.”

“Oh? I thought the CIA was _too important_ to work on American soil.”

“Obviously I’m here because this murder is similar to a few I’ve been investigting outside of America. I thought the FBI employed intelligent people.”

“I _am_ intelligent!”

“Of course you are.”

Lapis didn’t have any clue what was happening. Another agent, seemingly CIA from the conversation, was talking to Peridot as if she had known her for years. She was watching the argument intently until her focus was broken by the agent’s partner motioning her over. _‘Amethyst Rodgriguez?’_

Amethyst led her away from the bickering . “Yeah… Sorry about them.”

“What are you doing here?”

“Oh! I’m CIA, right?” Amethyst flashed a badge. “Pearl is my partner.”

“So, why didn’t you say anything in Oak Hill?”

“And blow my cover? Yeah right. Pearl would never let me hear the end of it. She was already pissed that I got caught.”

“Uh huh… Okay… So, what’s up with them?” She pointed a thumb at the other two.

“I don’t know much about them, but the CIA and FBI have a bit of rivalry. Don’t think that’s their entire problem though. Pearl didn’t tell me much other than Agent Foster is a “rock in her shoe” as she put it.”

“I hope your coin collection turns to rust!”

Pearl gasped, pointing an accusatory finger back at the specialist. “You take that back! That is my prized collection worth more than you’ll ever be!”

“Dios…” Amethyst rubbed her temples. “Shut it, the both of you!”

“She’s right, Peridot. We’re here to solve a murder.”

Pearl and Peridot both huffed and crossed their arms over their chests in unison.

“Alright, Agent _Foster._ I will behave civilly as long as you do.”

Peridot grumbled under her breath before responding, “Fine, Agent _Rogers_. We can cooperate for the time being. Just remember, American soil is FBI territory.”

“Oh, I’ll remember with you reminding me every five minutes.”

Peridot went to bite back, but Amethyst spoke before it could happen, "Come on P,” she gently took hold of Pearl’s arm, “they were here first so we’ll let them investigate first.” The lady started towards the school hallway, dragging a glaring CIA agent with her.

“So…”

“Later, Lazuli.” Peridot pinched the bridge of her nose. She cleared her head with a breath, opening her notebook again. “Alright. Focus,” she muttered. “Tell me what you see.”

Lapis shifted her attention to the scene. “So, first off, it's the same x from before. You said that’s what it looks like when you graph a diamond in math. The diamond must be important to the killer for them to draw it twice.”

“Diamonds have a lot of symbolism and meaning to people and society as a whole. As to why the imagery of a diamond is so important to the killer I am unsure. There are several possibilities but nothing concrete yet.”

“Yeah... Oh! You know how the vocal cords were missing with the last victim? That was the throat cracker or whatever?”

“Chakra. Smart thinking.” Peridot reached into her pants pocket, “Let’s see,” she began scrolling through her phone for a moment, eyes moving rapidly across the screen. “Interesting… The white diamond is for crown chakra. With the victim's head missing, this theory is gaining more credibility. We’ll need to look into it more. What else are you seeing?”

“Some of these symbols look like the same ones.” Lapis carefully walked over to the symbols written below the x. She pointed down at them. “But it’s a different layout than the ones that turned out to be the math equations. It almost looks more like a couple of sentences, the way it’s structured.”

“My thoughts exactly. A few of those are definitely the same. I don’t have enough to completely decipher the code though. I might need to call in a few favors at HQ…”

“You mean to tell me that you can’t figure this out yourself?” Lapis teased.

Peridot’s brow raised. “Linguistics isn’t my thing. I’m better with numbers and the enigma of the inner workings of the human mind.”

“How do you manage to make that sound so creepy?”

Peridot shrugged, almost smirking. “Is there anything else you’re seeing?”

“No, but I feel like you’re looking for something specific.”

“Seven percent of the weight of a human body comes from the blood flowing throughout. I’m going to guess that the victim weighed one hundred twenty pounds and seven percent of that would be eight point four pounds. Convert that to liters and we get three point nine, rounding up of course.”

“What are you getting at?”

“I’ll convert liters to gallons, to help you see my point. Four liters is a bit more than a gallon. My estimation is that it took a quart, maybe two, to draw these symbols out. I don’t believe you’ve had the opportunity to read the autopsy report, but the cause of death was exsanguination, or bleeding out to death. My concern here is, where is the rest of the blood?”

Lapis went into thought, trying to sort the information she had just recieved. “Maybe the victim wasn’t killed here?”

“Very possible. Or, the killer took the blood as well.”

“That’s a fucking weird thing to do.”

“So is being a serial killer.”

“I love that sarcasm.” Lapis laughed softly. “Okay, but why would they do that?”

“There are several possibilities.” Agent Foster began counting on her fingers, "Drinking it, bathing in it, using it at other murder scenes, selling it on the black market, delivering--”

“Okay, okay, I get it. What does this all mean?”

“It means this case is getting interesting.”

Pearl burst through the gym doors unceremoniously, her partner was situated behind her with a tired look on her face. “Alright Foster, your time is up. I do hope you haven’t tampered with anything.”

“And why would I do that, Rogers?” Peridot spat. “Despite my intense feelings of loathing towards you as a person, I want to solve this case just as much as you.”

“One can never be too careful.” Pearl stuck her nose in the air.

“Pearl I swear-”

“Nope! It’s their turn, Peri. C’mon. I think we got everything we need.” Lapis grabbed Peridot’s hand without really thinking, causing the shorter woman to go silent and follow her out of the gym. Once they arrived at the car, Lapis decided to confront Peridot. “Alright. What the hell was that?”

“What?” Peridot blinked at her a few times.

“You and that other agent, what was that?”

Peridot scowled at the mention of Pearl. “She thinks she’s better than me.”

“That’s it?” Lapis put her hands on her hips.

“No.”

“Are you going to tell me?”

“Not right now. I need to focus and if I start telling you, I might go into an unstoppable tangent of rage.”

Lapis rolled her eyes. “You’re a dork.”

“So I’ve been told.” Peridot slid into the passenger seat of their ride. “Can you drive to the station? I need to call Jasper.”

“Yeah. Sure.”

Peridot situated herself and rang her chief’s number.

“Hey, Dot. Everything okay?”

“No. CIA is here.”

“What? Why? It’s Rogers, isn’t it? I can hear it in your voice. Please don’t have an aneurysm.” 

“It’s her, alright. She said this case is similar to some she’s seen off soil.”

“That… complicates things. I’ll call her superior,” Peridot could hear how tired she sounded at just the thought of that, “since I’ve got you on the phone, there was a problem with the hotel. The two rooms I booked you are no longer available so I had to move you two to a single room with two beds.”

“You’re lying.” Peridot could feel the beginnings of a migraine. Between this stunt and Agent Rogers, it seemed the universe was playing darts with her ‘well fuck _me_ , then’ board again.

“I am not.”

“Jasper, I’ve known you since I was eight. Your voice gets higher pitched when you’re lying.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about. I have to go though. I’ll let you know as soon as I hear back from Rogers’ Chief.”

Peridot’s grip on her phone threatened to shatter it. Lapis noticed her knuckles were pale. “Everything okay, Peri?”

“No... No. Today the universe has decided to test my last string of patience. I’m naming you as my successor if I perish.”

“Alright, drama queen. Besides Agent Rogers, what happened?”

“We have to share a room at the hotel.”

“And that’s… bad…?” Lapis tried to hide the bit of rejection in her voice.

“Yes. I drink and don’t sleep. I don’t want to disturb your sleep.”

“I’ll be okay, promise.” Lapis found herself strangely relieved that Peridot wasn’t actually opposed to sharing a room, but was concerned that she got her sleep. It was a sweet sentiment, in a very Agent Foster sort of way. She was beginning to understand her new partner. She was kind in her own subtle way.

***

They had been working at the police station for a few hours when Agents Rogers and Rodriguez made their way into the office they were given to work. Peridot looked up from her spot at the desk, a large pile of crumpled papers surrounding her, and scowled. “Rogers,” she paused a moment, a bit of shock taking over. “Rod-Rodriguez?”

“You finally noticed me, P-dot. I’m with Pearl. Agent Rodriguez, CIA.”

“Of course.” Peridot pinched the bridge of her nose. Lapis could see the exhaustion in her eyes and she had to fight the urge to hug and comfort her. It wouldn’t be appropriate given the current company and situation. “How can we help you?”

“Surprisingly civil, Foster.” Pearl sat on one of the chairs in the office, her knees together and ankles crossed neatly to the side. She straightened her blouse before looking at Peridot. Amethyst sat less than gracefully next to her.

“Don’t test me,” Peridot’s eye twitched. “I won’t ask again. How can we help you?”

“Your superior has called my superior and we are working on this case together now. Given the unusual circumstances, we have been approved to work as a joint agency team.”

“Fantastic,” Periot spoke through her teeth.

“So Officer Lazuli!” Amethyst spoke, trying to break the tension in the small office. “How’d you get here?”

“Oh, um, well Pe- Agent Foster was impressed with my work in Oak Hill so she got me a temporary badge so I could come along to help more and learn.”

“It’s only been three years, Foster. Are you sure you’re ready for another partner?” Pearl’s lips tugged into a small smirk, she knew what buttons she was pushing.

Peridot went stiff. Her grip on the pencil she was holding was nearly enough to make it snap. “Yes.”

“Oh good. You’ve seemed so lonely. Just make sure you drive, Lazuli.”

The pencil snapped, the sound of it loud in the small room. Peridot stood abruptly and stormed out of the office. Lapis jumped up to follow, immediately concerned for her partner. On her way out she heard Amethyst chastising her partner, but that wasn’t her first priority. Peridot left the station with no indication of stopping.

“Peridot!” Lapis called out as she caught up. “Peri! What’s wrong?”

Peridot stopped with her back to her. “S-sorry. She can be an ass.”

“Yeah, no shit. You sound like you’re crying… Peri, can I help?”

Peridot dried her eyes before turning around. She looked up into the calming blue eyes across from her. “I’m okay.”

Lapis frowned. “Okay. I won’t push, but this is really new for me. I never expected to see you crying-”

“I wasn’t crying.”

“And I want to help if I can,” she continued, ignoring the interjection. “You never judged me so I won’t judge you.”

Peridot smiled, a deep rooted pain behind the gesture. “Thanks. I do appreciate that. But, it’s not something you need to know about me in order to work effectively in this case.”

“Peri,” Lapis sighed loudly, throwing her head back and rolling her eyes, “I don’t want to know because I think it’ll help us with the case, God. You’re upset and I consider us friends now so I want to help with that.”

“Oh. I suppose I misread the situation.”

“God, you’re such a dork, Peri.” Lapis smiled at her. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

Peridot nodded, a fire burning in her eyes once again. “Yes. I won’t let her get under my skin. Let’s solve this case before she does.” She thrust her hand up, palm open, waiting for a high five.

Lapis laughed and the immaturity of it but gave her a high five. “Fuck yeah.”

[](https://www.flickr.com/photos/185443884@N02/49453344716/in/dateposted-public/)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not at home when uploading this chapter, so I will get a higher quality version of the log book when I am able. Hope you guys enjoy this chapter! Leave a comment, I do love comments. Happy reading!
> 
> Edit 06 Feb 2020: Finally had a chance to re upload the log book. Added a bit more for fun as well. ;)


	8. Teamwork

[ ](https://www.flickr.com/photos/185443884@N02/49655629648/in/dateposted-public/)

Upon returning to the office, the four agents were informed that the parents of the victim were willing to talk to two of them, but only two. This of course got Pearl and Peridot into another very animated argument about who should go and why. Lapis watched and listened to them both, wondering what in the world happened between the two to cause them to act this way. The argument was getting heated and had turned to school yard insults,

“Your mom probably bought you Megabloks instead of Legos when you were a kid,” Peridot snapped at the willowy woman.

“You should carry a potted plant around to replace all of the oxygen you waste, Foster,” Pearl retorted with venom.

At that, Amethyst started to laugh rather loudly. “Okay. We’ll end there. Might take P-dot a bit to recover from that one. While you two were  _ discussing  _ your differences, I made a decision. You two are going, Lapis and I are staying. You two are the experienced agents and are more equipped to handle this.  Comprendes?”

Pearl let out a long, exasperated sigh. “You make a very valid point, Amethyst. As much as I would like to bring you for the experience, we don’t want to overwhelm the poor parents.”

Peridot ran a hand through her hair, not really concerned with how the action messed up her careful styling. “Agreed. Lazuli?” She looked at her partner, sitting in a chair with a little smirk on her face.  _ ‘What is that look? Is she amused? Oh stars… Damn Pearl distracting me from work… Ruddy clod…’ _

“Yeah, Peri?” Her smirk only widened.

Peridot cleared her throat in an attempt to hide her embarrassment and blush. “Do you feel comfortable going to talk to the coroner?”

“I think so? What do you want me to ask?” Lapis stood, stretching her arms above her head to pop her back.

Peridot quickly looked down at the desk. She didn’t allow herself a peek at the part of Lapis’ stomach that was exposed when her shirt was lifted slightly. “I’ll write some questions down, but I also respect your abilities to think of your own questions to ask.”

“Amethyst, will you accompany her?”

“Sure thing, P.”

***

Peridot was stuck in a car again, this time with someone she would rather not be. She was lost in thought staring out the window again, it was becoming a bad habit. Her mind was once again wandering to the blue-haired officer turned temporary agent. She was conflicted and that upset her.  _ ‘Jasper said to let myself feel… Why are feelings so difficult? Gah! It’s like a crime scene, okay? Find one thing, one feeling, and focus on it until I understand it. Okay. I feel… I feel…’ _

“Foster?”

Peridot pinched the bridge of her nose. “Yes, Rogers?”

“I hope we can put our differences aside for the time being and act professionally while we interview the parents.”

“I was planning on it.”

“Good. And,” Pearl paused for a good minute struggling with her pride to say what she needed to say, “I would like to apologize. It was very unfair of me to bring her up in such a hurtful way. If you feel ready to have a partner again, you deserve it. She would have wanted it.”

“I would appreciate it if you wouldn’t bring it up again.” Peridot looked at the house they had parked in front of. It appeared to be a normal house, a manicured lawn, and lovely flower garden. On the sidewalk in front of the house was a large collection of boquetes and candles, some lit and other burnt out.

“This part is never easy.” Pearl removed her seatbelt.

“I don’t know if it should be.” Peridot stepped out of the car. As she followed Pearl up the driveway of the house she mentally prepared herself for what was to come.  _ ‘Be respectful, they just lost their son. Think before you speak.’  _ She stood next to the CIA agent as she knocked.

The door was opened by a short man. His red eyes had bags under them and his hair, though there wasn’t much of it, was disheveled as if he had been running his hand through it moments before. “Can I help you? I don’t want to talk to anymore reporters.”

“I apologize, Mr. Barriga,” Pearl stood a little bit taller as she spoke. “I was under the impression that the police station called beforehand.”

“I’m Agent Foster, FBI, and this is Agent Rogers, CIA.” Peridot pulled her wallet out to show the man her badge.

“Oh. Yes. Forgive me. Please come in.” Mr. Barriga opened the door to let them in. “I apologize, we haven’t had time to clean.”

“It’s no problem whatsoever, Mr. Barriga.”

They were led into a living room where a woman sat on the couch looking through a photo album.  _ ‘The mother,’  _ Peridot assumed. With a wave of Mr. Barriga’s hands they were invited to sit. He sat next to his wife and put an arm around her. “Hey, hun. The agents are here.”

Peridot watched them interact, letting Pearl do the introductions this time.  _ ‘Distraught, which is normal. They are genuinely in love. No problems at home, no evidence of abuse. A happy home shattered by the frailty of mortality. I know the feeling…’  _ she looked around the room they were in, extrapolating every detail she could.  _ ‘Plenty of family pictures throughout the years of life. Only child I see. Ah. Rebellious one at that. Gauges, pink hair-’ _

“Agent Foster,” she was pulled from her thoughts by Pearl’s voice, “is an expert in behavioral sciences and psychology. I, myself, am a detective of sorts. It’s difficult to explain what I do without saying more than I am able. I’m sure you can understand.”

“I thought behavioral sciences was not a real science?” Mr. Barriga spoke.

Peridot’s eye twitched in annoyance. “It’s a fairly new field of science only really used when dangerous criminals need to be found. Though a few practices are trying it’s methods to understand problem children. It’s based in psychology. It’s a very effective tool, I can promise you that. For instance, you two are very much in love. The way you lean into each other subconsciously shows that you find comfort in each other. An arm around your wife indicates that you are trying to simultaneously comfort and protect her without coming off as overbearing. As for-”

“What Agent Foster is trying to say is that behavioural science can help us figure out who the criminal is based off of their actions.”

“Yes. Forgive my outburst.”

“It’s alright Agent Foster.”

“May we ask you a few questions?”

***

Lapis found herself surprisingly nervous without Peridot by her side. More than she expected to be at least. Amethyst was nice enough, it seemed, but she would much rather be going to talk to a coroner with Peridot. It dawned on her as they drove that this was a good opportunity to ask questions though. Hopefully Amethyst wouldn't be as cryptic as Peridot.

“So, Amethyst?”

“What’s up, Laps?”

“What else do you know about those two?”

“P and P-dot? Shit, dude, not much. I know they go way back, like college back. I think they were roommates? That doesn’t sound right,” she shook her head, “but as far as I know, they’ve always fought like this. Like, they have it out for each other so sumthin’.”

“Huh,” Lapis hesitated before asking the question that was really bothering her, “Why did Agent Rogers tell me to make sure I drive?”

“That? Honestly, I have no idea. It really upset P-dot though.”

“Yeah. It did. She was actually crying a bit when I followed her outside.”

“Shit? Really? That was fucked up of P then. I get bickering ‘n shit, but she didn’t need to make P-dot cry.” Amethyst parked outside of the hospital. “Is she okay?”

“I think so. I was going to try and ask about it tonight but so far she hasn’t seemed too eager to talk about her past.”

“Ya know what? P doesn’t either. Doing what they do can really fuck someone up.”

“Seems like it.”

“And on that note!” Amethyst threw her car door open. “Let’s go look at a dead body!”

“Yay?”

Lapis was  _ very  _ uncomfortable with her current situation. Seeing a body, headless, cut up, torso open, and gray on a table in front of her… She could already feel the nightmares creeping into her mind.  _ ‘Peri trusted in you so suck it up and ask the questions. I wanted to come with her and learn so learn, idiot.’ _

“The precision of the cuts through the skin, muscle, and even bone is almost terrifyingly good. I know a few surgeons that would struggle to replicate it.”

Lapis looked at the list of questions she had, rolling her eyes at the large words and length of them. She would adjust them, no doubt. “So, you ruled the cause of death as bleeding out, right?”

“Exsanguination, yes.”

“Okay. And the cutting up of the body was the post mortem?”

“In my opinion, yes.”

“Right. So how long would it take a child his age to bleed out?”

“That’s difficult to determine without knowing the size of the wound he was bleeding out from. From what I do have of the body, I can guarantee that none of these wounds were the one that caused death. My assumption was that the throat was slit and he was hung upside down. It’s the most effective way to remove blood from the body; ask any big game hunter. In that situation, perhaps one to two minutes for him to succumb to the blood loss and another six to seven minutes for the blood to drain.”

“Okay.” Lapis wrote her notes in the notebook Peridot had provided her. She found herself glad that it was a fairly quick death; the boy didn’t have to suffer. A child didn’t deserve that fate.

***

Once the agents had finished their questioning they had met at the station to discuss their findings. Lapis was relieved to see that Peridot didn’t look upset but had her neutral expression; a good sign. What surprised her was the smile she was given when their eyes met. It was small, but genuine and sweet. It made her heart flutter and feel light and that feeling was only accentuated when Peridot sat next to her on the small couch in the office.

“How’d it go, Lazuli?”

“She was awesome, P-dot! She was like an old pro!”

“Thank you for your input, Rodriguez. Lazuli?”

“I think it went well. I asked those questions you gave me.”

Peridot smiled and nodded. “I knew I could count on you.”

“Would you two like to discuss what you learned first?” Pearl was sitting at the desk this time around, her laptop open and fingers typing quickly.

"Tell 'em, chica." Amethyst lazily waved her hand in Lapis' direction.

Lapis pulled out her little notebook. "Okay, so. With the head and neck missing, the doctor can't be sure but he thinks that the victim's throat was slit. It's the most efficient way of removing blood from the body. It's how hunters do it." Peridot simply nodded and Pearl hummed. "The cutting up of the body was done post mortem though. He estimated six to seven minutes to drain the blood that way."

"No self defense wounds either," Amethyst added.

"Interesting," Peridot brought her hand to her chin in thought. "Because the first victim had trauma to the head, I believe it's safe to assume that this victim did as well. An unconscious person is much easier to tie up and hang upside down."

"We can't be sure without the head though."

"Correct, Rogers. However, your job is to find facts and evidence. My job is to theorize and analyze."

"Fair enough, Foster."

"Is it weird to anyone else that they can't call each other Pearl and Peridot?"

"I'm still not used to being called, Lazuli," Lapis laughed softly.

"It's professional," Peridot defended herself.

"Nah, it's loco, P-dot," Amethyst laughed loudly. "But tell us what you two found out,  _ Rogers  _ and  _ Foster. _ "

Pearl rolled her eyes subtly, but didn't retort. "The victim was a normal teenager. He hated school, his parents, and life in general. He had good friends though, didn't run with the wrong crowd, as it were. There's no evidence to indicate that he had any connection to the killer."

"You need to learn to look deeper, Rogers. Despite his good friends, he was a bully. One boy in particular, apparently. He had a suspension slip in his room. He had a good home life so his fuel for bullying had to come from elsewhere. Seeing from the photos in the house that he changed his appearance constantly, he had self esteem issues. That had to have been his fuel."

"Do you know who he bullied?" Lapis piped up, her eyes brightening a bit in realization.

"I believe the suspension slip said Steven."

"That's Chief Adams son. They moved to Oak Hill because he was getting bullied."

"And the bully ends up dead. Fascinating."

"The boy isn't a suspect." Pearl quickly jumped in, her voice getting a defensive tone to it.

"How do you know, Rogers?" Peridot noticed the tone, suspicion rising inside her.

"He's a sweet kid, Peri. I once saw him cry because he realized snakes don't have arms."

"Still… I would like to talk to him myself." Peridot noticed a soft yawn coming from the woman next to her. A tang of guilt ran through her as she remembered her partner hadn't been sleeping well. They had been going since they arrived; they hadn't even been to the hotel yet. "Rogers, Rodriguez, is it alright if we meet again tomorrow? It's been a long day for us." She stood abruptly.

"That's quite alright, Foster. Shall we meet here tomorrow at seven?"

"Yes. We will be here. Let's go, Lazuli." 

[](https://www.flickr.com/photos/185443884@N02/49506588577/in/dateposted-public/)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 8 and 1000 hits! Thank you all, from the bottom of our hearts, thank you. Dart and I are glad so many people like this story and we can't wait to share more of it with you. Leave a comment and let us know what you think so far, ask a question, or just to say hey. I personally love comments.
> 
> Thank you all for reading! Stay awesome. Bingo bongo~
> 
> Your humble author,  
> Draconly


	9. What Haunts Us

[](https://www.flickr.com/photos/185443884@N02/49655629648/in/dateposted-public/)

Most hotels supply an unrestricted amount of heated water, a luxury Lapis was incredibly grateful for. The officer had been standing under the steady stream of the showerhead for an unknown amount of time. The water helped clear her head, giving her time to contemplate the day’s previous events. Lazuli had known what following her temporary partner into a  _ morgue _ entailed, but she wasn't prepared quite as well as she wanted. The newbie agent made a mental note to find an online class on steeling your gag reflex, the sight of the body affected her more than it should have.

Lapis left the bathroom in her pajamas, more than ready to sleep as long as possible. A brief scan of the room located Peridot behind the sliding glass door that led to their room’s balcony. The short woman was looking at her phone while she paced in front of the railing, an empty hotel-brand alcohol bottle in her otherwise free hand. There were at least four identical bottles scattered around her. Though Agent Foster had made it known, a while ago, that she was a drinker, Lapis frowned. She opted to sink into the bed she had called dibs on when the two first entered. Lazuli began staring at the wall hard enough to provoke a restraining order.

Peridot made her way inside shortly after, tossing her empty vice onto a small desk beside the sliding door. The frustrated woman approached the minibar with visible intent.

"Everything okay?" Lapis asked, careful not to raise her voice. She wasn’t sure what kind of drunk Peridot would be, so she thought it best to be safe.

"Peachy. Just peachy." Peridot grabbed the last of the alcohol. "Why don't they stock bigger bottles? How am I supposed to get drunk?"

The blue haired officer raised a brow. "You... don't?"

Agent Foster let loose a sardonic laugh. "Yeah. Sure." With a bit of trouble, she spun the cap off of one of her treasures. "You can sleep. I need to work."

"I'm not really tired yet." Lapis was slightly confused. "Peri, I'm here if you need to talk. From what I've seen already in this case, I'm sure you have a lot of things haunting you."

Peridot downed half of the uncapped bottle. "No offense, Lazuli, but you haven't seen a thing."

"So talk to me about it. You can't keep everything bottled up."

"Sure I can, Anna." Peridot flinched.

"Anna...?" Peridot froze.

Peridot ran a hand through her hair. "My last… partner… she used to say that a lot."

"You obviously never learned your lesson. What," Lapis hesitated, she didn’t know if she should have been asking about this, especially since Peri was  _ clearly _ not entirely sober. She decided it was worth the risk, "What happened to her?"

Peridot stumbled into a sitting position on the end of Lapis’ bed. She chuckled softly, but it was so obviously full of heartache. "She, um--she was shot. Then we got hit on the way to the hospital. She… she didn't make it."

"Is that why you don't like cars?"

"Yeah…"

Lapis felt the urge to put an arm around the shorter woman and comfort her. She looked so sad, so heartbroken. "I'll share my demons if you share yours."

"I doubt you have any, Lapis. You're perfect." Peridot’s voice was tainted with grievance and jealousy. 

"Ha! Far from it. I have learned that it helps to talk, though. Here, I'll go first." Lapis moved beside her. "You know I was in a bad relationship, but what I didn't tell you was that I started it most of the time. I loved to push her buttons. It made me feel powerful and I loved having control."

Peridot wiped her nose with the back of her hand. "I was driving the car. The truck hit my side. I should've died, but I didn't. I lost this though," she started rolling her left pant leg up. Lapis watched curiously, her eyes widening in surprise at the prosthetic beneath the clothing. "It doesn't feel like a fitting punishment. I hate it. It reminds me every day that I'm alive but she's not."

Lapis waited a moment, seeing if she would say more. When that didn't happen, she spoke. "The first time a gun was pointed at me, I froze. I was scared and didn't react in time… A civilian was shot and killed because of me."

"Have you ever shot anyone?"

"No. I haven't."

"I have." Peridot looked down at her left hand, the one she held her revolver with, palm up and fingers stretched out.

Lapis gently placed a hand over her friend’s. "I'm sorry about Anna."

Peridot gratefully took her hand. "I loved her…"

"I can tell." Lapis felt horrible when a small bubble of jealousy rose in her chest. "I'm sure she loved you too."

Peridot turned her head and looked up at her, eyes meeting. "Jasper says I need to let myself feel again."

"I'm sure the alcohol doesn't help." Lapis smiled. She poked her nose. Peridot scrunched her nose in response. "Do you always drink like this?"

"No. I usually drink more. I don't like feeling."

"Feeling can hurt, yeah. But it can also feel good. You have to feel the bad so you can feel the good."

Peridot rubbed her hand in small circles with her thumb. "I'm scared."

"What are you scared of?" Lapis felt her cheeks heating up.

“Thunderstorms, bees, failure, the fact that you’re so damn beautiful.”

Lapis could feel the heat radiating from her cheeks. “H-how much did you drink?”

“I dunno,” Peridot shrugged. “Your turn. Share a demon.”

“How about we go to bed?” Lapis gently pulled her hand away from her grasp. “We had a long day.”

“I need to work more.” Peridot flexed her fingers a few times at the loss of contact. “You can sleep.” She stood, wincing at the pressure where her leg and prosthetic met.

“I think you should sleep too, Peri.”

“I really can’t, Lazuli. There’s too much to do.”

Lapis knew this wasn’t a battle she could win. Instead, she sighed before getting settled into bed. “Don’t work too hard, Peri.”

“No promises.” Peridot opened another little bottle.

Lapis turned her back to her and closed her eyes. She tried to fall asleep, she really did, but her mind wouldn’t stop turning.  _ ‘Her last partner… Shit… She blames herself for it, I can tell. I wonder how in love they were? From the way she acts, I’m guessing pretty deep. But she called me beautiful? What the fuck was that? She didn’t seem  _ that  _ drunk… She’s still obviously hurting from losing Anna so I’ll back off. If she’s not ready, that’s okay. Friends is fine.’ _ Eventually the clacking of a keyboard and sounds of pen scratching on paper lulled her into sleep.

Once Peridot heard her breathing slow and steady, she glanced at the woman over her shoulder to be sure she was asleep. Carefully and quietly, she made her way out onto the balcony again. She called the one person she could talk to and hoped she was still awake. She was flooded with relief when she answered,

“It’s late, Dot.” Her voice was groggy with sleep.

“I know Jasp. I’m really sorry but I need to talk. Something is happening and I’m scared.”

“Woah, slow down, Dot. What’s up?”

“I cleared the minibar-”

“Dot…”

“Don’t interrupt. But it wasn’t really enough to do anything. Lazuli and I talked a bit, I told her about Anna and showed her my leg which is really weird because I’m not even drunk, just tipsy really, and I  _ never  _ tell anyone about those two things but she’s just so nice and I felt like I could tell her which is  _ terrifying _ -”

“Take a breath for me, Dot. In then out. Good. Now what are you trying to say?”

“I think I’m developing feelings for Lapis Lazuli.”

“That’s a good thing.”

“No! It’s really not! I’ve put myself in the same position as last time, Jasper! She’s my partner, albeit temporary, what if… what if I can’t protect her…”

“Oh Dot… I’m so sorry for what happened in the past, I really am, but you can’t let it define your future. If you really like her, and it sounds like you do, give yourself the opportunity to try. You’ve learned from your past and are better for it. It won’t happen again.”

“What if it does?”

“Then I’ll help you through it, like always. I have your back, sis. I need you to do me a favor, more of a direct order really; get some sleep. No more working, no more drinking, sleep.”

“But-”

“Ah! Sleep or I’m giving Skinny your office.”

“You wouldn’t dare.”

“Try me.”

Peridot sighed. “Fine. I’ll sleep.”

“Good. You need to take care of yourself, Dot. I don’t want to lose you. Love you, sis. Please sleep.”

“I will, just for you. Love you too.” Peridot ended the call. She quietly slipped back into the room. Keeping a careful eye on Lapis’ sleeping form she made her way to her bed.  _ ‘I don’t want to change… Not worth it…’  _ She slowly sank onto the bed. Lapis needed her sleep and she couldn’t afford to disturb her. She laid her head on the pillow and closed her eyes.  _ “Fuck! My contacts… One night with them will be fine.’  _ It was only then she realized how tired she was.

She was just barely drifting to sleep when a strangled cry came from the bed next to her. She quickly sat up. 

“Lazuli?” She was tossing from side to side in her sleep, face stuck in an expression of horror; she was having a nightmare. Peridot crossed the small gap between their beds with a single step. She sat next to her and carefully placed a hand on her shoulder. “Lazuli? Can you hear me? Lapis?”

Lapis opened her eyes with a sharp intake of breath. Her breathing was shaking, strained, and her expression didn’t change from the terror.

“Lapis, you’re okay. It’s just me, Peridot. It was just a nightm- umphf!” Peridot was grabbed with arms around her shoulders and pulled down. A face was buried against her neck and she could feel tears on her skin. “Hey,” her voice softened to almost a whisper, “it’s okay. I’m right here.” She did her best to rub her blue hair from the position she was in, arms slightly trapped. She continued to whisper words of comfort and run her fingers through hair until Lapis calmed. She sat up when the tight grip on her was loosened.

“You okay, Lapis?”

“Y-yeah. Sorry.” Lapis laid her head back on the pillow.

One look at her expression and body language was enough to tell Peridot that she was  _ not  _ okay. She ran her hand through her hair and spoke before she could talk herself out of it. “Scoot over.”

“What?” Lapis looked at her in surprise.

“Scoot before I decide this is a bad idea. It helped you sleep in the plane and I really need you to sleep well.”

Lapis scooted over on the bed, suddenly feeling very shy. “You don’t have to, Peri.”

“I know. Give me a sec.” Peridot removed her prosthesis, not wanting to accidentally kick Lapis with it in her sleep, then tossed it onto the other bed.

“What was that?”

“My leg.”

Lapis laughed softly, “Sorry. It’s the way you said it.”

“Like I’m tired?” Peridot got settled under the covers. She spread her arm out so Lapis could scoot up close.

“Like it was the most obvious thing in the world.” Lapis laid on her side next to Peridot. She rested her head on her chest and immediately found her heartbeat comforting her. “Thank you.” She draped her arm over Peridot’s stomach.

“You’re welcome, Lapis. Sleep tight.” Peridot wrapped her arm around her.

“Night, Peri.”

***

When Lapis woke, she couldn't decide what she found the most surprising. First of all, she was awake at five in the morning. It was something she had done often due to her shifts at the station, but it only ever happened after several alarms went off; she had never woken up this early on her own. Secondly, she was awake  _ before  _ Peridot which led into the third thing. They were sharing a bed. They were cuddling.

Lapis lay as still as she could for several minutes. She didn't want to disturb Peridot and selfishly wanted to continue cuddling with her. Her warmth, her arms, her heartbeat… it was all so comforting. She quickly found herself getting bored though, restlessness sinking in. Grateful for her long arms she slowly and carefully reached to where her phone was charging on the nightstand. She unlocked the screen, wincing at the sudden invasion of light. She glanced at Peridot as she turned the brightness down to make sure she wasn't disturbed. With relief, she cuddled up closer before checking her messages, fifteen texts to be exact.

**Bis Bear** : r u gonna call me?

**Bis Bear** : I told u to call every night blue

**Bis Bear** : I swear to heaven almighty that if something happened to u I will personally wring tiny's neck

Lapis had to bite her lip to keep from laughing. Without bothering to read the rest, they would be more of the same, she replied,

**WaterWitch** : Hey, Bis. I got back to the hotel and passed out. Srry I didn't reply. I'm alive. I think? Girl, I have soooooooo much to talk to you about!

It didn't take long to get a reply, Bismuth worked early shifts like herself.

**Bis Bear** : u owe me 10 years of your life for making me worry!

**Bis Bear** : tell me everything baby girl

**WaterWitch** : Soooooooooo… Peri is a secret sweetheart… I woke from a nightmare last night and she fuckin let me listen to her heartbeat until I fell back asleep

**Bis Bear** : SAY WHAT!?

**WaterWitch** : I know right? We're still cuddling and she's asleep

**Bis Bear** : hun you gotta lock her down

**Waterwitch** : That's complicated…

**WaterWitch** : She has an ex that she lost in the line of duty…

**WaterWitch** : She still hasn't recovered not all the way at least

**Bis Bear** : alright alright I get ya

**Bis Bear** : but if you get the chance

**Bis Bear** : lock

**Bis Bear** : her

**Bis Bear** : down

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy V-Day fluff ya'll! I had fun writing this chapter and I hope you had as much fun reading it. Shit's gonna hit the fan real soon so be ready. Love you kiddos, happy reading. - Draconly


	10. Friendship Level 5.99

[](https://www.flickr.com/photos/185443884@N02/49655629648/in/dateposted-public/)

After waking up, the two women expected the morning routine to be a little awkward, but neither had expected it to be as awkward as it was. After mumbling a few "I'm sorry's" and "It's no big deal" the two of them danced around each other to prepare for the day. Neither really knew what to say to the other so conversation was avoided. Trying to be kind and diffuse the awkward air, Peridot ironed Lapis' blouse while she did her hair and makeup. It was a kind thought, but ultimately didn't help.

Peridot's mood was only further ruined by the rain that had started pouring seemingly as soon she stepped out of the hotel lobby. She glared at the sky out of the car window, challenging the universe to test her further. It seemed the universe heard her when she was greeted by an overly cheerful Agent Rodriguez,

"P-dot! Laps! Hola!"

"Morning, Ames." Lapis smiled behind her coffee cup.

"Rodriguez," Peridot grumbled. "Where's Rogers?"

"On the phone out back. She said go ahead and get started." Amethyst kicked her feet up onto the desk.

Peridot was about to scold the agent when the door to the office opened. An officer stuck his head in, a little shy and intimidated, before speaking. "Agents? The Chief would like to speak to you right away. He said it's urgent."

"Code two urgent or code three urgent?" Lapis finished her coffee with a little frown.

"More of a code three." The officer perked up at the use of radio codes familiar to him. "He's in his office."

"I need to learn police codes someday…" Peridot mumbled to herself as she left the office, Amethyst and Lapis in tow. "Glad to have you around, Lazuli, but what's the difference between two and three?"

"Two is urgent but no lights or sirens. Code three is urgent with lights and sirens."

"Oh I get it. Three is the more urgent urgent. That'll be useful to know." Amethyst nodded as she spoke.

Peridot walked through the open door into the Chief's office. "Chief Dewey. How may we assist you?"

"Agents!" The chief was a very nervous man and it continued to surprise Peridot that a man of his fortitude could run a police station. "The Barriga's home was broken into last night and a message or something was left on their walls, the same sort of symbols from the high school. There should be an officer waiting for you there. The parents have been moved to a safe location as well.”

"Let's go." Peridot turned on her heel and walked through the door. She wasn’t too excited at the thought of going back out in the rain.

"I'll wait for P and we'll meet you there." Amethyst walked back to the office they worked in.

Lapis followed Peridot to the car. "Is this normal?"

"Is what normal?" Peridot shook some water from her hair once in the car. "This rain? No. Never."

"You and rain," Lapis snorted. "But I mean the Barriga's house. Do serial killers often break into homes to leave cryptic messages?"

"No. They don't. This is starting to shape into a very different case."

"What do you mean?"

"The details of this case are starting to be more typical of ritual killing."

"And what does that mean?"

"Could mean a cult." Peridot ran a hand through her hair. "I'm not entirely sure though. I need to go back to D.C. and talk to an agent specializing in cults. You may come as well."

"I might take you up on that."

"I hope you do."

Lapis pulled into the driveway of the home moments later. "There's no patrol car around... Maybe the officer is inside?"

"Stay in the car for now." Peridot unbuckled herself. She felt uneasy, like her entire body was screaming that something was wrong. The last time she had felt this way, she had lost someone very important to her. She wouldn’t let that happen again. “I’ll let you know if it’s safe.”

“I’m not letting you go out there on your own, Peri.”

“Please,” her voice shrank to near a whisper and wavered ever so slightly, “I need to be sure you’re safe.”

“Okay.” Lapis closed her eyes. She really wanted to say no, she really did, but after what Peridot had told her the night before about her last partner she opted to listen. She had come to trust her and her judgements.

Peridot opened the car door just enough to stick the umbrella out and open it before stepping out of the car and into the rain. The combination of the rain and her uneasy feeling heightened her senses. The rain hitting the pavement sounded like a waterfall in her ears, drowning out her uneven footsteps as she walked towards the front door. She only took a few steps before a familiar sound, louder than the rain, rang in her ears. A sharp pain in her shoulder seconds later confirmed the source of the noise. Her first thought was, unironically, _‘Seems I’ve been shot.’_

Lapis watched the agent take a few steps away from the car before she heard the unmistakable sound of a gunshot. She watched in horror as her small frame reacted to the force of the bullet and was pushed back ever so slightly. Only when the blood splattered on the passenger window of the car did Lapis’ training snap into play. She practically leapt out of the car and crouched behind it for cover. “Peri!?” She pulled her pistol free from the hostler on her hip. “Are you okay!?”

Peridot grabbed her right shoulder as the pain finally registered in her brain. _‘Pain shooting up my neck… Arm going numb… Can’t-’_ she hissed softly, _‘can’t move it…’_ adrenaline surged through her giving her the strength to move to the other side of the car. She barely registered the sound of another gunshot as she rounded the front end. Crouching next to Lapis she noticed her mouth moving but all she could hear was a ringing. She simply stared at the woman while moving her fingers around to find the bullet hole. _‘There. Above the clavicle. Off of the trachea. Brachial nerves. Nerves that provide feeling and movement to my arm and hand.’_

“Peridot!!” Lapis practically screamed into her face.

Peridot blinked once then twice. “I’ve been shot.”

“No shit, sherlock! Are you okay?”

“Yes. Nothing major has been damaged.” Peridot drew her revolver. She opened the chamber, making sure it was loaded, before meeting Lapis’ gaze. “Can you provide me cover?”

“And what the fuck are you going to do?”

“Try and see who is shooting at us.”

“Peri, you’re in shock and you’re losing a lot of blood. I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“This isn’t my first rodeo, Lazuli.” Sirens started wailing nearby. “Seems someone called the police. Will you give me cover or not?”

“I-” Lapis bit her lip, “Fine. Okay.” She moved so she was by the hood of the car. In a quick motion she got up on her knees and rested her arms on the hood of the car. She scanned the area in front of her looking for any movement.

“Shoot at any movement.” Peridot moved towards the trunk of the car. “Clear?”

“Clear.”

Peridot shot out from behind the car and sprinted towards the direction of the gunshots. What, or more correctly who, she saw under the cover of the trees made her stumble and fall as her entire body seized up. She let out a small yelp of pain when her injured shoulder smacked into the ground.

“Peridot!?” Lapis bolted towards her, completely forgetting about the shooter. She dropped to her knees next to her and helped her sit up. “Are you okay?” There was no response and the look on her face made Lapis worried. She was beyond pale, her eyes stuck open in shock, looking as if she had seen a ghost. “Peri?”

A patrol car, an ambulance, and a black sedan all pulled up to the house in quick succession. Lapis stood out of the way of the paramedics as they surrounded her partner. She watched closely, barely even registering the two other agents walking up to her.

“Lapis?” Pearl put her umbrella over her head. “Are you alright?”

“I think… I think so… Peridot was shot.” Lapis hugged herself as a shiver ran down her spine. She gave Pearl a thankful look for the umbrella.

“She was shot? What happened?”

“I don’t know. She got out of the car and was shot at. It’s like they were waiting for us.”

Pearl and Amethyst exchanged worried looks. “Did you see who did it,” the former asked.

“No. Peri ran towards them but I think she tripped and fell. She looked… scared when I helped her up though… I think that scares me more than being shot at.”

Pearl frowned, looking towards the back of the ambulance where Peridot was. “I’ve known Agent Foster for many years and I’ve only ever seen her actually afraid once. You will talk to her, Lapis?”

“Yeah. Of course.” Lapis moved her wet bangs out of her face as she walked to the ambulance. She peered inside the small space and found the agent sitting up on the gurney as her shoulder was being stitched. She was staring into the distance at nothing in particular with that horrified expression still on her face. Lapis started to enter the back of the ambulance when another paramedic stopped her,

“Sorry. I can’t let you back here.”

“I’m her partner, Agent Lazuli.” Lapis pulled on the chain around her neck that held her badge until the badge slid out from under her shirt.

“My apologies, Agent.” The man continued talking as she climbed inside. “She’s stable, will probably only need stitches. Minimal blood loss. Entrance and exit wound so no need to go into surgery to find a bullet. She’s in shock though, pretty extreme shock. Never seen someone shot go into shock like this.”

Lapis nodded. She sat on the bench next to the talking paramedic. “She hasn’t said anything?”

“No ma’am.”

Lapis’ worry only continued to grow. _‘What in the world happened? Did she see something?’_ She gently took Peridot’s hand between both of hers. “Any chance she hit her head?”

“Not hard enough to cause this type of reaction.”

“Stitches are done.”

Lapis nodded. She rubbed her hand ever so softly, just ghosting her thumb over her skin. “Peridot? Hey, Peri. It’s me, Lazuli. Are you okay?”

Peridot closed her eyes tightly. She shook her head quickly from side to side as she came back to her senses. Almost immediately her eyes jolted open and a growl left her mouth. The paramedic that was bandaging her shoulder quickly held her hands up at the sound of the growl. “Watch it you, clod!”

Lapis laughed, sounding more like a sigh of relief. “Be nice. She’s fixing you up.”

“She could be more careful,” Peridot sniped. Her hand closed around one of Lapis’.

“What happened, Peri? Did you trip?”

Peridot closed her eyes. She hated lying, especially to Lapis, but there was no need to make her worry more than she already did. “Yeah. I tripped. The grass was very slippery.”

“That’s what happens when it rains, dork.” Lapis poked her nose, loving the way she scrunched it in response.

“So I’ve been told…” Peridot couldn’t stop the smile that crept onto her face, she had been doing more of that lately. She gave Lapis’ hand a gentle squeeze.

“Alright, agents. I recommend you do get that shoulder looked at as soon as possible. We can’t confirm any damage but the bullet hit an area close to a bundle of nerves. Also, I don’t want you using that arm until you get the okay. It needs time to heal. I think we have a sling in here somewhere.”

Peridot felt anger bubbling up. “A sling?” Awkward morning, rain, Rodriguez’s annoying voice, being shot, seeing… seeing... and _now_ a sling? She was ready to fight the universe with her bare fists in a death match.

***

Peridot was absolutely hating the look Jasper was giving her over their video call. Neither had said a word yet in some sort of power play. Peridot wouldn't relent. She wanted at least _one_ victory today and her stubbornness was not to be rivaled.

Jasper finally relented with a deep sigh. "Are you going to explain what happened?"

"If I have to."

"You can drop the attitude, Dot. I know getting shot sucks but nothing compares to the amount of paperwork I need to do now. At least tell me what happened."

"And here I thought you cared about me, Jasp."

"Not when you're being a little bitch about it. You said that Lazuli girl was just outside of the room?"

"What are you getting at?" Peridot eyed her friend suspiciously.

"LAZULI GET IN HERE!!!" Jasper yelled loud enough to blow out the speakers on Peridot's laptop.

"Jesus Christ, Jasp!"

Lapis stepped into the room, a little uncertain of what to expect and a bit intimidated by the yelling. "Yes?"

"Introduce me, Dot."

Peridot scooted her chair to one side so Lapis could see the laptop. "Lazuli, Jasper. Jasper, Lazuli." Her tone of voice was dull, bored, like she'd rather be anywhere else in the world.

Lapis pulled up a chair and sat. "Um, hi. I'm Lapis Lazuli."

"Jasper Valez, supervisory agent. Since _Peridot_ isn't willing to cooperate will you please tell me what happened."

Peridot rolled her eyes. She was beyond done with the day and just wanted to buy a bottle of good whiskey and drown in it.

"Well, ma'am," Lapis felt the need to straighten her posture, "we went to the Barriga home to investigate the break in and symbols. Per- Agent Foster seemed uncomfortable when we got there and told me to wait in the car. She was shot when she got out."

"I know that part. I want to know why my best agent didn't pursue the shooter."

"Oh, um, she… well… she tripped and fell."

"Is that true, Dot?"

Peridot simply replied with a thumbs up.

"I hate when you bullshit me."

"I hate useless conversations."

"So help me woman I will personally strangle you! What aren't you telling me?"

Peridot glared at the computer screen. " _Her_."

Jasper's entire composure changed to one of concern. "Really her? Like, _her_ her?"

"Yes. Right in front of me. I froze, okay?"

Lapis frowned, wishing she understood what exactly was happening. That seemed to be happening more and more as of late. She watched Peridot's face trying to read anything she could get from it.

"Shit… you okay, sis?"

"No. I'm not. Not really." Peridot pinched the bridge of her nose. "Jasper I need to talk to Fryeman. Can you arrange that?"

"Fryeman? You think it's going in that direction?"

"Yes."

"I'll see what I can do. Lapis."

"Yes, ma'am?"

"Don't let her drink tonight. Make sure she sleeps too."

"I don't need a babysitter," Peridot mumbled under her breath.

"Like hell you don't! No drinking tonight. You know it's always worse afterwards."

"Thanks, _mom._ "

"I'll make sure she doesn't drink, ma'am."

"Thank you, Lapis. Try and get her to a hospital, but I'm not too worried if you don't today. She can see the in house doc when she gets back. I'll let you know when I have an answer about Fryeman." Jasper ended the video call.

Peridot sank into her chair. She glared up at the ceiling as if she was trying to light it on fire with her mind. If she tried hard enough, she was convinced it might just happen. This day had been more than she was prepared for, emotionally at least, and she _really_ hated everything she was feeling at the moment. And now, no thanks to Jasper, she had no way of drowning those feelings.

"Her?" Lapis asked rather carefully.

"You need to reach a friendship level of six to unlock more of my tragic backstory." Peridot didn't even try to add humor to the statement this time.

"Where am I at?"

"Five point nine nine."

"How do I get up to six?"

"Let me drink."

"Nope. Not happening." Lapis crossed her arms over her chest, an act of defiance and stubbornness.

Amethyst suddenly burst through the door, making the two agents in the room jump in surprise. Peridot turned her glare from the ceiling to the Hispanic agent. Maybe she could light her on fire if she tried hard enough.

"P-dot! How bad? Ouch. A sling? That bites."

"You're lucky you're left handed." Pearl stepped into the room gracefully.

"Hey! That is lucky." Amethyst sank onto the couch. "I think she's trying to kill me with her glare. See that, Pearl? I think she's getting close too."

Lapis glanced at Peridot and, seeing the glare somehow get worse, decided to change the subject and spare Amethyst Peridot's wrath. "Did you two get to look inside the house?"

"We did. I took pictures for you." Pearl pulled her phone out of her coat pocket, unlocked it, then offered it to Lapis.

"Let's take a look then, Peri." Lapis took the phone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys like this chapter! Dart and I are going to take a little break so look out for the next chapter. As always, I love your comments so keep them coming. Stay awesome! - Draconly


	11. Lady of Blue

[ ](https://www.flickr.com/photos/185443884@N02/49655629648/in/dateposted-public/)

So far, Peridot’s day was turning out to be better than the day before. The pain in her shoulder and arm was there, but not terrible, she could handle it. She found this to be a good sign considering how close the bullet had hit near the nerves there. The fact that she felt pain meant that the nerves were not damaged. After sharing a bed with Lapis (she had more nightmares) for another night, the awkward air wasn’t there in the morning. She had thanked her softly, her voice making Peridot’s heart flutter, before getting up for the day. Peridot was smiling, something she hadn’t really done in years. Most surprising of all was that she was sleeping---and sleeping through the night at that. The wonders that sleep did to the mind and psyche astounded her. It was definitely shaping up to be a better day.

Before leaving the hotel, while struggling to tie her shoes one handed, an all too familiar ringtone rang in her ears. She answered her phone with a chipper voice,

“Morning Jasp.”

“Woah. You feeling alright?”

“Heh, yeah. I am. Much better than yesterday.”

“I’m really happy to hear that, Dot. I have good news.”

“Oh?” Peridot watched as Lapis knelt by her feet and started to tie her shoes. Despite her pride and the blush heating up her cheeks she didn’t stop her partner.

“Fryeman says he can meet with you. If you’re done there, it’s a short drive to HQ from Beach City.”

“Really? I think we’ve done as much as we can here. We need to get the symbols decoded before we can do much more in finding the killer.” Peridot smiled softly at Lapis as she sat next to her on the foot of the bed. She mouthed a thank you.

“That’s what I thought. I’ve sent Fryeman the pictures of the symbols so he has time to research before you get here. I’ll get in contact with Chief Dewey to let him know as well.”

“What about the CIA?”

“I guess I’ll let them know too.”

“I’m assuming Lazuli is coming as well?”

“If she would like to, she can come.”

“Alright. Thank you, Jasper. I’ll let you know when we get on the freeway.”

“Let me know when you’re half an hour away too. See you soon, sis. Bye.”

Peridot put her phone in her pocket. “Thank you for tying my shoes.”

“You would have done the same for me.” Lapis smiled. She was beyond happy to see Peridot smile so much. Now that the bags under her eyes had cleared, Lapis could see the bright and inquisitive nature in her emerald eyes more clearly. Despite telling herself not to, telling herself to give Peridot space to heal, she was falling more and more for the agent.

“I suppose I would.” Peridot stood. “Do you want to go to D.C.? Agent Fryeman is willing to meet with us.”

“Is that even a question?”

“Technically yes.”

Lapis rolled her eyes with a laugh. “Oh my God… Yes. Of course I want to go.”

“Then we need to pack."

***

An hour into the three hour drive and Lapis was tired of the silence filling the car. She understood Peridot’s desire to work on the case as they drove but she was getting restless and quite frankly bored. She turned the radio down a few notches before speaking,

“Peri?”

“Hmm?”

“I’m a bit bored… Can we talk?”

“About what? I’m researching more on the mathematical significance of diamonds.”

“Oh, please spare me…”

Peridot laughed, “Alright then. What do you want to talk about then?”

“Well, it seems like we’re going to be working together for quite awhile so how about we get to know each other more? No tragic backstory.”

“I’m afraid I’m terribly boring.”

“I doubt that. What’s your favorite animal?”

“I feel like it’s the first day of school.”

“Mine are penguins.”

“Narwhals.”

“Narwhals?” Lapis had expected a few answers, but nowhere near that. “Seriously?”

“Yes. They’re so absurd that they seem mythical. In a world as ordinary and predictable as ours, something so out of the ordinary makes me happy.”

“Here I was going to say that I like how awkward and cute penguins are. Do you always think so deeply about, well, everything?”

“Depends on the subject. What is your favorite color? If you say anything other than blue my entire perception of the world will shatter.”

“I am happy to announce that blue _is_ my favorite color.”

“Mine too.”

“Wait, really?”

“I’ve never lied to you, Lazuli.”

The rest of the car ride was filled with similar conversation and questions. Lapis discovered that Peridot had not one, but _three_ PhD’s and had started attending college at the ripe old age of fifteen. Peridot had also been a, what Lapis referred to as, “a big, geeky, nerd.” She spent a lot of her free time in her youth playing either video games or Dungeons and Dragons. After her first PhD, that had changed when her studies took a greater role in her life. Lapis also learned that she came out as lesbian on her seventeenth birthday, but only to Jasper. At that time as well, Peridot admitted that she was an orphan and Jasper was the closest thing to family she had. 

Peridot in turn learned that Lapis was a typical rebellious teenager who barely managed to graduate high school. She preferred to spend her days surfing and swimming, not stuck in a classroom. Her father was a police officer so Lapis had also grown up wanting to be one as well; though she did try going to college for art but only lasted one semester. Lapis had excelled in the police academy and graduated in the top ten of her class. After Peridot told her coming out story, Lapis felt it only fair to share hers, though she hardly cared if Peridot knew. She had come out as bisexual in ninth grade.

Before the two of them knew it, they were entering the city. Peridot called Jasper to let her know before directing Lapis to the parking garage specifically for FBI agents.

Lapis was amazed at the sights of the city. She had always seen pictures of the nation's capital in school but had never been in person. She was hoping that she would have time to see the sights, hopefully with Peridot. She was walking rather close to the shorter woman as they headed inside the FBI headquarters. She was nervous, intimidated even, and couldn’t deny the comfort that came from being near Peridot.

Sensing the discomfort, Peridot gave her a warm smile. “You’ll be fine, _Agent_ Lazuli.”

“Isn’t it a temporary thing?”

“No one needs to know that.”

“Dot!” A voice boomed the moment they stepped inside. Peridot knew the voice and braced herself for impact, hoping the large woman would be gentle with her shoulder. Thankfully, she was. The hug was tight but nowhere near the usual tightness.

Lapis couldn’t help but stare as the woman practically swallowed Peridot in a hug. She knew she was a larger woman but hadn't expected her to rival Bismuth. A smile formed on her lips at the tender scene before her. 

After some grumbling in protest from Peridot, Jasper finally let her go. “How are you feeling?”

“Fine. Just fine. Jasper, this is Lapis in the flesh.”

Jasper grinned and thrust her hand forward. “Lapis Lazuli, pleasure to meet you. Welcome to the Death Star.”

“Pleasure is all mine.” Lapis shook her hand, wincing slightly at the pressure exerted by the behemoth. “Thank you for giving me this opportunity.”

“Don’t thank me, thank Dot. This was all her doing.” Peridot blushed, quickly glancing at her feet. “Speaking of which, first order of business, go to the medic.”

“But-”

“Nope. Go get that shoulder looked at. I’ll take Lapis to your office to wait. Don’t make me order you.”

“Ooo! An office? Peri I didn’t know you were so prestigious,” Lapis teased, enjoying the deep blush that formed on her cheeks.

Without a word, Peridot walked off.

“I’ve never seen her blush that much,” Jasper laughed. She started leading Lapis through the maze of hallways, elevators, and rooms to Peridot’s office. She opened the door to let the bluenette inside. "Make yourself at home."

Lapis stepped inside, unsurprised by the cleanliness and organization; she had expected nothing less from Peridot. Behind the desk was a floor to ceiling bookcase with each shelf filled with books. A quick glance told her that the majority of them were academic in nature. She rounded the desk, running her hand along the smooth wood before taking a seat in the chair. The first thing she noticed on the desk was a picture frame. The picture was of Peridot and another woman with long black hair. She looked American-Asian. Her smile was pure and innocent, an arm around Peridot's waist. Peridot looked so happy and carefree in the picture it made Lapis long to see that kind of smile again. She ran a slender finger along the frame, a wistful sigh escaping her lips.

"That's Anna." Jasper had sat in one of the chairs in front of the desk.

Lapis looked at her. "She looks so happy…"

"Yeah… I haven't seen her like that since. I never got to meet Anna, I was tour on when the accident happened, but Peridot talked my ear off about her whenever we called and in every letter."

"I wish Peri would open up more to me… I barely know what happened… I mean, I know she loved her, but how deep?"

"It's not my place to tell you and I'm sure she'll open up to you soon. I do know that they were talking about marriage."

"Oh." Lapis looked back to the picture.

"You like her, don't you?"

"What? N-no!"

"Easy there," Jasper laughed softly, "it's totally fine if you do. Dot is an amazing person. She just needs someone to show her that. I think you can do that."

Lapis shrugged. "I don't know how long I have with her. I don't want to step out of line either."

"Well I can fix one of those problems. I want to offer you a job as Peridot's permanent partner."

"I don't think I qualify… I don't have a degree or anything. I'm just a police officer."

"I don't need another brainiac on my team, I need someone who can keep my brainiacs safe and in line. I'm sure you're qualified for that."

"I would feel bad leaving Chief Adams a man down."

"You don't have to decide right now, Lapis. You and Dot work well together and I think you can learn a lot from each other."

"I don't need to interview? Or, like, pass a test?"

"Alright. Let's interview. What do you feel are your qualifications for this position."

Lapis sat up straight. "I was in the top ten of my graduating class at the academy. I scored the highest on the marksmen test in the academy history as well. I don't have a lot of experience in what Agent Foster does, but I am a very quick learner."

"Alright, you're hired."

Lapis was dumbfounded. "Just like that?"

"Just like that. I always trust my gut and my gut has a good feeling about you. Also, Dot has _never_ done this. If she wanted to bring you, there's a very good reason behind it, whether she knows it or not. I can pull strings, there's a few special case forms I can fill out, so I can hire you without the whole process."

"I, um, I don't know what to say."

"Say yes, but not right now. Think about, sleep, hell---talk to Dot about it. I can talk to your Chief if you don't want to."

"Thank you, Agent Valez."

"Jasper. Call me, Jasper." Jasper stood. "I don't know how much longer she'll be, but feel free to snoop or take a nap. My office is just over there." She jutted her thumb towards her office. "I have a conference call but you can interrupt if needed."

"Okay," Lapis nodded. She sank into the chair as soon as the door clicked closed. A hand ran through her hair as her mind was assaulted with a flood of her thoughts. _'I've always wanted to be FBI so why am I holding back… Cuz I don't feel ready? Maybe… But Peri believes in me. That has to mean something. Right? Fuck, I don't know…'_ She looked at the picture of Peridot and Anna again. _'She let me in despite her pain. She let me in despite her fear. She believes in me. I need to believe in myself.'_

By the time Peridot walked into her office, Lapis was engrossed in a particularly thick anatomy textbook. Peridot smiled as she quietly closed the door behind herself. "Learning lots?"

"Dude! I never knew that there were so many parts to the brain."

Peridot laughed softly. "It's amazing."

"So how was the doctor’s?" Lapis closed the book with a loud snap. "How long do you have to live?"

"Unfortunately another seventy years, give or take." Peridot sat. "I have to wear this sling for another week then be gentle with my shoulder for three months."

"So, I get the feeling I'll need to babysit you."

"Most likely." Peridot grinned at her.

"I guess it's a good thing Jasper offered me a job then."

"She did? Really?"

"Uh, yeah." Lapis scratched the back of her neck. "I told her I'd think about it."

"That’s a good answer. You’ve seen what this job can do to you," Peridot sighed softly. "Alright, Lazuli. Do you want to meet someone even more peculiar and odd than I?"

"Is that possible?"

"Rude. But yes. Very much so, yes." Peridot headed into the halls with Lapis walking next to her. “Just take everything he says with a grain of salt. He means no harm.”

“Good thing I have plenty of practice with you.”

“After all I’ve done for you, you treat me with such disrespect.”

“I tease you because I like you.”

“Is that what normal people do?”

“Who said I was normal?”

“Fair point.” Peridot stopped outside of a closed door. “Alright. Let’s do this.” She knocked and not a second later the door was thrown open.

“The prism lady returns to the great wizard of knowledge in her time of need!”

“Hello, Fryeman.” Peridot spoke through gritted teeth.

“And the prism lady has brought a companion. A beautiful lady of blue.” Ronaldo bowed dramatically, swooping low while kicking a leg out in a flourish.

Lapis watched with a raised brow. She wasn’t sure what to say or do. “Um… Thanks…?”

“Enough, Fryeman. We’re here for information.” Peridot pinched the bridge of her nose.

“Oh! Of course! Come in, come in. I just cleaned my lair this morning.” Ronaldo stepped into the room, leaving the door open for the two women.

“Did that happen after you were ordered to do so again?” Peridot walked in, followed by Lapis.

“That is none of your concern, prism lady.” Ronaldo plopped down onto his computer chair. On the desk in front of him was three computer screens which seemed to be the main source of light in the windowless office. Littered around the base of the computer screens was a plethora of anime figures, enough of them that even the biggest fan would find the amount uncomfortable. “Are you going to introduce me to the lady of blue?”

Peridot grabbed the only other chair in the room and offered it to Lapis. “Lazuli, this is Agent Ronaldo Fryeman. Fryeman, this is Agent Lapis Lazuli. Fryeman is an expert in the occult and active cults in the United States.”

“How do you become an expert in that?” Lapis sat in the chair Peridot had provided.

“Years of research as well as infiltration into the cults to learn their secrets.”

Peridot scoffed loudly. “I’ve never seen you leave this office.”

“How do you expect me to woo the lady of blue if you reveal how lame my life is.”

Lapis laughed softly, bringing a hand up to cover her mouth. “I apologize, Ronaldo, but I’m into women. Well, _a_ woman.” 

Peridot felt her cheeks begin to burn but was glad to see that it had gone over his head. “Before you end up with another visit from HR, how about we talk about the case?”

“I suppose you are right, prism lady,” Ronaldo sighed. He spun his chair around to face his computer screens. After cracking his knuckles he typed his password in, obnoxiously long Lapis noted, and pulled up a few windows. “I believe I have an answer to your queries.”

“For the love of-” Peridot pinched the bridge of her nose again, muttering to herself, though Lapis did hear her. Lapis felt her lips twitch into a smirk. She had never imagined that someone would be able to get under Peridot’s skin so much.

“At first I was just as perplexed as you. I had never seen these symbols before, even with my vast knowledge. That is,” He raised a finger to add dramatic effect, “until I saw the diamond.” When he didn’t get the reaction he was expecting, he tried again, “the diamond!”

“We know about the diamond.” Peridot’s eye twitched.

“Oh. I see then.” Ronaldo’s voice deflated. “Well, the diamond was a clue for me as well. Twenty years ago, there was a cult, though not a very active one, who referred to themselves as the Daughters of Diamond. They only killed once, that we know of though. The way they killed was eerily similar.” He opened a window to a picture of the crime scene.

Peridot leaned in closer to get a better look. “The body was cut into four sections…”

“Eerie.” Ronaldo wiggled his fingers in front of the computer screen.

“What else do you know about the Daughters of Diamond?”

“Well, unlike most cults, this one did not believe in the end of the world. Not much was really recorded on their belief system, unfortunately. It’s unknown who their leader was or why they did kill, but the killer or killers were never caught and the cult vanished without a trace.”

“Until recently,” Lapis chipped in.

“So it would seem, lady of blue, so it would seem.”

“Please tell me you can decipher the symbols, Fryeman.”

“That I can and that I have. Lucky for us, they are using the same symbols as last time and a cypher was found near the victim.” Ronaldo opened another picture, this one of showing a scan of a notebook page. He printed it for Peridot.

Peridot grabbed it off of the printer. It wasn't the best quality, but it would have to do. “Thank you, Fryeman. Is it too much to ask you to keep researching these Daughters of Diamond? I need all of the information I can get.”

“Not at all, prism lady. It would be my honor.”

After leaving Agent Fryeman’s office, Lapis had to bite her lip to keep from asking the one question that had been really bothering her until back in Peridot’s office. She couldn’t contain it then and it spilled from her mouth as more of a laugh than actual words,

“Prism lady?”

“Honestly, I have no idea.”

[ ](https://www.flickr.com/photos/185443884@N02/49656430012/in/dateposted-public/)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey all! I had a ton of fun writing this chapter! It's probably my favorite so far. I hope you all enjoy reading it and always, leave a comment!  
> Another note, Dart isn't able to edit for me for the time being so you'll have to be a little patient with me as I am very much not an editor. I will do my best though! You guys deserve it! - Draconly


	12. Terrify Me

[ ](https://www.flickr.com/photos/185443884@N02/49655629648/in/dateposted-public/)

Lapis was staring out the windows of Peridot’s office while the latter was focused on translating the coded messages from the killer they hunted. She was gripping her left bicep in her right hand rather tightly as the sounds of a pen scratching on paper lulled her into a sense of calm security. She was lost in her thoughts, reflecting on how her life had taken such a dramatic change in such a short time. Not even three weeks ago she was a simple beat cop in a small town trying to run from her old life. She worked as much as she could, feeling as though she had to repay the world for her previous actions and behavior in Hawaii. It was odd to her, now that she really thought about it, that she was standing in the office of an FBI agent in Washington D.C. as they worked to track a murderer together. She still didn’t completely understand  _ why  _ Peridot had asked her to come, she felt less than qualified for everything that she was now tied up in. Still, the calm reassurance that came from her new friend did help to ease some of her worries.

Peridot had stopped writing to watch the blue haired woman. From her posture she could tell that she was uncomfortable with something. Without a clear view of her face, Peridot could still tell that she was chewing on her lower lip, a sign Peridot had learned meant she was lost in her mind. She looked away to the picture frame on her desk, feeling the familiar pain in her heart when she looked at her former partner and lover. Her soft voice broke though Peridot’s mind, repeating some of the last words Anna had spoken to her, “I want you to be happy.”

Happy. Such a fickle word. The definition of “happy” could mean a plethora of things to several different people depending on the stage of their life as well as the situation. Peridot wasn’t a fan of the word, not since Anna had died. That is, until Lapis had come into her life. Now she could say she felt happy once again. She ran a finger down the photo, tracing the outline of Anna’s face.  _ ‘I don’t know if I’m ready to love, but I’m ready to be happy again. I’ll be happy again, Anna. I’ll try my hardest.’  _ She looked back at Lapis and seeing that she was still lost in her thoughts cleared her throat to get her attention. When blue eyes met her gaze, she smiled softly as she spoke,

“How about we call it a day, yeah? We’ve both had a rough couple of days and could use a break. I don’t live far and we can pick up some food on the way, maybe watch a movie tonight.”

Lapis smiled, genuinely grateful for the chance at a break. “You’ll leave your work here? I don’t trust you when I’m asleep.”

“I’ll leave it here,” Peridot said through a laugh. “What are you in the mood for? Pizza? Chinese?” She stood and started gathering the papers spread over her desk.

“Chinese sounds good.” Lapis grabbed her coat. “Can I ask you something?”

“Of course.” Peridot placed the stack of papers in one of the drawers to her desk. She looked up at Lapis, giving the woman her full attention.

“Do you think I should take the job?”

Peridot frowned, taking a moment to gather her thoughts as she pulled her suit coat on. “I don’t know if I can make that decision for you.”

“I know that, but I want your honest opinion.”

“Yes. With continued training under me and a bit of formal education, I have a feeling you would become an excellent agent, Lazuli. But,” Peridot paused to lick her lips, “I know what this job entails. I know you’ve seen some of it, but I fear it only gets worse. Nothing about this job is easy. But the feeling you get when you finally catch your killer or kidnapper… I can’t describe it. Like I told you before, that feeling makes everything worth it to me. If you think you can handle the good and the bad, the pain and the joy, then I would love to have you as my permanent partner, Lapis.”

Lapis pulled her into a tight hug before really thinking about her actions. Her fear, after she realized what was happening, was quickly diminished when Peridot hugged her back, albeit a little timidly. “Thank you, Peri. For better or worse, if I take the job or not, I’m glad I met you.”

“I’m glad I met you too, Lapis.” Peridot closed her eyes, focusing on the pounding in her chest. She had felt this once before, but the intensity of the feeling this time around was astounding and she struggled to stay standing. “Chinese,” she hated how breathless she sounded.

“Chinese.” Lapis broke the hug with a nod. She smiled at her partner, those emerald eyes pulling her in.  _ ‘How long do I have to wait for this, Peri? How long can I control myself?’ _

Peridot opened the door to her office. “Ladies first.”

“Such a gentleman, Peri.” Lapis stepped through the door.

“Don’t let Jasper know. I have an image to uphold with her.”

“Oh really?” Lapis pulled her phone from her pocket. She opened the text from Bismuth, worry rushing into her like a tidal wave,

**Bis Bear** : Call me ASAP 911

“Lapis?”

“H-hang on.” Lapis stepped back into Peridot’s office as the phone rang in her ear. “Pick up Bis… Pick up… Bis!! What’s wrong? Is everything- What!?”

“Lapis?” Peridot watched with worry as a few tears slid down tanned cheeks.

“Wait: Wait! Bis!! Peri works on child kidnappings too! Maybe she can help! I’ll ask and call you right back. Give Chief a hug for me. Please. Yeah. Bye.”

“Lapis, please communicate with-”

“Steven’s been taken, kidnapped.” Lapis’ voice cracked with worry.

“Chief Adam’s son?”

Lapis only nodded in response.

Peridot ran a hand through her hair. “Shit… Lapis I didn’t want to tell you this today but… The message left in the Barriga family’s home had Steven’s name in it.”

“What did it say?”

“Steven will be led to his rightful home with his rightful family.”

“Why didn’t you say something sooner!?”

“Lazuli, Steven is a very common name. There was no way of knowing-”

“Except that the last murder victim was the kid who bullied Steven! Fuck! Aren’t you supposed to make these connections, Peridot!?”

Peridot’s composure stiffened. “I am.”

“Fuck, Peri, I’m sorry. I’m just worried. Steven is a sweet kid and-”

“I’ll talk to Chief Valez. Please remain here.” Peridot left her office in a hurry.

“Oh, fuck…” Lapis grabbed her hair in two tight fists. “I said something wrong…"

***

To say the air in the plane was stiff and awkward was an understatement. Lapis had tried a few times to apologize but was always interrupted with a curt “It’s fine, Lazuli.” Peridot was sitting across from her typing furiously on her laptop. Lapis had resigned to sit in silence for the rest of the plane ride, her eyes closed and her mind running endlessly with worry. When she had first moved to Oak Hill, Steven was the first person she really opened up to. It was strange talking to such a young person about her problems, but he always listened and was wise beyond his years. In return Lapis would always listen to him complain about homework, teachers, and a girl named Connie that he was pining over. Lapis always tried to give her best advice. She had never imagined that one of her best friends would be a boy, but now there was no denying it. She was beyond worried about him to the point that she felt physically ill. Her eyes opened when her phone dinged, a text message. Confused to see that it was from Peridot, she opened it anyway and couldn’t help but break into a smile. Peridot had sent her a picture of a baby penguin. She lifted her gaze to the blonde who was still engrossed with her laptop.

“Penguins. You remembered.”

“It would be awfully rude of me to forget your favorite animal, Lazuli.” She didn’t even look up.

Lapis chewed on her lip for a long moment before asking what was bothering her, “Hey. Are we okay? Are you okay?”

Peridot finally looked up, the serious “Agent Foster” expression plastered onto her face. “Yes. I can’t help but feel very responsible for this. I need to correct my mistakes.”

“Peri, you had a good point back at HQ. Steven is a very common name.”

Peridot shrugged, something completely out of character for her, before returning her attention to her laptop. After another minute of silence, Lapis sent her a picture of a narwhal. The small smile was enough to ease some of Lapis’ worries.

***

Lapis had once thought that her return to Oak Hill would be a happy occasion, perhaps even a little party would be thrown. Under different circumstances she might have been insulted but right now she had one thing on her mind - bring Steven home.

Peridot made her way to the conference room, rolling her sleeves up as she walked the familiar path. She was hyper focused on her task at hand. The noise of the station was just a distant buzzing in her ears. Thoughts, theories, every little detail she knew about the case was swirling through her mind like a typhoon. The first twenty-four hours after a kidnapping were the most crucial. After that, the likelihood of finding the child alive dropped to only seventeen percent. Peridot knew the risks well. She had failed to find a few children in the first twenty-four hours in her career and their names still haunted her. For Lapis’ sake, Steven’s name wouldn’t be added to that list. She walked into the conference room and her hyper focused mind barely registered the two CIA agents talking in hushed voices to Chief Adams. Her eyes closed and she allowed the world return to focus, the sudden thunder of noise making her flinch slightly.

“What do we know?” Peridot’s eyes popped open. She looked at Agent Rogers and Rodriguez with surprise and suspicion but didn’t say anything.

“Steven never returned home from school.” Garnet had her sunglasses off and her eyes were slightly red. “His teachers said he left class but he never got on the bus.”

“Did he have any enemies? Anyone who would want to harm him? I know you adopted him, Garnet, so what about blood relatives?”

“He has aunts, but we’ve never heard from them. His biological father has never been a problem.”

Peridot felt anger rising in her throat. She was being lied to. More so, she was being lied to by the adoptive mother of a kidnapped child. She couldn’t fathom a single secret that would be more important to a mother than her child’s life.

“Garnet,” she started carefully. Coming off as accusing wasn’t high on her list of priorities. “Why aren’t you telling me the truth?”

“Peri!” Lapis was shocked that she would accuse Garnet of lying under these circumstances.

“I told you you couldn’t lie to her, G.”

“Amethyst!”

“What, P? She’s a freakin’ behavioral analyst. Did you really think we could lie to her.”

Peridot leaned her hands against the table, glaring at the three women across from her. “A child is missing, time is ticking away, and you three  _ clods  _ are arguing about lying to the agent with the most experience finding kidnappers. Are you fucking insane!? Do you even  _ want  _ to find Steven!?”

“Of course we do, Peridot.” Garnet stepped up to the table. “There’s more to this than you know or understand.”

Lapis could see the anger rising, threatening to explode, in her partner. She put a gentle hand on the blonde’s shoulder. “Then explain, please. We want to help.”

“The details of the case are classified by the CIA-”

“Pearl. They can help but only if they know.”

Pearl pursed her lips and crossed her arms. “I will need to get permission from Chief Opal.”

“Let’s go make that call, P.” Amethyst grabbed her hand as she walked out of the room.

“Amethyst I am perfectly capable of walking by myself.”

Peridot sat on a chair and Lapis sat next to her.

“I’m sorry, Peridot. We never expected things to go this far. I’ll see if I can help them.” Garnet left the conference room as well.

“Peri? Are you okay?” Lapis put a hand on her knee.

Peridot looked at her. “More importantly, are you?”

Lapis smiled a bit, the corner of her lips more twitching upwards than anything. “No. Not really. I’m confused, upset, scared, worried… I want to know what’s going on so I can help Steven.”

Peridot studied her eyes, reading the emotions held there. She put her hand over Lapis’, curling her fingers around the warmth. “I won’t let anything happen to him. I promise.”

Lapis got lost in the green eyes that were carefully studying her, finding comfort in them. “Right now, you’re the only person I believe.” 

The two of them waited in silence. A quiet comfort passed between them, each of them grateful for the other’s presence. Peridot’s gaze eventually shifted to the window and she absentmindedly began to stroke Lapis’ hand with her thumb, a light blush forming on the cheeks of the other.

When the door finally opened, Peridot blinked back to reality but didn’t relinquish her hold on Lapis’ hand; not that Lapis seemed to mind. Pearl seated herself at the head of the table and neatly clasped her hands in front of her on the table.

“Alright,” she began, “despite the fact that you have no reason to know the more in depth details of this case, Chief Opal has informed me that I am to share those details with the two of you. This case goes far deeper, far more dark than you realize.”

“Terrify me, Rogers.” Peridot said rather dryly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wanted to give you all a surprise update to keep everyone smiling despite what is going on in the world. I hope you're all staying healthy and safe. I'm trying my best to.  
> Thank you all for commenting. It really makes my day and encourages me to keep going. Thank you for the kudos and bookmarks as well. I hope you all enjoy the chapter.  
> -Draconly.


	13. Warming Up to Old Habits

[ ](https://www.flickr.com/photos/185443884@N02/49655629648/in/dateposted-public/)

“I ask that you don’t interrupt and save all questions until the end. The details of this case are not to leave this room and not to be discussed in the open. Does everyone understand?” Peridot and Lapis nodded. “You too, Garnet.” Garnet nodded. “Good. Now… Where to begin… I was assigned this case on my first day in the CIA. I was assigned it because I knew Steven’s biological mother, Rose, before she passed away. Garnet and I both did, we all went to high school together. When Rose passed away during childbirth, the father was in no position to take care of a child so Garnet adopted him.

“Rose…” Pearl paused for a moment, “had many secrets. I didn’t learn about them until I was given the case. It’s difficult to know where to begin with all of this so I guess I’ll just start. The Diamond Authority is, for lack of a better term, a very powerful secret society. They have hands in every government, every corporation, every military. To say they secretly control the world would be an understatement. There are three leaders, and I only know their aliases. Blue Diamond, as she calls herself, is stationed here in America. Yellow Diamond is in Japan. White Diamond is in London. Rose was supposed to be the fourth, Pink Diamond.

From what I’ve gathered, she was in America training under Blue Diamond and in her care. When Rose passed away, there was no one to take her place in the Authority. That is, until they found out about Steven. It’s been difficult to keep an eye on him while I’ve been travelling, but I trust Garnet and knew she did her best to keep him safe. The murders, I assume, have been a scare tactic directed at Garnet and I. We never expected them to actually _kidnap_ Steven, but we should have seen it coming. Questions?”

“These murders,” Peridot spoke first, “are in line with a cult called Daughters of Diamond.”

“I’ve never heard of them,” Pearl frowned.

“Considering all of these cloddy diamond references, and the fact that Steven’s bully was murdered, it’s safe to assume that the cult and society are related, if not one in the same.”

“That’s not all,” Lapis tightened her grip on Peridot’s hand, suddenly feeling extremely overwhelmed by all of this, “We were able to decipher the symbols the murderer has been leaving and the one at the Barriga home had Steven’s name in it.”

“What? Why didn’t you tell us this?” Garnet’s voice had more emotion in it than Lapis had ever heard.

“That was next on my list,” Peridot’s voice took a defensive tone. “The message read, simply, Steven will be led to his rightful home and his rightful family.”

“Dammit!” Garnet slammed her fists on the table.

“Garnet-”

“They have him, Pearl! They have my little boy! I was supposed to protect him!”

“We still have a chance. If we keep working together, all four of us with our combined agencies, we have a higher likelihood of finding him.”

“Agreed,” Peridot pinched the bridge of her nose. “Under these circumstances, the twenty-four hour rule doesn’t apply. From what I understand, they have no reason to harm him.”

“So, what's next?” Amethyst finally spoke up.

“We need to find the murderer. She’ll have more information for us.”

Pearl stood abruptly, but gracefully. “Let’s begin.”

The next few hours were completely filled, no one stopping for more than a few minutes at a time. Peridot, using her knowledge, was able to form a profile of the murderer:

  
  


  * Female.
  * Aged in her 40’s.
  * Heavy set build.
  * White/Gray hair.
  * Fanitical, not mentally stable.
  * Overly friendly with everyone.
  * Has the need to feel important and recognized as much as someone has a need to breathe.
  * Obsessed with the Diamond Authority.
  * Wants to be recognized by the Authority and will grow more and more violent the longer she isn’t.
  * Injured left leg, most likely an old one causing a limp.
  * Most likely drives a van.



When questioned by Lapis about the last one, Peridot replied with a smug smirk and, “I’ll tell you how I know when we find out I’m right.”

With that description, Pearl and Amethyst went to Steven’s school. Garnet went to help with the search and Lapis, after making sure Peridot was okay with it, went along to help. This left Peridot on her own in the conference room. After a quick mental debate, she grabbed her laptop. It didn’t take her long to set up the several VPNs she would use to keep her location and identity secure and it only took her a bit longer to find her way into some CIA databases. She grinned proudly to herself, _‘Looks like I’ve still got it.’_

A quick search found the information she wanted. The folder on The Diamond Authority was a lot smaller than she expected but she opened it nonetheless. She could tell Pearl had been withholding information and that, to be frank, pissed her off. She needed to know all of the information available if she wanted to find this Steven and the murderer. Figuring she only had ten minutes at most before the CIA realized they had a breach, she busied herself with reading.

The Diamond Authority, it seemed, were powerful enough that the CIA was scared of them. Scared of what they could do. With a slight bit of disappointment, but a bit more pride in her organization, Peridot found that they didn’t have much information on the Blue Diamond, the one in America. Yellow Diamond, in Tokyo at the moment, ran the largest weapon smuggling operation in the world. She sold to everyone, it seemed, not picking sides. Peridot made a mental note to avoid crossing her path; she wasn’t afraid of guns but missiles, bombs, and biological weapons were a different story. Accidently starting a war would look bad on her resume after all.

White Diamond was in London at the moment. Less was known about her than the other two so called Diamonds. She seemed to be the leader of it all, though, and her word was law. If ever there was a real life supervillain, Peridot had found her. Noticing her time was up, she quickly closed every open tab on her laptop.

She drummed her fingers on her laptop, mentally debating with herself again. The FBI was bound to have more information on the Blue Diamond and that was the information she _really_ needed. Hacking into the CIA was one thing, but hacking into the FBI - the place of her employment - could have more devastating consequences if caught. However, putting in a request to meet with another internal department _and_ getting permission to share information between said department could take weeks. Meeting so soon with Agent Fryeman had been a stroke of luck.

Peridot made her decision. She opened the software again and set up more VPNs than before, testing the limits of her laptop. She had to be fast, faster than last time, being caught would result in her termination and possible imprisonment for treason and espionage. The irony of it, dawned on her, that she was much more willing to take those risks when it was the CIA and a small smirk crossed her lips. Her moral compass had always been a little _skewed._

It didn’t take her long to find what she needed. Blue Diamond was in Chicago, at least she was a year ago. She hadn’t made any movement as of late. Peridot was surprised to find out that she was in charge of the largest illegal drug operation in the United States and quite possibly the world. Peridot understood, at least to a point, that some world controlling secret society would want to control the weapons of the world, but not drugs. It must be for the money.

Finding what she needed, Peridot quickly closed all of the software. She closed her eyes, inhaling deeply to calm her nerves. She had a direction now, a possible location that the boy was being taken. It was a start. She pulled her phone out of her pocket before calling Jasper’s work number.

“Valez.”

“Chief Valez, this is Agent Foster reporting in.”

“You called my work number. Must be serious. Have you found the boy? Twenty-four hours goes by fast.”

“Not exactly,” Peridot took a deep breath before explaining everything. When she finished, and after a quiet moment, Jasper finally spoke,

“This is outside of your duties and responsibilities, Foster. I won't even mention the fact that you… tactfully acquired information from another department.”

“I know what I’m asking, Chief. I know what my duties as an agent are. But, I know that following this will help me locate the killer and isn’t _that_ my duty? This is bigger now, bigger than what we expected. If there’s a chance I can help, if there’s a chance I can save the boy, it’s my duty as a civil servant to do all that I can.”

“You’re giving me a lot of paperwork…” Jasper sighed loudly. “I can’t promise anything, but I’ll see what I can do. Letting you go to Chicago is going to take a lot of convincing. Technically, you’ve done your job in both situations there. You gave them a profile of the killer and kidnapper. I should order you back right now.”

“I know. I just… I have a feeling Chief. I need to follow this. I’m willing to do whatever it takes.”

“Are you willing to return to D.C. if the answer is no?”

“Yes.”

“Are you willing to return to D.C. if that means leaving Lapis behind?”

“I-” Her voice faltered then faded. “There’s nothing between us anyway.”

“For having three PhDs, you’re a stubborn idiot. I’ll see what I can do, but I’m not making any promises. Call me on my personal cell tonight so we can talk about personal things.”

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Too bad, Foster.” With that, Jasper hung up. 

Peridot set her phone down on the table, very carefully, trying to keep her temper in check. She knew Jasper cared but she often hated the ways it came across. She couldn’t remember the last time she had something to drink and wasn’t sure if that was a good thing.

***

Peridot was busy tormenting Ronaldo for more information on the cult by the time the CIA agents had returned. She looked up at them as they entered. “Well?”

“Nothin’ on the security cameras. The niño left the school, but didn’t get on the bus. We could barely see him walking down the sidewalk.” Amethyst sat across from Peridot.

Pearl started pacing in front of the whiteboard. “Steven’s always been a responsible child… Why would he decide not to take the bus when that is what he’s always done and been told to do.”

“It was a nice day out?” Amethyst shrugged.

“Maybe he made a new friend.” Peridot glanced at Reynoldo’s reply in skype but chose to check it later. “Children are creatures of routine and habit, making a new friend can break that routine and habit. Was he with anyone in the security footage?”

“Not that we could see. The school here really needs to take the security of the children in attendance more seriously.”

Peridot chose to ignore that last bit for now, “Well, another kidnapping would have been reported by now and I like to believe that if another child saw something they would have spoken up by now. Did you check any of the businesses that would be along his route home?”

Pearl stopped her pacing, her eyes going wide and a dumbfounded expression on her face. “No. I… I didn’t think of that.”

“Woops!”

“I’ll text Lazuli, ask her to do it since they’re still out there.” Peridot picked up her phone. “In the meantime, I believe I know where they’re taking him; Blue Diamond is in Chicago.”

“Chicago? Are you sure?”

“Yes. I… acquired some of the information the FBI has on her.”

“You mean hacked?” Amethyst laughed.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Let’s go to Chicago then!” Pearl started for the door.

“Woah! Hold up, P. What would we do when we get there, huh? I know this kid means a bunch to you, but let’s use our brains. And P-dot is right, if they really need him for their authority crap, they won’t hurt him.”

“I know… I know… I just worry.”

“You’re such a mom, P.”

Pearl smiled genially at her partner, “Maybe one day.”

***

Lapis checked her phone when it dinged. Seeing a text from Peridot, she quickly opened it,

**Agent Peri** : It appears Steven walked home from school instead of getting on the bus. Would you be willing to check the businesses, if any, along his route home to see if they have security footage?

**WaterWitch** : can do Peri

**WaterWitch** : u always text so proper like

**Agent Peri** : Yes. Do you always text like a junior high school student? It burns my eyes to read it.

Lapis laughed out loud at the reply. Deciding to leave the agent on read, she went to find Garnet at the command booth; the pop up awning serving as the command center in the search for Steven.

“Hey, Chi-” She was cut off by an impossibly tight hug.

“Blue!! Baby girl I missed you! How long have you been here? Can’t even say hi?”

“Bis,” Lapis choked out. “Air. Please.”

Bismuth let her go. “I’m mad at you.”

“I’m sorry, I really am. I’ll make it up to you, I promise.” Lapis smiled up at her friend. “But right now, I have something I need to do.”

“What do you need, Lapis?” Garnet was standing over a map, her fingers tracing along a line only visible in her mind. “And I’m not really your Chief anymore, am I?”

“I still work for you.” Lapis’ voice rose an octave unexpectedly. She had almost forgotten that Jasper had offered her a job, and had said she would call Garnet. When she only got a hum in response, she continued. “Um, Agent Foster needs me to check the security footage of any businesses Steven may have passed by on his way home.”

“So he walked then.”

“Seems like it. I walked him home a few times so I know the route he liked to take. Is it okay if I go do that?”

“Yes, of course. Bismuth, will you go with her?”

“Sure thing, boss. Let’s go, Blue. I have way too many questions for you.” Bismuth started walking.

“Yay?” Lapis followed but stopped when Garnet called her name.

“For what it’s worth, I think you should take the job. You’re so much more potential than what this little town can offer you.”

Lapis smiled over her shoulder, deeply flattered. “Thank you. I’ll keep considering it.”

Bismuth put her arm around the bluenette’s shoulders, pulling her close to her side. “So, first question. What job?”

“Peri’s boss offered me a job.”

“What? And you didn’t tell me?” Bismuth had genuine hurt in her voice.

“I was going to, I promise. Well, if I took the job.”

“If? _If?_ Lapis, why wouldn’t you? I thought you wanted to be a fed your whole life!?.”

“I do!” Her voice rose defensively. “I do. I just don’t think I’m ready yet.”

“No one is really ever ready for anything, Blue. If people waited until they were, not a whole lot would ever get done.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How's everyone doing? Hope you're all staying safe and healthy. There was an earthquake where I live earlier this week, but don't worry. No damage done. My job is picking up though, but I'm going to try to stick to weekly updates regardless. I will be working long hours though, so forgive my lack of editing. I know a lot of people are probably in quarantine and this is a good form of entertainment so I will do my best to keep delivering.  
> Thank you all, from the bottom of my heart, for reading and leaving comments.  
> Stay safe.  
> Don't feed into the panic.  
> But wash your hands.  
> -Draconly


	14. Peanuts Are Okay

[ ](https://www.flickr.com/photos/185443884@N02/49655629648/in/dateposted-public/)

Lapis and Bismuth’s search had been successful, luck finally turning to their side. They had gotten a license plate number as well as the make and model of the van that Steven was pulled into. Unfortunately, the gas station security camera didn’t have the right angle to see who was driving or who pulled the boy into the van. The van was a silver Dodge Promaster and the plates were from Florida. Once receiving the information, Garnet immediately put out an APB. She then called it a day since there was nothing more her and her police force could do but wait. Wait and hope. Hope that someone would see the van. Hope that the plates wouldn’t be changed. Hope that they wouldn’t harm Steven as Peridot had said. Hope, though often an uplifting emotion, was nothing more than a small comfort to Garnet at the moment. It took every ounce of willpower she had to not go chasing after her son by herself. 

Pearl wasn’t fairing much better herself, but unlike Garnet, she had the freedom to leave. So she did just that, dragging Amethyst with her. She was going to Chicago, following the small chance that Steven was being taken there. She had connections there, some on the right side of the law, some not, but a connection was a connection if it meant finding Steven. 

Now Peridot... Peridot was stuck somewhere in the middle. She could leave if she really wanted to, but her conscience wouldn’t allow that. As Jasper had said, her job there was _technically_ done. Her job wasn’t actually to chase after the bad guy; she simply had to think like them, figure out who they were, then provide that information. But she couldn’t leave. Not like this. She was too personally invested, for better or for worse. Though, she wouldn’t really say that it was for herself. Seeing the way Lapis talked about the boy and how it affected her… That was why she was staying. That was why she felt the strong desire to break role and chase after the bad guy. She wanted to see the light, carefree smile on Lapis’ face again. 

Lapis, by extension of Peridot, was staying in Oak Hill for now. She swore that as soon as she got the opportunity, Peridot or not, she would go after Steven. With nothing more to do at the police station Lapis took Peridot to her apartment. Peridot had initially protested, saying she could get a hotel, but Lapis told her it would be no problem. Lapis unlocked the door, praying silently that her neighbor had remembered to water her plants. 

“I’ll get the heat going as soon as we get in. I’m not sure what food I have, or if any of it is good, so is takeout okay?”

“I’m fine with that.” Peridot followed Lapis inside. “Doesn’t seem to smell, which is a good sign.” 

“Yeah. That’s true.” Lapis dropped her keys and coat on the kitchen counter before walking to the thermostat to turn up the heat. “Still in the mood for Chinese?” 

“Lapis, you’ll come to find that I am always in the mood for Chinese.” 

“Because of Anna?” Lapis spoke without thinking but she quickly realized her mistake. Turning on her heel to face Peridot, an apologetic look on her face, she quickly tried to cover up her mistake, “I’m so sorry, Peri. I didn’t think-” 

“It’s okay,” Peridot interjected with a sad smile. “It really is. And yeah, because of Anna. She cooked a lot when we were home.” 

“Was she good?” 

“No. Terrible, really. We ended up just getting takeout most of the time. It’s a comfort food." 

Lapis nodded. She pulled her lower lip between her teeth and started to chew on it, picking and pulling at the skin. It was a habit of hers that Peridot had picked up on day one, a subconscious way of expressing her discomfort in the current situation. 

“Lapis,” Peridot’s voice was soft, as if soothing a child, “it’s really okay. A couple months ago, I don’t think I’d be able to talk about her at all. But you’re helping, you really are, so it’s okay now.” 

“You sure?”

“Of course.” Peridot placed her hand on Lapis bicep, the sad smile replaced by a gentle and warm one. Bright and happy eyes sucked Lapis in and downed her in a forest of green. 

Lapis was lost then, her mind focused only on the deep forests in front of her. She liked Peridot, more than she really acknowledged, and was getting harder and harder to not say or do something about it. With instinct and desire dictating control, she inched her lips closer. Only when Peridot cleared her throat did she realize. A deep heat crept onto her cheeks. “Sorry…” 

“It’s okay, Lapis. I’m not… I’m not quite ready for that.” 

“But it’s a possibility?” Lapis’ eyes brightened at the thought and a mischievous glint filled them. 

“I didn’t say that. Exactly.” 

“Hmm. That’s what I heard though.” Lapis smiled. 

Peridot playfully rolled her eyes in an attempt to look offended by the teasing. “Dork.”

“Nerd.” 

“And proud of it,” Said nerd huffed and puffed out her chest.

“Okay nerd,” Lapis spoke through a small laugh, “I’m going to go shower. Do you want my address so you can order food?”

“I know your address-” 

“Of course you do.” 

“I’ll ignore whatever that was supposed to mean. Preferences?” 

“Nope. Allergic to tree nuts, peanuts are okay. Make yourself at home!” Lapis spoke as she made her way to her bathroom, her voice increasing in volume as she advanced farther into her apartment. 

Peridot watched her walk down the hall. Bringing up a hand to run through her unruly hair, the breath she had been holding was released from her nose The first thought to hit her mind surprised her, and maybe scared her a little bit, _‘Why did I stop her?’_ She was taken aback by it, it didn’t seem to be her own. Of course logically, she knew that it was her own thought, but it still felt foreign and unexpected to her. _‘She’s really crashing through all of the walls I’ve built to protect myself… I need a drink… A strong one at that….’_

She pulled her phone from her vest’s breast pocket to order their dinner while simultaneously opening Lapis’ fridge. A quick inspection showed that there was no alcohol in the fridge. Not even cheap beer in a can or boxed wine. _‘Huh. I would have taken her for a wine drinker. Can’t really get drunk on wine though. At least I can’t anymore.’’_ Closing the fridge behind her she made her way to the couch while scrolling through the menu of a local Chinese restaurant. A quick call later and dinner was ordered. 

Peridot hesitated before locking her phone and putting it away. Jasper had wanted her to call. She wasn’t ready for a talk like this. She was feeling especially vulnerable at the moment and the walls around her heart always let Jasper through, as if she had her own special door inside. Knowing Jasper wouldn’t let it go, and the privacy of Lapis being in the shower being welcome, she steeled her nerves and called her friend. 

“Hey, Dot.” There was only one ring before the gravelly tones answered.

“Hey, Jasp. You at home?” 

“Yeah. Still working. Henry says hello.” 

“I heard him meowing. What do you want to talk about?” 

“You. I’m worried sick about you. Do you know how much sleep I’m losing because of you?” 

“My health is in order; my shoulder isn’t causing me too much pain thankfully. I am rather tired after the events of the last few days.” 

“You’re using your “Agent Foster” voice on me.” 

“‘Agent Foster’ voice?” 

“Mmm hmn, that’s what Lapis calls it. Your professional voice. Let’s be real, sis. Just me and you on this call.” 

“I’m… I’m afraid of what you have to say.” 

“Damn right, you should be. I know you loved Anna but you have a perfectly good opportunity in front of you to heal and find love again.” 

“I don’t think she-” 

“Don’t interrupt. She likes you, dipshit. A lot. She could be, and has already been, so good for you. I haven’t seen you this happy in years but I know you can be so much happier. And I know you’re afraid, but that doesn’t suit you. What have you told me for literally ever?” 

“Fear is a reaction. Courage is a decision.” Peridot screwed her eyes shut, feeling tears building and threatening to spill. 

“You’ve been reacting, barely surviving, for years now. You’ve been running and hiding from your thoughts and emotions for too long.” 

“What if-” 

“Life is full of what if’s, Peri. Endless amounts of them. The Peridot I remembered, the Peridot I miss, would stare those down and laugh in their faces. How do you expect to do more than just _exist_ if you don’t open yourself up to the good and the bad? Life is hard, life can suck, but it can also be so absolutely wonderful. Lapis likes you, and I know you like her. Open yourself up to her and I bet you’ll be pleasantly surprised.” 

“God,” Peridot choked back a sob, “I hate you.” 

“I hate you too, sis. Do your job, first and foremost, but give yourself and Lapis a chance.” 

“I will. Thanks, sis.” 

“Anytime, Dot. You can always talk to me. But I can hear how tired you are so get some rest tonight. Love you.”

“Love you too.” 

Peridot simply let her phone fall into her lap when the call ended. _‘She’s right... She usually is. I like Lapis, I really do. Jasper would kill me if she found out I just stopped her from kissing me… But I am scared. Losing Anna was one of the worst things that has ever happened to me..._

_The amount of blood was bad, very bad. I had to get her to the car. No other options._

_Her skin was cold beneath my lips when I kissed her cheek. Her blood loss was even worse than I thought. Panic, deep and primal panic rises in my throat. It’s hard to breathe. Hard to think. She gently urged me to get into the car and drive._

_All my fault. It’s all my fault. I wanted to follow the lead. I said we didn’t need backup. All my fault._

_I’m talking to her but my voice is distant in my ears. Drive. Drive. Drive. The only coherent thought in head._

_“Will you finally marry me?” She asks and pulls my attention._

_“I will, Anna. We’ll get married as soon as you’re out of the hospital. I’ll get that ring you’ve been hinting at too.” But I know I’m lying. Lying that she’ll leave the hospital, if she even makes it there._

_Drive. Drive. Drive! Dammit I need to drive!_

_Lights._

_A horn._

_Squealing tires._

_Pain. So much pain._

_“Peri?”_

Peridot blinked a few times. _‘Who called me Peri? Anna calls me Dottie.’_

“Peri? Please say something.” 

_‘Peri… Peri… Lapis!’_ Peridot inhaled a sharp and shaky breath as the world around her came crashing into focus. She looked at the woman kneeling in front of her, a warmth from a hand pressed to her cheek, and worry overflowing from the ocean blue eyes. She couldn’t deny it, she loved those eyes. The shade of blue was the most beautiful one she had ever seen. A deep ocean begging to be explored, a mystery Peridot wanted to solve. Blue was her favorite color, more specifically Lapis’ eyes were her favorite color and she never wanted to look away. 

"Peri, I'm really starting to worry. Please say something." 

Closing her eyes as she took in a deep breath helped calm the storm in her mind. Counting down from ten gave her mind a chance to recollect her thoughts and bearings. It had been almost a year since her mind had betrayed her, trapped her, within the pain of memories. A gentle, somewhat timid hand was placed on her shoulder.

"Peri," her voice was soft, dripping with concern. 

She had to say something, anything, but her mouth wouldn't open. She felt the physical pain, the heartbreak of loss, all over again. She didn't realize she was crying until a soft thumb was brushing the tears away. Her eyes finally opened and the breath she had been holding finally left her lungs. "S-sorry." 

Lapis moved so she was sitting on the couch next to her. "You don't need to be sorry." 

"Just, uh, had a flashback." Peridot rubbed her eyes with closed fists. 

"Do you need to talk about it? Peri I-" she stopped herself short, paused, then continued, "I care about you. Seeing you like this is… is almost unsettling." 

"Heh, why's that?" 

"You're usually so stoic and strong." 

Peridot smiled at her, the gesture emotionless and pained. "Don't mistake my silence for strength." 

Lapis frowned, her brows furrowing together. She placed a hand on the agent’s cheek to hold her head in place as she studied her face. The exhaustion and pain on the woman's face was breaking her heart. She wanted to kiss that pain away, run her fingers through the blonde locks as she slept peacefully in her arms. Lapis wanted to take her pain away and replace it with all of the joy Peridot deserved. It was then that then Lapis realized, _'Oh. Oh shit. I'm in love with her.'_

The sharp ring of the doorbell pulled the women from their thoughts and the other's eyes. Lapis stood, clearing her throat softly. "Guess that's dinner." 

"Must be." Peridot pulled her wallet out. "My treat." 

It didn't take long until the two were sitting at the table next to each other as they ate cheap takeout. The mood hadn't really shifted, maybe lightening a slight bit, though the two women were relaxing like old friends. Lapis had her legs up, stretched out across Peridot's lap. A sense of ease and domestic comfort washed over the quiet of the apartment.

"Can I ask you something?" Peridot grabbed a piece of chicken from Lapis’ takeout box and quickly popped it into her mouth before the bluenette could retaliate. 

"I don't know. _Can_ you." 

Peridot rolled her eyes. "Do you want me to answer that honestly? Because, technically-" 

Lapis cut her off with a laugh. "No. Please stop. Spare me. Ask me your question." She reached over and took a piece of broccoli from the agent’s box. 

"Why don't you have any alcohol? Statistically speaking, most people in your profession drink." 

Lapis shrugged, a playful glint in her eyes. "You must reach a friendship level of at least seven." 

Peridot's eyes narrowed and she pointed her chopsticks at the offender. "Touché." 

*** 

Three days. 

Three days with no news, no sightings, nothing. 

Three days after they had left, Pearl finally called. She had a plan, an idea, so a video call was set up between all of them. Garnet, Lapis, and Peridot were sitting in the police station conference room as they waited for the Skype call to connect. Peridot knew of Pearl’s problems with technology and would be lying if she wasn’t a bit excited to see how this first portion would play out. 

When the call finally connected, Pearl was staring at the computer with a very bored expression on her face. "How do I know if it connected?" 

"You'll see them!" Amethyst’s voice came from off screen in what appeared to be a hotel room behind Pearl. 

"We can see and hear you," Garnet kept her voice level as she spoke but Peridot was sure her hand twitched in slight annoyance. 

"Oh! I apologize." Pearl blushed slightly, just a tint of pink on her cheeks. "Are we all here?" 

"Yes, Rogers." Peridot drummed her fingers on the table. 

"Good." 

"Tell us your plan." Garnet removed her sunglasses. 

"Yes," Pearl nodded. "We may have a way into this Daughters of Diamond cult. If one of us can infiltrate, we can find Steven quicker as well as learn more about Blue Diamond." 

"Will that work?" 

"I believe if we play our cards right…" 

Lapis glanced at a very suspiciously quiet Peridot. Seeing the look on her face made Pearl's voice fade into almost nonexistence. Peridot looked like a volcano of rage about to burst. Her upper lip was twitching as she was struggling to keep her mouth shut. Her eyes had a look of disgust in them aimed solely at the woman on the screen. 

"-Lapis would have to be the one to infiltrate as the rest of us will be more likely to be recognized." 

At the mention of her name, she looked at the computer screen. _'Fuck. What'd I miss?'_

"Are you," Peridot stood, "out of," her hands clenched into tight fists, "your FUCKING MIND!?!" She slammed her fists on the table. 

Lapis flinched at the violent notion, her eyes widening at the sight before her. On several occasions already she had seen evidence of Peridot's temper, but even now she was unprepared for the outburst.

"You know I wrote a thesis on what cults do to people!!" Peridot jammed a finger towards the screen, the digit shaking slightly from the emotions coursing through her. "They fuck people up!! They _destroy_ people!! If you think for one damn second that I'll let you coerce Lapis into doing this I will fucking kill you myself!!!" 

"Agent Foster. Please sit down." Garnet stood. 

"Are you agreeing to this!? Are you clods all out of your fucking minds!!!" 

"I'll do it," Lapis' voice was quiet, barely audible over Peridot's rage. 

"That's a suicide mission and you know it!!" 

"Foster," Pearl tried to be heard over the rage, "I know you're still raw from Anna's-" 

"Don't you _fucking_ bring her into this again, bitch!" Peridot hissed. 

"I'll do it!" Lapis stood. When everyone grew quiet, she repeated herself in a softer voice, "I'll do it." 

Peridot was mortified, terrified. This couldn't be happening. She wouldn't let this happen. "Lapis, please think this through. You don't have to-"

"I know. I want to." Lapis tried to smile through the fear building up in her stomach. "And you'll help me, right Peri? You can help me prepare?"

Peridot could only stare, her eyes wide in disbelief. It was happening again. Just like Anna, Peridot had led Lapis into a situation that would most likely result in her death. If not that, doing this would change her life forever in the worst ways possible.

"What'd I miss?" Amethyst appeared behind Pearl, drying her hair with a towel.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh shit.


	15. Pumpkin Would Work

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A violin piece is mentioned in this chapter. Here's the link:
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y0oxE2Voq6I

[ ](https://www.flickr.com/photos/185443884@N02/49655629648/in/dateposted-public/)

Lapis sat quietly in Peridot's office as she waited for her partner to finish talking with Jasper. She was lost in thought, staring absentmindedly out of the window, reflecting on the last three weeks of her life. She had taken the job as Peridot's partner, first thing upon returning to D.C. with her. She was now a full fledged FBI Agent. Peridot had taken her out to dinner to celebrate, but Lapis had learned to read her now senior agent and read her well; there was a bittersweet fear beneath the genuine joy in her eyes. She was scared. Scared for what would come. Lapis couldn't blame her, really. She was pretty terrified herself.

The day after getting hired and sworn in, her training with Peridot started. If she was to infiltrate a cult, and possibly a powerful secret society, she needed to be prepared mentally more than anything. Thinking of the concern on the blonde's face brought a small smile to her lips.

_"Are you absolutely sure about this?" Peridot stared at the woman sitting across from her. Her mind was hyper focused on analyzing every last detail, every last movement the bluenette made._

_"Yeah. I am. I owe the kid." Lapis tried to give a confident smile, but it came across more as if she was trying not to throw up._

_Peridot ran a hand through her hair, accompanied with a deep sigh. "Okay… Okay… Before we start, I want to come up with a safe word that only we know-"_

_"So forward, Peri."_

_"Humor is a defense mechanism. But I'm being serious. If you get that safe word out to me, I'll do everything in my power to get you out. Hell, I'll even charge in with guns blazing."_

_"Totally not your style," Lapis laughed softly at the mental picture of an Agent Foster kicking down a door with more guns than realistically possible strapped to her small frame and black paint under her eyes. "How about pumpkin?"_

_"Pumpkin?"_

_"First thing that popped into my head," Lapis shrugged._

_"Pumpkin… Pumpkin would work."_

Pumpkin. The simple word held so much meaning to her now. It was a word with a promise; a promise of rescue. One simple word meant the woman she had fallen for would do everything within her power to rescue her. It was a comforting word, a hopeful word.

The training started out easy. Agent Fryeman had returned to give her some basics on how cults operate, how the members behave, etc.

_"Now remember lady of blue, the most important thing is to be submissive. You must give yourself over entirely to them. With you not being fully indoctrinated, it might be hard, but you have to keep the illusion up. Do everything they say, even if your mind screams not to."_

_"You'll have complete immunity from any actions you partake in while undercover." Peridot gently took her hand. She had been doing more of that recently._

_"Got it. Be a mindless sheep."_

The training with Peridot was… different than what she had expected. Though, to be honest, she wasn't quite sure what to expect. Some days were painful, some days were easy, and some days made her want to punch the smug little blonde right in the jaw. She never did though. She knew Peridot was only doing what she had to do.

_"Name!"_

_"Kawai Lazuli!"_

_Peridot was throwing questions at her in rapid fire succession. There was no real rhyme or reason to them, or so it seemed to her._

_"Fourth planet from the sun!"_

_"Uh… Uh… Mars!"_

_They had been going at it for three hours now with no stopping. Peridot had explained the day before that it was an exercise to strengthen her mind, give her confidence under extreme pressure. Lapis was sure it was just giving her anxiety._

_"Chemical formula for water!"_

_"Um… Um…" Lapis was tired and her head was pounding. It was too hard to think. With no real control over it, tears started pouring down her cheeks. She buried her face in her hands, embarrassed for her reaction. Two soothing hands started to rub her shoulders._

_"Hey," her voice was soft, "you did really well. I'm proud of you."_

_"Thanks," Lapis sniffed loudly._

_"Most people only last an hour, hour and a half at most. I'm really impressed. Let's go get lunch, yeah?"_

Lapis found herself completely exhausted on a level she never knew possible at the end of every day. Physical exhaustion was no stranger to her, she had plenty of that while training at the academy, but mental exhaustion was something entirely new to her. She barely had the capacity to make it to Peridot's bed when the time to sleep finally came. She was grateful that Peridot was still comforting her while they slept, as her nightmares still haunted her. Though, a few nights, Lapis found herself giving the comfort.

_"FUCK!"_

_Lapis shot to attention, being pulled from a deep sleep. She looked around the room in a panic. "What is it?"_

_Peridot was sitting up, hunched over, and gripping the sheets beside her with white knuckles. Her breathing was ragged and rapid._

_Lapis' mind was immediately awakened at the sight. "Peri? What's wrong? Can I help?"_

_"Ph-phantom…" She gasped for air, somehow managing to tense her body even more. "Pain."_

_"Phantom pain? Oh! Like, in your missing leg? How- how can I help?"_

_"Can't," Peridot hissed through her pain._

_Lapis did the only thing she could think of, she took Peridot into her arms and held her close. Her slender fingers began to comb through the unruly hair._

_They stayed there until the pain became somewhat bearable._

The training became more and more intense with each passing day. Peridot was doing everything she could to build Lapis' mental guard. If she couldn't be there to protect her, she was damn well going to be sure Lapis could fend for herself. After teaching her the techniques cults used to gain control she would then teach the techniques Lapis would need to use to stay in control of herself.

_"You need to find something, something physical, that can remind you of the real world. It can't be something that can be taken from you. It needs to be something with a significant enough meaning to keep your mind grounded just by looking at it."_

_"First thing that comes to mind is a tattoo. That can't be taken from me."_

_"That's an excellent idea. Don't tell anyone else what it means, not even me. Just go get it. Afterwards, we'll work on deep seeding the association in your mind."_

So she got a tattoo. A sunflower on the inside of her left wrist. It was small, maybe only an inch across, with a bit of a stem on it as well. The sunflower reminded her a bit of Peridot, the yellow of the petals close to the blonde hair color, and of a sunny day back in Oak Hill. That was what would keep her grounded, that would connect her to reality.

Lapis blinked a few times as she was brought back to the present by a familiar hand on her shoulder. She looked at her partner, a fond smile forming on her lips.

"Ready to go?"

"Yeah. Your sling is gone."

"Yup! Finally got the okay." Peridot rolled her shoulder as if to prove that it was no longer bothering her. She picked up a blue jacket and offered it.

Lapis took her jacket, quickly pulling it on. "Any word from Pearl and Ames?"

"No. Not yet. Though, Garnet finally got approved to join them in Chicago. Bismuth will be taking over the station for now." Peridot slid a few folders into her shoulder bag before placing the strap across her body.

"No way? That's pretty cool. I'll have to call her."

"If she hasn't called you several times already." Peridot chuckled softly. She held the door open. "How are you feeling today? You've done better today."

"I don't feel _as_ tired, but I'm still exhausted." Lapis left the office.

"I was thinking of ordering pizza and watching Disney movies." Peridot followed her out, locking the door behind them. She headed out the building with Lapis by her side.

"Lion King or Toy Story?"

"Both?" Peridot took her hand, lacing their fingers together.

"You know, now that we're partners, you really shouldn't be holding my hand."

"Killjoy." Peridot pulled her hand away and promptly shoved it into her suit coat pocket as Lapis laughed.

They walked in a comfortable silence to Peridot’s apartment which was only a few blocks away. The night air was crisp and cool, slightly stinging the exposed cheeks of the women. Winter was approaching quickly if the chill air was anything to go by. Peridot opened the door to her apartment once they arrived and Lapis quickly went into the welcoming warmth of the home.

“Thanks, Peri.”

“Yeah. No problem.” Peridot hung her coat and bag by the door. “Man, it was a long day.”

“You’re telling me,” Lapis snorted softly. As she hung her coat on the second hook.

“Still want to do the pizza and movies?” Peridot headed further inside, going directly to the kitchen.

Lapis followed her in, the layout of the apartment already second nature to her. She had other ideas though, now that Peridot’s sling was off. She went into the living room area across from the kitchen to the bookshelf that had caught her attention the first time in the apartment. It was wall to wall, and floor to ceiling. Every last shelf was covered in books, most of them academic unsurprisingly, but there was one shelf that had caught her eye. One this shelf, dusty from not being used, lay a violin. She knew it belonged to Peridot, she had asked the first time she had seen it, and now that the sling was gone maybe she could play it.

“Peri?”

“Yes?”

“Will you play for me?” Lapis looked at the blonde where she stood where the carpet and tile met; the threshold between the kitchen and living room. She could see the hesitation written all over her face.

“I… haven’t played in a long time.”

“That’s okay. I’m not expecting you to play Flight of the Bumblebee or something.” Lapis gave an encouraging smile, hoping to further entice her.

Peridot couldn’t stop the smile that formed on her lips. “I’ll have to tune him real fast.” She walked over to where Lapis stood in front of the violin.

“Him?”

“Yes. Him. I named him Percy. Most people name their instruments.” Peridot ever so carefully, as if she might break it with a simple touch, picked her violin up. She gazed fondly at the smooth wooden surface while gently brushing some of the dust away. Within a few minutes, Percy was tuned and tucked under her chin. “Last chance to back out.”

“Not a chance.” Lapis seated herself on the couch across from the bookshelf.

“Okay.” Peridot took in a shaky breath as she closed her eyes. After a few moments of stillness, she began to play. The song she played began with a few simple notes, though the heartache behind them could not be mistaken. The melancholy notes were played with such passion it was if Peridot was putting her very soul into every note. As the song began to reach a crescendo, the notes raised in pitch, and the passion somehow managed to grow. Peridot gently rocked as she played, completely engrossed in the song that bore her heart and soul to Lapis in such an intimate, wordless way. When a few tears slid down the violinist’s cheeks, Lapis was sure her heart was breaking as well. Through the notes she could feel and understand Peridot’s every pain, every heartache, every fear. 

When the song reached its end, Peridot moved her bow to the same hand that was holding the neck of her violin. She used the heel of her now free palm to rub her eyes. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to play something so sad.”

Lapis had so much she wanted to say, but no words would come out. She stood and made her way over to her friend, her partner, the woman she had irrevocably fallen for. She stopped when she was in front of her.

Peridot looked up and immediately frowned when their eyes met. “I didn’t mean to make you cry.” 

“Do you hurt like that every day,” Lapis’ question came out just above a whisper.

“I… Um…” Peridot broke the tense gaze to replace her violin on the shelf and collect her thoughts for a brief moment. She turned back to find the oceans of blue still gazing intently at her. “I do. M-most of the time, anyway…” She was suddenly feeling _very_ vulnerable and she did not like that feeling.

“Because of Anna?” Lapis stepped closer to her, completely lost in the emerald eyes that enchanted her.

“Mostly. Other things too. Kids I’ve lost… people I couldn’t help…” Peridot’s voice faded as she spoke to match Lapis’ whisper. “Things I’ve seen…”

“You don’t have to hurt, Peri. At least not alone. I’m right here with you and I don’t plan on leaving you anytime soon.”

Peridot’s lips twitched into a small smile. “I’m afraid of what will happen, Lapis. I loved Anna, but with you it’s different… It’s deeper… It’s more intense… It scares me.”

“Then we can be scared together.” Lapis put her tanned hand on her pale cheek. The way Peridot instantly leaned into the contact made her heart swell. “But when we’re side by side, I feel like I can take on the world.”

“Lapis…” Peridot inched her lips closer, stealing a quick glance at the lips that enticed her.

“I want this,” Lapis’ voice became even softer. “I’m not afraid when I'm with you.” She wanted to close the small distance between them more than anything, but she wouldn’t. It was up to Peridot to decide.

"What are you doing to me…" Peridot pressed her lips to Lapis' not expecting an answer and not really wanting one. She knew what was happening. As soon as their lips made contact, it was like an explosion went off inside of her. A tidal wave of emotions crashed against the rocks off her mind and spread through her veins like hot lava. She’s pulled in, drowning, completely intoxicated and utterly in bliss.

Lapis’ mind shut off the moment their lips touched. As if they had a mind of their own, her hands find the back of Peridot’s head and her fingers tangle themselves in the blonde locks. She deepens the kiss, practically melting under the sensations and emotions flooding her mind. She was lost in Peridot, lost in the kiss shared with the woman who was everything she had ever wished for and so much more. This kiss confirmed what her heart already knew - she was in love with Peridot Foster.

Peridot broke the kiss, the need to breathe winning over. She lifted her hands from the hips they had been resting on to gently dry a few stray tears that still fell down tanned cheeks. “Sorry.”

Lapis laughed softly, a small snort following. She rested her forehead on Peridot's with a smile. "That's a weird thing to say after a kiss." She slowly wrapped her arms around the other woman’s neck.

Peridot couldn't help but smile, Lapis had that effect on her though. "I suppose it is."

"It was beautiful, Peri. The song, I mean. And the kiss too.”

"You're beautiful, Lapis. So beautiful. If I had the talent, I would write poetry until the end of my days about your beauty. You are so beautiful, so amazing, that you make me believe this world is worth living in. You give me reason to smile again."

Lapis didn't know how to respond and her only thought at the moment was, _'Holy fuck'_ , so she pressed another kiss to Peridot's lips.

When their kiss broke again, Peridot brushed some blue locks behind her ear.

"I'm going to miss the blue."

"Me too. I get why I need to dye it black, but it kinda sucks."

"Maybe once this is all over, you can dye it blue again." Peridot smiled up at her, her eyes sparkling with joy.

"Absolutely." Lapis returned the smile and the joy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FINALLY! A KISS!!  
> Here's the link to the song again:  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y0oxE2Voq6I  
> Hey kiddos! Another week and another chapter. I hope you're all staying safe and washing your hands. I work in a medical research laboratory so my life has been hectic, to put it lightly. With all the craziness in the world, I'm glad I can provide some relief and entertainment for my lovely readers.  
> Didn't get too much editing done for this chapter, so let me know if there's anything I need to fix.  
> Stay safe.  
> Wash your hands.  
> Don't touch your face.  
> -Draconly


	16. The 8 Steps: Part One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew boy. Buckle up.

[ ](https://www.flickr.com/photos/185443884@N02/49771318636/in/dateposted-public/)

_Step One: Potential recruits are invited to a non-threatening event with low commitment. Potential recruits are the most susceptible when stressed, emotionally vulnerable, have no strong family connections, and live in poor socioeconomic conditions._

Lapis was told she looked the part; she had lost a very unhealthy amount of weight, and had dyed her hair back to her natural black, but had chopped most of it off in an uneven, unkempt way. The burning concern in Peridot's eyes bore into her mind every time they made eye contact now. It was comforting, in a sense, but also concerning. It would be a lie to say she wasn’t scared of what was to come.

Despite the bitter cold of the Chicago nights, playing the part of a starving homeless woman was relatively easy. In all honesty, Lapis didn’t have to do much. The street corner she spent most of her time at was moderately busy and at the end of the day Lapis found herself with enough spare change to buy a cheap sandwich and soda. It was food but wasn’t nearly enough. Hunger clawed at her stomach at the end of every day. The café across the street only mocked her hunger and Lapis was starting to despise the yellow awnings. The café was important though, a key factor in deciding on where Lapis would play her part. A table tucked in the corner patio provided the perfect spot for one of the agents to watch her. Peridot would watch her most days, occasionally Pearl or Amethyst would take her place. The blonde would watch her from behind a newspaper with the look of concern seeping from her eyes.

As the days began to add up and none of the agents could give her a definitive answer on how much longer it would take, Lapis couldn’t fight the anxiety and panic that was building in her stomach like a stone. Her resolve was waning with each bitterly cold night and it was hard and harder to not run to the blonde agent for a hug and a kiss.

As it turned out, two weeks seemed to be the magic number. Lapis was dozing off in an alleyway not too far from her corner when a hand grabbed her shoulder. Instinct took control when she reacted with a closed and raised fist, ready to defend herself from whoever dared to wake her. A short woman with a terrible haircut gave her a warm smile, though she did retract her hand at Lapis’ reaction.

“You must be starving,” a high-pitched British accent assaulted Lapis’ ears. The woman before her radiated warmth and kindness so sweet it was sickening. After taking in the terrible, bowl-like haircut, Lapis’ eyes were drawn to the blue teardrop tattoo under the woman’s left eye. If Lapis recalled correctly, a teardrop tattoo usually signified that a person was raped while in prison. This didn’t seem to be the case. Lapis quickly remembered her role and simply nodded at the statement and her stomach rumbled in agreement.

“Well, stand up then. My charity group is nearby handing out food, clothes, and medicine; whatever you need really. Let’s get you some soup and a nice warm coat.” A hand was extended.

Lapis accepted the hand and stood. Even if this wasn’t the “group” that had Steven, Food and a warm coat sounded amazing. If anything went wrong, Peridot would be following and watching anyway. Guided by a gentle tug on her arm, she was being led out of the alley and onto the streets.

“Are you all alone out here?” The pitch of the voice irritated Lapis’ ears and drew her out of her thoughts.

“Um, yeah. My family kicked me out a few years ago… I’ve just been wandering ever since… Nowhere really to go, y’know?” The answer had been planned and rehearsed with Peridot until it sounded genuine and natural. Lapis was sure the agent would be proud of how natural and heartbroken it sounded leaving her lips. A few tears even slid down her cheeks, unprompted.

“Oh your poor thing,” The woman grabbed Lapis’ arm and gently petted it as if it was a cat in her lap; the slightly possessive nature to it set Lapis on edge. “A beautiful face such as yours shouldn’t be covered in tears.”

_Step Two: Love Bombing. Potential recruits are showered with praise and attention at the event. This creates an association between the group and positive feelings. This in turn makes the potential recruits want to show up to more events to create a deeper connection with the group and/or a specific member._

The amount of attention Lapis was getting was starting to tire her. All of the praise, all of the affection was empty. Their words, much like the false promise of nectar from the Venus flytrap, were honeyed to hide the poison within. Nothing could describe how much Lapis hated having to play along. A part of her soul left with every fake smile and every thank you she had to give.

At the first charity group meeting, the British woman introduced herself as Aquamarine and the leader of this chapter of the charity group. The number of people there was surprising to Lapis. At least twenty people were gathered under the pop-up awning as food, clothes, and medicine were handed out. Lapis felt full for the first time in days.

Aquamarine came to Lapis twice a week after that first meeting to take her to more of the charity group’s handouts. Gradually the numbers dwindled to four and the tone of the meetings changed. Each member of the charity group would spend their time with one of the three people that were brought and Aquamarine always sat next to Lapis. 

When Lapis happened to mention that she went to a semester of art school, Aquamarine brought a small sketchbook to her the very next day. With every ounce of willpower she had, Lapis managed to not throw the book away. She knew what the “gift” really meant.

With Aquamarine showing up more, it was harder to spot Peridot or the others at the café or following Lapis in crowds. This was the plan and they couldn’t risk getting caught. All of the agents agreed that this group was the most likely suspect in Steven’s kidnapping. Lapis was aware of this, but the knowledge did nothing to ease the sense of uneasiness that washed over her in thick, black clouds. The pit in her stomach throughout the day turned into nightmares late in the night. A lack of sleep was a threat to Lapis’ safety and the mission. Sleep is needed to keep the mind alert and cognitive. Decision making and basic thought process all begin to malfunction and the brain misfires resulting in- well- bad decisions. Making a bad decision wasn’t something Lapis could do. 

Fortunately, a perceptive little blonde came to her rescue. She woke one morning to find a dark green hoodie laid over her. The sweet smell of tea and honey, unmistakably Peridot, filled Lapis’ nose as she pressed the fabric against her skin.

This time, when Aquamarine came to get her, there was a completely different air about the Brit. There was still the honey dripping from her voice but it was somehow… less sweet. Being led to an apartment complex on the other side of town served to only raise Lapis’ suspicions. Normally, they all met at a park or somewhere similarly public.

_Step Three: The prize is dangled just in front of the potential recruits' faces. The bubble of love and acceptance created by the members make the prize seem achievable and realistic, something they can and will have. Special phrases are used to make the group seem above normal society. This in turn creates an “us versus them” mindset to further indoctrinate the potential recruits._

“We have a surprise for you and the other three.”

“Oh?” Lapis glanced down at the woman walking next to her.

“Yes! We all agreed that seeing the lot of you sleeping on the street was an absolute disaster; you’re all too lovely to be stuck in that situation.”

“I appreciate that, Aqua. It has been getting pretty cold...”

“It has been. That jacket is a lovely shade of green, might I add. It somehow brings out your eyes.”

“Does it?” Lapis’ reply came out as more of a nervous, breathy laugh. She pulled the sleeves of the hoodie down over her hands as green eyes invaded her mind. The invasion wasn’t unwelcome, per se, but it served as a painful reminder that she wasn’t sure the last time she had seen the emeralds gazing at her.

“It really does. Paulette, we can’t stand by and watch as a talented and beautiful young lady like yourself continues to starve on the street. My group can offer you a better life, a new family, and a new purpose. We can help you be reborn.”

The surprise for her and the other three was an apartment with the rent taken care of by the group.

_Step Four: Extracting a verbal agreement that the potential recruits want the prize. This is the step in which potential recruits become official members. They are given a new identity and purpose within the group. More often than not, this is when the complete isolation from the outside world begins, the new members are often moved to a new location._

Routine fell into place easier than Lapis expected it to. Although she knew her situation, she felt comfort in it. Knowing what to expect every day was an excuse to drop her guard and relax a little. The exhaustion from her time on the streets was starting to finally wear off.

As much as Lapis hated Aquamarine and Topaz, the hired muscle it seemed, having someone encourage her art after all of this time was refreshing. She had been terribly out of practice at first but it didn’t take long for her hands and mind to remember. Aquamarine would buy her any art supply she asked for, no matter the price. In return, all Lapis had to do was draw some art for the group to use in their pamphlets. In any other circumstances, she would say life was pretty good.

The only real complaint Lapis had was Aquamarine’s near-constant talking about the group and their leader - Blue Diamond. The first time the alias was mentioned, Lapis nearly fell out of her chair. This was the right group, the people who had taken Steven. She paid more attention then to what the Brit was saying. From what she could gather, the group believed they had the key to immortality and would share it with anyone who pledged themselves to Blue Diamond. Of course Aquamarine used a lot of fancier words and imagery to paint a picture of a utopian society.

One day while Lapis was lazily painting away, Aquamarine approached her with the sickeningly sweet grin she had grown to hate.

“Paulette, I have such good news for you!”

“Oh? What’s that.” Lapis glared down a drop of paint that had seemingly jumped from the canvas and onto Peridot’s hoodie. 

“Blue Diamond has seen your art and she is, unsurprisingly, you are amazing after all, very impressed. She wants you to come and work for her.”

“Wait. Really?” Lapis looked at the short woman in shock. This could be her ticket to finding Steven.

“Of course, silly. She wants to meet with you as soon as possible.”

“Let’s go then!” Lapis jumped up from her stool, the painting already long forgotten.

The instant she was inside of the car, Lapis knew something was wrong. The air was heavy and stiff. The moment they left the city limits, her instincts started to scream at her to run. She forced them down, begging them to be silent when the car parked in front of an old warehouse. This was all for Steven. She could do this.

A small yelp escaped her lips when Topaz yanked her from the car with enough force to dislocate her shoulder.

“Ow! Hey!”

“Oh do be quiet, Paulette.” The honey was gone from Aquamarine’s voice, replaced with vinegar. “Be grateful we didn’t knock you out on our way here.”

“But why would you do that?” Lapis was being dragged towards the building. A prey like urge to run for her life built in her stomach. “A-Aren’t we going to see Blue Diamond.”

“No, love. Not yet. Blue Diamond has a greater need for you right now.”

“Oh-oh…”

Topaz shoved Lapis inside, sending the agent a few feet forward and scrambling to stay upright. Before she could get a grasp on her surroundings, a black bag was placed over her head.

_‘Don’t fight back, don’t fight back Lapis. Stay calm and behave. Do it for him.’_

She was being led again, deeper into the warehouse was her only assumption. Lapis tried counting her footsteps but the pace she was being pulled along at kept causing her to stumble and lose count.

“Can someone please tell me what’s going on?”

“Only one?” A voice she didn’t recognize set her on edge.

“The other three aren’t ready.” The accent Lapis had started to loath responded.

“I guess she’ll do.”

Lapis heard the handcuffs before she felt the cold metal sting her skin; it was a sound she was very accustomed to. As the last lock clicked into place, the bag was violently pulled from her head and she was shoved into a room. Not having the whereabouts of her surroundings, Lapis stumbled and fell onto the floor.

“Ah! Fuck!” Lapis hissed. She had landed on her shoulder and was sure something popped.

Topaz stood over her with a look in her eyes Lapis would have almost called apologetic. Before she could register what was happening Topaz had knelt and was cutting her hoodie, Peridot’s hoodie, off of her.

“Hey!”

“You don’t need those clothes anymore, Paulette. Blue Diamond will provide you with everything you need.”

Lapis forced herself to lie still, eyes screwed shut, as her mind screamed at her to fight and resist while she was stripped naked. Cold water was suddenly poured onto her causing her breath to catch in her lungs.

“What will Blue Diamond provide you with, Paulette?”

A ragged breath of air was all that escaped her lips before more cold water was poured on her. Her breath caught again.

“What will Blue Diamond provide you with, Paulette?” Aquamarine asked again with more force.

“Everything!” Lapis’ words exploded from her lips, leaving her lightheaded. “Everything,” she repeated in a softer tone.

“Good.”

_Step Five: Shutting down dissent and disobedience with the threat to withhold the prize. Keeping the prize just out of reach, with the constant threat to have it taken away, inspires good and obedient behavior within the members. Members at this point now believe that the prize is the only thing worth living for and will do anything to gain the prize._

Lapis was numb.

Lapis was hungry.

Lapis was tired.

Time had blurred together and she no longer knew what day of the week it was or how long she had been trapped in the warehouse. Sleep was a luxury Lapis rarely earned and exhaustion so deep was starting to settle like black ink on her mind; irreversibly stained to the very center of her brain.

The warehouse housed a few others like Lapis, all in varying states of decay, where they all served Blue Diamond to earn their immortality. At least that was what they were told. Lapis knew better; they were just packing the drugs Blue Diamond used to fuel her empire. The guilt she felt each and every moment she spent packing the drugs weighed on her more than she cared to admit. The constant reminds of “Doing it for Steven” and “Peridot said I won’t get in trouble for anything I do” no longer had any effect on her tired psyche.

In the precious moments Lapis had to rest, sleep never came. She would occasionally doze off, but the sweet release of sleep eluded her. The tattoo she had gotten was practically rubbed raw at this point. Staring at the sunflower on her wrist was the only form of comfort she could find. 

Lapis was in danger. She knew that. Sleep deprivation was one of the main things Peridot had warned her about. But how to fix that, Lapis didn’t know. So she did what she could, focused on her tattoo and whispered one word to herself to break the silence;

Pumpkin.

Pumpkin.

Pumpkin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is for Ceru. <3


	17. The 8 Steps: Part Two

[ ](https://www.flickr.com/photos/185443884@N02/49811903611/in/dateposted-public/)

_ Step Five: Shutting down dissent and disobedience with the threat to withhold the prize. Keeping the prize just out of reach, with the constant threat to have it taken away, inspires good and obedient behavior within the members. Members at this point now believe that the prize is the only thing worth living for and will do anything to gain the prize. _

Time no longer had any meaning. Minutes, hours, days, had all blurred together into a fog of endless movement. The chill of the warehouse was sinking lower, the only indication that time was still moving; the days were getting colder.

An inky dark enveloped Lapis’ mind, drowning her in a numbing swamp of simple nothingness. Her actions no longer felt like her own, as if she was a shell controlled by some sinister being. It no longer concerned her when, in a brief moment of lucid consciousness, she had absolutely no idea how she had gotten to her current location.

When an all too familiar high pitched voice seemingly came out of the blue, Lapis nearly jumped out of her skin.

“Paulette!”

“Yes?” Lapis turned to face the Brit. She hardly registered how foreign her own voice sounded.

“You’ve proven yourself worthy in the eyes of Blue Diamond. She would like to meet you now.”

Lapis moved her gave between Aquamarine and Topaz standing behind her. This was a good thing. At least it was supposed to be. She couldn’t remember so she simply nodded.

“Excellent! Topaz, please help her out to the car.”

Lapis was lead away from her spot on the packing station by a stern, but somehow gentle grip on her shoulder. The moment sunlight warmed her skin and fresh air filled her lungs, Lapis almost broke down into tears.  _ ‘How long has it been,’  _ she wondered to herself.

A silver van came into view along with a brick wall of recollection.

Lapis had a mission.

Lapis had to save Steven.

With renewed energy and vigor, she climbed into the van. However, it wasn’t long before the soft rumble of the tires on asphalt lulled Lapis into a light slumber.

  
  


_ Step Six: Establishment of guilt. The leader, or higher-ranking member, shame the new members to break them down even further. The sense of guilt also makes the new members feel as if they are at fault, they have wronged the group, and their actions need repentance. This feeling of guilt and shame makes the new members vulnerable to further manipulation and they are less likely to leave the group. _

The sound of a car door shutting jolted the bluenette awake. She sat upright and immediately felt a kink in her neck from sleeping in a weird position. She rubbed the right side of her neck, angry with herself for falling asleep, as she glanced around her surroundings. A dimly lit parking garage provided no clues to her current location. She had to assume they were back in Chicago but had no concrete evidence.

_ ‘God fucking dammit! Why’d I fall asleep!?’ _

The door to her right opened before Topaz reached in and grabbed her shoulder. 

“Let’s go, Paulette!” Aquamarine’s shrill voice echoed against the concrete walls surrounding them.

Lapis got out and followed, feeling sluggish, almost as if her mind was a few steps behind her body. She tried to shake it off, determined to pay attention to her surroundings.

“I hope you’re excited, Paulette. Blue Diamond has asked to see you directly. It’s quite an honor.”

Lapis only nodded in agreement as the three of them entered an elevator. She tried to appear inconspicuous as Aquamarine pushed a button for the desired floor.  _ ‘Sixty-fourth floor. That narrows it down to only 20 or so buildings. God, I should have stayed awake…’ _

The doors of the elevator opened after a short ride to a large room, not a hallway like Lapis had been expecting. She could only describe the room as a reception area or a waiting room, like at a doctor’s office. No expense had been spared in decorating the room. The furniture was made of dark, exotic woods and real leather. The paintings that adorned the walls were all originals from various famous artists; or at least originals as far as Lapis could tell from her one semester of art school. Hanging in the center of the room was a large crystal chandelier that cast an elegant, posh light around the large room. 

The three women walked across the room, away from the elevator, on what had to be the softest carpet Lapis had ever set foot on. They stopped in front of a large desk, made of the same expensive materials as the rest of the furniture. Behind the desk stood two large, audacious doors. Aquamarine had to stand on her tip-toes to see over the desk and for a moment, Lapis thought it might be worth it to laugh.

“Ahem,” Aquamarine cleared her throat loudly.

The woman behind the desk didn’t look up from her computer screen, or if she did it was impossible to tell with her bangs covering her eyes. “You’re late.” Her voice was soft, timid in a way, and had to be strained to hear.

“Traffic. What can I say?” Aquamarine offered in reply.

“Hmm… alright. Blue Diamond is on a call right now. I’ll let her know if you would like to wait.”

“No need Brianne,” a voice came from the phone on the desk, “send them in.”

Lapis was led inside as she willed, practically begged, her mind to be more awake and alert. While saving Steven was her immediate priority, any information she could gather on Blue Diamond would be for a good cause as well.

Blue Diamond was a tall woman, even sitting at a desk, with curves that any woman would kill to have. Her hair was long, a silvery-gray in color, and a portion was wrapped around her neck like a scarf. She held herself in the way you would expect someone in her position to; tall and proud, looking down on everyone she came across. She knew her status in this world and wouldn’t hesitate to remind anyone of it. Her eyes held a danger to them that sent shivers down Lapis’ spine.

Lapis was forced into a chair in front of a desk that managed to be more audacious and snobbish than the one Brianne sat at. She quickly glanced out of the windows behind the woman, noting the direction and surrounding buildings. She wasn’t able to memorize the map of the city like Peridot had been able to, but that wouldn’t stop her from taking in every detail she could. When the doors she entered through suddenly closed behind her, she took a quick glance around and found Aquamarine and Topaz missing from the room. She hadn’t expected to be alone with Blue Diamond. Her heart rate started to skyrocket.

“Paulette, was it?” Blue Diamond spoke quietly, but not in a timid way. She spoke in a way that demanded your attention and ordered you to listen to her every word. “That is your name.”

“Y-yes ma’am.” Lapis really wished she had a gun at the moment. Just the weight on her hip would give her a much-needed confidence boost.

“Lapis suits you better, don’t you think Officer Kawai Lazuli?”

Lapis could physically feel the world crumbling beneath her. She was sure the floor had collapsed and she was now plummeting through the building below her to her death. She needed to regain her composure and regain it fast. Every second wasted would make the lie more and more unbelievable. “I-I don’t know what you mean."

“Oh I’m sure you don’t.” Blue Diamond used her hand to beckon someone forward.

Lapis heard the footsteps behind her but physically couldn’t turn to see. She was frozen in place with one word running on a loop in her mind,  _ ‘Pumpkin. Pumpkin. Pumpkin!’ _

An older woman stepped around the desk to stand next to Blue Diamond. She was on the chubbier side with white hair pulled up into a tight bun. She wore a smile unlike Lapis had ever seen before. It reminded her of when she saw the movie It as a child, the way Pennywise smiled at Charlie from inside the sewers. It scared her more than anything she had been through up to this point. Manic. Derranged. Unstable.

“Is this her, Holly Blue?”

“Yes, my Diamond. I have never forgotten a face. She was in the car when I shot the blonde brat.”

Blue Diamond smiled at Lapis, a dark and devilish expression. “You see? If you keep lying, this will only be harder.”

Lapis swallowed the lump in her throat and called upon whatever little courage and strength she had left to sit a little taller and meet Blue Diamond’s gaze before demanding,

“Where is Steven.”

“Steven is nearby. Safe and sound.”

“Show me. I need to see him believe you.”

Blue Diamond turned her computer screen around so it was facing Lapis. Relief flooded the bluenette and tears burned her eyes. Steven was in a bedroom playing video games with a bag of chaaaaps open next to him. He looked healthy and unharmed, just how Lapis remembered him.

“He’s a very well behaved boy. All it took was telling him that Garnet was being called away on urgent business and that was why he had to come to stay with me, his aunt.”

“Let him go. Let us go.”

“No. I have use for him and, Lapis, I have use for you. I’m sure you’re a smart officer, or I guess it’s agent now, like you can see what is happening here. You do as I say or,” Blue Diamond left the phrase open for Lapis to interpret.

“You hurt Steven.”

“Your words, not mine. But yes. While I need him alive, alive doesn’t necessarily mean well.”

Lapis closed her eyes tightly, her shoulders shaking slightly with a mix of anger and oncoming tears. She was trapped again. Trapped in a position from which there was no real escape. If she couldn’t get the safe word out to Peridot, there would be no rescue anytime soon. Steven had saved her life once, bringing her back from the edges of despair, and it was time she returned the favor to him. She resigned herself to do the only thing she could do,

“Okay.”

“Very well. Aquamarine will take you to see him. You can have five minutes to be with him. Then, you will see what I have planned for you.”

At the mention of her name, Aquamarine entered the room. She walked up behind Lapis and grabbed her shoulder. “Can you walk yet or do I need to get Topaz?”

“No. I can walk.” Lapis stood, albeit on very shaky legs. Now that she no longer had to play the part, she wouldn’t show them any weakness. She was led back to the elevator and upon entering with only Bad Haircut, she momentarily contemplated trying to subdue the woman. The way the short walk had left her winded, however, told her that it wasn’t the best idea. She noted the floor selection again, sixty-two, before risking a question,

“What does Blue Diamond have planned for me? I really hate surprises.”

“Are you aware of what Blue Diamond operates, Agent?” She spat the title out like it had a horrid taste.

“Yeah. Illegal drug manufacturing and sales.”

“Precisely. You get to be the lucky guinea pig trying out whatever new concoctions the chemists come up with.”

Lapis felt her stomach lurch. As a teen she had experimented with drugs, but only a few times. The trips were never good and often left her in a worse off state than when she started. While the occasional bad trip isn’t uncommon, Lapis was sure hers had been on a completely different level of bad. The horrible memories once buried deep into her psyche, erupted like a volcano in her mind. Her chest tightened, her vision blurred, and the world began to spin. The thought of going through that again was almost enough to make her change her mind. She had opened her mouth to say so when a familiar voice met her ears,

“I don’t need you to love me, I love me...” The voice sang.

_ ‘Steven… God, Steven... I almost gave up, I’m so sorry…’ _

Aquamarine opened a door, one Lapis had no idea how she ended up in front of, she really needed to stop zoning out, “Five minutes.”

Lapis quickly went inside. “Steven!?”

“Lapis!?” Steven jumped off of the bed before running to her. He almost knocked her over when he threw his arms around her in a hug. “What are you doing here? Are you okay? Is everything okay? Why are you so skinny? What happened to your hair?”

Lapis laughed with relief, a few tears sliding down her cheeks. This was Steven, without a doubt, and he appeared to be in good health. She hugged the boy back with all of the strength she could muster. “I’m okay. I’m okay.”

“Liar.” Steven pressed his face against her stomach, his voice becoming muffled. “You’re not okay.”

“You don’t need to worry about me, buddy. I’m more worried about you. Have they hurt you?” Lapis combed her fingers through his hair.

“No. But they lie to me too. I just want to know what’s going on and why I can’t go home. Mom would never leave without saying goodbye.”

“You’re a smart kid, Steven. I don’t have much time, so I’m sorry that I can’t explain. I need you to promise me that you’ll behave. Don’t do anything to make them angry.”

Steven let out a loud and dramatic sigh before lifting his chin to look up at her. “Okay. I promise.”

“Good. We’ll be out of here soon, okay?”

“You said you don’t have a lot of time… Where are you going? Are you not staying here?”

Lapis gave him the bravest smile she could muster and hoped it was convincing enough. “I can’t, buddy. There’s some stuff I gotta do. But I promise, as soon as we can, I’ll take you to the beach again so we can continue your surfing lessons.”

“Pinky promise?” Steven held up a pinky.

“Pinky promise.” Lapis curled her pinky around his. “Beach summer fun buds?”

“Beach summer fun buds.”

_ Step Seven: The “carrot on the stick” treatment. The leader will reward for good behavior and punishes for bad behavior. All the while the reward is constantly dangled in front of the member’s face to keep them obedient. Like leading a horse forward with the promise of a carrot it can never reach. _

Lapis woke in darkness. The cold concrete beneath her was the first thing to register in her mind; pain quickly followed. A dull ache spread from head to toe but a sharp, burning, pain overshadowed it. As a small hiss escaped her lips, Lapis quickly reach a hand to the spot on her neck. After a moment of gently feeling the skin there, she felt a small bump. Realization hit her like a tsunami and she sat up far too quickly. She leaned forward and grabbed her head, hoping to stop the vertigo, while piecing together what she could.

_ ‘Saw Steven… ah fuck, my head… Left the room… Was I drugged?’ _

A light flicked on, invading the darkness and interrupting her thoughts. Before her eyes had time to adjust, Lapis attempted to take in her surroundings. A room, or more accurately, a cell surrounded her with concrete. There was no window, no furniture, nothing besides the four walls, a door, and herself. 

Lapis continued to rub her neck as she looked around and she moved down to rub her shoulder, it dawned on her; she was naked. The door clicked and she quickly covered her breasts and crossed her legs.

Two men stepped into the room. They were both wearing lab coats, but one had a clipboard and the other a syringe. Lapis backed away from them until her back hit the wall. She was trapped.

“Lysergic acid diethylamide, baseline test.” The man with the clipboard spoke.

_ ‘Lyser… lyser…’  _ Lapis racked her exhausted brain for the information she was looking for.  _ ‘Lyser- Oh fuck no. LSD.’ _

“Administering dose based on subject 5-X-G’s weight.” The man with the syringe grabbed her arm.

Lapis was frozen, a fear so strong controlling her mind that her basic instincts of fight or flight completely turned off. The feeling of the needle piercing her skin felt as though it was white-hot but still she couldn’t react. She was trapped inside her own mind as her body betrayed her.

“Dose of lysergic acid diethylamide administered at o’ six hundred hours.”

As quickly as they came, the two men left.

Lapis stared at the door while hot tears ran down her face. Her breath came out in shakey, strained gasps. Remaining calm and in control was imperative. She knew from experience that having a panic attack would only speed the drug through her system and in turn enhance the effects. Though try as she might, the panic quickly took hold.

She couldn’t tell the exact moment it started. It was slow, the drugs waltzing into her brain and taking hold. Slowly, like ink spreading on paper, dark shapes filled her vision. They had no real form that Lapis could make out and anytime she tried to stare at them to figure it out, they would be gone. The voices soon followed. Incoherent voices flew around her head like flies drawn to a corpse. They spoke words she didn’t, or couldn’t, understand. Their assault was relentless and increased in volume until they were shouting at her. It felt like hours passed with the screaming voices and dark shapes flashing across her vision. It was almost impossible to breathe but her chest continued to tighten.

Then, without any warning, it stopped. Sweet silence filled her ears. Lapis gasped for air, trying to fill her lungs, and allowed herself to close her eyes for just a moment. When she opened her eyes again the darkness had returned. It was one large mass across the room from her, swirling and shifting as if it struggled to exist in our realm.

Slowly, the darkness began to take shape. Incomprehensible at first, Lapis quickly recognized the form of a human take place. When a horribly mangled form of Peridot took shape she could only scream. Her jaw was broken, separated from the upper half of her skull with only a few strips of her skin keeping it in place. Her right arm was missing completely, but not from a clean cut. The skin and muscle were jagged and uneven like it had been torn from her. The form of Peridot took a few steps forward causing Lapis to retreat to the furthest corner away.

The chemicals had taken full effect in her mind and for this was now her reality. Her previous life, her real life, no longer existed. At this moment, this was all she had ever known. This horrible, disfigured form of the woman she had fallen for, was the only Peridot she had ever known. She was trapped in a drug-induced nightmare that had become her literal reality.

As the Peridot continued to advance, Lapis once again opened her mouth to scream but words spilled out instead,

“Please, please Peri… I'm sorry… I'm so sorry!"

The Peridot tilted her head to the side at an unnatural angle but didn't stop. Lapis could only watch as she got closer and closer until she was standing right in front of her. Then slowly, inch by inch, the skin covering her face began to rot. It was slow, starting with the skin turning a sickly gray until it fell off in chunks. The exposed muscle underneath was wet and shiny as it started to melt away into a yellow pus that dripped down in thick drops.

Slowly.

Slowly.

All of the flesh surrounding the skull melted until there was none left.

Lapis could only watch, eyes wide and unblinking. Tears rolled freely down her cheeks as the horror of what she was seeing consumed her every thought.

_ Step Eight: Control of identity, information, and environment. The leader gains complete control over the lives of the members. The new identity and purpose control identity. No contact with the outside world controls the information received. The members being unable to leave controls the environment. With this complete control, the leader can do whatever they please with the members. _

Every day brought a new formula of drugs, sometimes more than once a day. Lapis was a shell, void of thoughts or purpose. Her mind was breaking, shattering to pieces in her drug-fueled reality. 

Was Lapis even her name to begin with?

Who was the blonde that haunted her day and night?

What was Steven?

Only one thought was coherent, though the meaning had left her long ago.

Pumpkin.

Pumpkin.

Pumpkin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew boy. Everyone okay?  
> No?  
> Good.
> 
> Thank you all for reading and enjoying my story so much. I appreciate all of the comments and kudos. Seriously, they make my day. So please comment! Even if it's just, "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH." Let me know what you think about this chapter. Can't wait until the next one.


	18. Burying Emotions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to Trystine for reading through this. <3

Peridot had finally found something she hated more than Mondays. 

Every. 

Last. 

Thing that was happening in her life right now. 

Watching Lapis lose weight and be reduced to practical skin and bones infuriated her. Seeing the disappointment in those blue eyes when the mirror showed black hair instead of blue for the first time almost broke her heart. She had known Lapis loved her blue hair, but not the extent of that love until she saw that look. Peridot had to look away as most of her hair was cut off, Lapis had to look the part she was playing after all, but the vice-like grip she exerted on Peridot’s hand was enough to tell the later that she was hating it just as much. 

Beyond that, Peridot had a hard suppressing her need to protect instincts and as a result, she _insisted_ on doing most of the watching over Lapis. She only took time to sleep when Pearl called Jasper and her superior ordered her to take a break and sleep, but only after a lot of arguing. The cafe had decent food, at least, but eating only made her feel guilty as she watched her… her… well, they never defined what sort of relationship they now had. 

After one of the first weekly check-ins, Pearl found Peridot sitting on the balcony of the apartment they were renting. The blond was staring aimlessly into the darkened sky. 

“Other than being cold and hungry, Lapis is doing fine.” 

“I still don’t see why I couldn’t have gone…” Peridot grumbled into the collar of the hoodie she was wearing. 

“Because talking to her would have made this harder on you both.” 

Peridot rolled her eyes, “Like _you_ would know.” 

“I would and I do, Foster.” 

“You know, Rogers, I’ll never forget the first time we met, but I’ll be damned if I stop trying to.” 

“You’re as disappointing as an unsalted pretzel, Foster.” 

“And you bring everyone so much joy,” she paused for a beat, “as soon as you leave the room.”

Pearl clicked her tongue, “When are you going to take that hoodie off? You’ve been living in it since we got here.”

“As soon as it’s ready.” Peridot left the balcony without an explanation. 

It didn’t take long for someone to approach Lapis. Watching the woman with a terrible haircut, Peridot had to suppress every burning urge screaming in her mind for her to draw her weapon and protect her partner. But she couldn’t. Doing so would ruin their carefully calculated plan.

As she watched them interact, her revolver felt like it was gaining weight in its holster under her arm. When Lapis was suddenly being led down the street, Peridot had to scramble to get up and follow.

This proved more difficult than the stubborn agent would ever admit. Following a target inconspicuously wasn’t exactly Peridot’s strongest ability. Her steps tended to land heavy no matter how hard she tried, her prosthetic made sure of that, and her anxiety over the situation tended to cause her to follow too closely.

***

Logically, Peridot knew she had to step back. Lapis _could not_ be found out. All of the logic in the world, however, did nothing to ease her worries and provide her comfort. Lapis was out of her sight far more often than Peridot was comfortable with. If she had her way, she would be perched on a rooftop with a pair of binoculars to watch her partner with every waking moment. On the rare occasion she could check on Lapis, although from a distance it relieved her to see that she had gained some weight back and her hair was almost back to the previous length.

All of that relief was gone the instant the moment Peridot noticed her eyes. Dark bags circled them, and the brilliant blue was dull from lack of sleep. Peridot came to the conclusion that the nightmares must have returned. While she couldn’t be there _physically_ for Lapis, there was a way she could provide some comfort.

“This is too risky, Foster.”

“I can’t just sit back and watch while she’s in pain, Rogers.” Peridot finished tying her shoe before standing. “Besides, it’s three in the morning and I’ll be careful. I’ve been practicing my quiet walking.” 

Pearl sighed, crossing her arms over her chest, “You’re about as quiet as a howler monkey.” 

“You have a face that makes onions cry.” Peridot smiled at the willowy woman, no anger in her words. 

Pearl returned the smile, “You, my dear friend, are the human personification of period cramps.”

“Ha! That’s a good one. I’ll be back soon. Thank you. For everything.” Peridot rushed out of the door before Pearl could stop her.

A short walk found her in the alleyway Lapis had been sleeping in. Walking up to and seeing her partner in the middle of a nightmare almost made Peridot throw the mission out the window entirely. She knelt next to her before leaning over and pressing her lips to Lapis’ temple. _‘God… Lapis I’m so sorry… I never wanted this to happen… If I could take your place I would. I swear I’ll make this up to you as soon as it’s over. I love you.’_

Peridot froze at that last thought as she processed it. From an analytical standpoint, Peridot knew it had to be true. All the typical signs of being in love with someone were undoubtedly there. Subconsciously or not, she had been ignoring those signs within herself. As she ruminated on it, Peridot realized that the thought hadn’t scared her like she would have expected. If anything, she felt a calm reassurance and a deep joy in her heart.

Only slightly worried about waking the woman she loved up, she pressed another kiss to her temple. This seemed to calm the nightmare that plagued Lapis, and Peridot was rather pleased at that. As carefully and quietly as she could, she laid the hoodie she had been wearing almost every hour of every day since they had arrived in Chicago over Lapis. She hoped her scent would linger on the fabric for longer than a few days. 

*** 

“What do you mean she hasn’t come out of the apartment yet!?” 

“Peridot, please calm down.” 

“I am calm, Garnet!” With a look from the woman, Peridot sighed, “I am calm.” 

“Her tracker is still on,” Amethyst turned the laptop around. The screen showed a map of the city with a red, blinking dot. “Also, she’s moving around inside the place, yeah? Must mean she’s alive.”

Peridot ran her hands down her face, suppressing the urge to groan. “I don’t like this. I don’t like not being able to _see_ her.” 

“Neither do I, Foster. But this is a good sign. They must have accepted her into the group, which means we’re one step closer to finding Steven.” 

“Yeah, P-dot. It sucks ‘n all, but at least we know she’s alive. You did a good job training her, have a little faith.” 

“Lapis has a sound mind and a strong will.” Garnet nodded, agreeing with Amethyst. 

“I- I just-” Peridot groaned. They were right, and she knew it, but it didn’t make the whole situation any better. “I need a drink…” 

“Nope!” 

“Hypothetically, Rodriguez.” Peridot fought the urge to punch the latina. She really did _need_ a drink though. She was feeling too many emotions at once and her head was pounding with them. 

Deep down, a voice whispered a truth she was trying to shut out - if she started drinking in this situation, she wouldn’t be able to stop herself. The enticing numbness of intoxication would wrap around her mind and the sweet relief of emotions would never let her go. As much as she wanted let go of her inhibitions and surrender to the sweet nothingness she couldn’t. She wouldn’t.

*** 

“She’s moving!” 

“What!?” Peridot abandoned her cereal at the kitchen table, stumbling over her feet as she raced to the couch Amethyst was perched on. “Where to!?” 

“Looks like they’re headin’ outta town.” Amethyst pointed at the map on the screen. 

Peridot did not like that. She did not like that one bit. 

“Keep an eye on her, Amethyst. If she passes the seventy-five-mile mark, let us know.” 

“Can do, P,” Amethyst responded with a halfhearted, two-finger salute. 

“Why,” Peridot struggled to keep her voice calm and even, “don’t we follow them?” 

“Because there’s no need,” Pearl stated matter-of-factly. 

“No need!? No need!? She’s leaving the city!!” 

“Yes. She is. As I said, it’s not a worry until they pass the seventy-five-mile mark. Honestly, Peridot, can you act like a professional agent? You’re letting your emotions towards Lapis sway your logic. It’s very unprofessional of you.” 

“Don’t insult me, Pearl,” Peridot spat at the agent. 

“I’m not insulting you, I’m describing you.” 

“At least I have someone to love.” 

Pearl eyed Peridot up and down, anger in her eyes, “Looking at you just reminded me I need to take the trash out.” 

Peridot grabbed her jacket and stomped towards the door. “If you’re going to be a two-faced bitch, Rogers, at least make one of the faces pretty.” She slammed the door on her way out.

Peridot was angry, oh so bitter, and on the verge of murdering a certain CIA agent. The anger burned all reason and logic in her mind until only ashes remained. She walked, no destination or direction in mind, through the cold streets of the city. The last time she had felt anger so intensely, her life spiraled down and out of her control and almost ended.

When Peridot ended up walking past a dive bar, her feet stopped of their own accord. No loud music, dim lighting, and leather stools… this was her kind of bar. Telling her inner voice to kindly “Shut the fuck up”, Peridot went inside. 

For too long now she had been relying on alcohol to drown out her pain, anger, and every last emotion that she no longer knew how to deal with. Why confront your fears when you can just drown them, after all. 

Sliding into one of the stools at the bar, her eyes immediately went to the top shelf. Unsurprisingly, this bar didn’t boast a large selection of the more refined and expensive liquors Peridot had become accustomed to. However, anything would work at this point. 

When the bartender, a titan of a man, stopped in front of her, Peridot pulled out her ID and ordered her go-to drink, “Jack and coke.” 

The morning hangover filled her head with a familiar pain. The comfort it brought would concern any normal person, but Peridot was past caring about her health. The pain was familiar, like an old friend. 

Pearl’s shrill voice filled her ears, resulting in a hiss from the agent. The voice that followed, however, was enough to make her jump right out of her skin. The deep, gravelly tone could only belong to one person. 

Panicked, Peridot forced herself out of the bed she had been laying in. She ran her hands through her hair in an attempt to tame it before using the inside of her shirt to scrub her tongue; hopefully removing any hint of whiskey on her breath. 

Peridot nearly screamed when the door to the room was slammed open. The anger in Jasper’s eyes was enough to almost make her tremble. Almost. 

“What the hell is wrong with you!?” 

“I- um- what do you mean?” 

Jasper slammed the door shut behind her. She took a few steps into the room. “I get a call in the middle of the night? from Agent Rogers saying you went out _drinking_!? Care to explain that!?” 

She opened her mouth, but no words came out. What could she say? 

Jasper sat on the bed with a loud sigh. “Dot,” her voice was quiet now and full of exhaustion, “why?” 

Peridot looked down at her feet, only now realizing that she had slept with her prosthesis on; the stump was going to be irritated for sure. “I couldn't deal with everything… I didn’t want this; I didn’t want this to happen to her. I just… Couldn’t…” 

“Dot, you need help-” 

“I don’t-” 

“You do, alright? And I’m tired of you pretending like you don't. I’m asking you as a friend, but if I need to, I will order it. After this, I’m taking you off duty until you’re cleared to return. The only reason I’m not ordering you back right now is because I know how you feel about Lapis.” 

Peridot clenched her eyes shut, fighting the oncoming tears, “I fucked up…” 

“Yeah. You did. Dot, what would’ve happened if she got the safe word out to you last night while you were completely hammered?” 

A small sob escaped her tightly closed lips, “Oh God…” 

“Look, maybe all of this is way late, you know? I should’ve gotten you help earlier.” Jasper ran a hand through her hair, “Any other agent on my team and I would’ve…” 

Peridot dried her eyes. “I’m sorry, Jasp. I really am. It won’t happen again. And you’re right, I need help.” 

“I’m glad you can finally see it. Look, we can deal with this more later. How bad is your hangover?” 

“Nothing I haven’t dealt with before.” 

“Good.” Jasper stood, “I’m tired of these CIA lap dogs sitting around and watching. Let’s go check up on your girl.” 

Peridot looked up at the Amazonian woman, shock plastered on her face, “Eh, what?” 

“I don’t like just sitting around. Nothing gets done. The latina one said something about a warehouse outside of town? Let’s go and keep an eye on your girl.” Jasper grinned at her. 

Peridot returned the grin, a new, stronger, fire igniting inside of her. 

*** 

The two FBI agents found a perch on a nearby rooftop that gave them a good view of the warehouse from the outside but they couldn’t make out many details of the inside. They still hadn’t been able to spot Lapis, but her tracker showed she was inside. 

Enough people came and went, often enough that the two kept watch every hour of the day. They took turns sleeping, going to get food, and watching. To pass the time, they talked about everything and anything. It was as if they were back in the foster homes together again, sharing everything to the only person they really had left in their life. 

“So you think you might be in love again, huh?” 

Peridot nodded, swallowing her bite of a sandwich before talking. “I think so… It’s scary, terrifying, but in a good way? I don’t know. It’s been so long that I’m not sure if I’m interpreting the emotions correctly.” 

“Hmm,” Jasper hummed while drinking some of her coffee, “You haven’t known each other for that long.” 

“I know!” Peridot threw her hands into the air to stress her point, “And that fact doesn’t help!” 

Jasper laughed, “You brainiacs are all the same. Everything is logic and facts. Sometimes feelings can’t be confirmed with facts right away. You need to take the leap and find out.” She lifted the binoculars to her face again. 

“I’m not very good at jumping.” 

“Yeah, I know, pipsqueak. Remember when- Oh. Oh shit.” 

“What!?” Peridot lunged for the second pair of binoculars. 

“Dot, she’s here.” 

Peridot swore her stomach did a literal backflip inside of her, “Please tell me you don’t mean who I think you mean.” 

“I mean who you think I mean.” 

Peridot quickly brought the binoculars to her eyes. After a moment of focusing, she looked at the entrance to the warehouse and felt her entire world stop. The color physically drained from her face. The woman, no, the monster that had killed her parents and left her an orphan, was walking into the warehouse. 

“Dot, you’re shaking.” 

Peridot would never forget that face, even if it had aged a bit. She had watched, watched as her parents were butchered in the kitchen, watched the monster laugh the entire time she did it. The urge to vomit took over and she barely managed to pull her head away from the binoculars in time. 

“Woah! Dot, take a breath for me.” Jasper glanced at her friend. 

“What is _she_ doing here!?”

“She must be involved somehow.” Jasper paused for a brief moment, “They’re moving Lapis.”

“What!?” Peridot forcefully brought the binoculars up to her face, letting out a few strings of curses when one of the eyepieces jabbed her eye. She forced her eye to open past the pain and looked at the warehouse entrance.

She _barely_ recognized the shell of a woman that walked out.

What had they _done_ to Lapis?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up.” - Neil Gaiman


	19. Bottom of the Deep Blue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize that this one is on the shorter side, but including it in the last chapter would have made it too long.

[ ](https://www.flickr.com/photos/185443884@N02/49857754577/in/dateposted-public/)

Lapis hadn’t moved from the apartment building for almost a week now. In fact, she hadn’t been moving at all.

Peridot was losing her mind. While Pearl, Amethyst, and even Jasper were caught up in the legality and bureaucracy of the situation- trying to find a  _ legal  _ way to infiltrate the building- Peridot spent her days staking out the large tower of apartments.

The Marina towers were not the tallest buildings in Chicago, but they were certainly among them. Nicknamed the “corn cob” towers by the locals, the apartments housed a lot of esteemed people. There was no doubt Blue Diamond, Steven, and Lapis were inside; the sixty-third floor if Lapis’ tracker was correct.

While Peridot waited she did what she did best, memorize information. The floor plans of the two towers, the schedule of the staffing, what cars left, and at what time- all of it. The towers were right against the river running through the city so even sewer maps were absorbed into her mind. 

The cold Chicago night bit at her exposed cheeks as she sat on a rooftop across from Lapis’ prison. Her fingers had long grown numb as they held the binoculars in a tight death grip. She was so focused on her task that she didn’t hear the limbering behemoth of her friend sit next to her.

“Dot.”

“Ah! Shit.” Peridot nearly jumped out of her skin. She was lucky to catch the binoculars before they hit the concrete rooftop.

“What have you learned?” Jasper held out a styrofoam cup. “It’s tea.”

“Thank you.” Peridot took the cup. She brought it to her lips, pausing for a moment before taking a sip. “Nothing more than I already know.”

“What have you seen?” Jasper focused her gaze at the towers.

“The one with the bad haircut comes and goes a lot. I haven’t seen the one who killed my parents again.”

“No sign of the boy?” Jasper grabbed the binoculars.

“Not yet.” Peridot didn’t protest. She took another sip of tea. “Have the ones at power given us permission to infiltrate yet?”

“Our boss says we have enough evidence to go ahead, even was willing to send a squad to help. The CIA is a bit more tricky.”

“Yeah… they’re not supposed to operate on American soil…”

“Exactly, Dot. I would love their help though,” Jasper paused for a beat, “Hey. The boy had curly hair and was a bit chubby, right?”

“Hmm? Yeah.” Peridot looked at her friend.

“I think I see him.”

“What!?” Peridot snatched the binoculars from Jasper’s hands. She held them up to her eyes. “Where?”

“Eleven o’clock, sixty-third floor.” Jasper rubbed her nose. Peridot could have just asked for the binoculars instead of forcefully grabbing them from her face.

“That’s him. That’s definitely him. We need to tell the others.” Peridot jumped to her feet.

The two made their way back to the shared apartment as quickly and as legally as they could. As soon as the door was unlocked, Peridot burst through exclaiming,

“Jasp saw Steven!”

“What?” Pearl jumped up from her spot at the kitchen table, her meal now completely forgotten.

“Who saw Steven?” Garnet ran into the common area from one of the bedrooms.

“Chubby kid with curly hair? Yeah. He’s definitely there.” Jasper sat on the couch and Peridot sat next to her.

“Then let’s go get him!” Amethyst grinned.

Pearl started pacing at an anxious, rapid pace in the kitchen of the apartment. She held a hand to her mouth and her face was stuck in a look of horror.

“C’mon, P! We need to do something!” Amethyst watched her partner.

“Amethyst we will  _ lose  _ our jobs! Possibly be prosecuted! No we will most definitely be prosecuted.”

“So what!? Savin’ a life is more than worth it!”

“I have to agree with Amethyst.” Garnet sighed softly. “I need to save my son…”

Pearl groaned loudly, finally giving in. “Fine!”

“Now that’s more like it!” Jasper stood from her spot on the couch. “It’s time to take action. Agent Rogers, come with me to get some firepower.”

“I- what?”

“Let’s go!” Jasper grabbed Pearl’s wrist before dragging her out of the apartment.

“I- I- just hold on a moment!”

Amethyst laughed once the door closed. “Oh man!”

Garnet looked at the couch where Peridot was staring at the wall with an empty expression. “Peridot?”

“Yes?” Peridot blinked a few times.

“I’m sure Lapis is fine.”

“Don’t worry about me, Garnet. Worry about your son.”

Pearl buckled herself in. “I can’t believe I’m doing this…”

“Too late for that,” Jasper laughed. “But don’t worry. I’ll vouch for you.”

“I’m sure that will help my situation, Agent Valez.” Pearl responded with sarcasm.

“You can call me Jasper. I never did thank you for calling me that night.”

“I called Foster’s superior as the situation warranted.” Pearl gazed out of the car window.

“If there’s one thing I’ve learned from Dot, it’s how to spot a lie.”

Pearl sighed loudly. “You behavioral agents are all the same… I do care for her, alright? We were roommates in college for a couple of semesters. We had some very different opinions on a serious matter that caused us to grow apart. The bullying, the insults, it’s just what we do now.”

“I remember her letters about you. She’s always talked highly of you.”

“If you’re trying to get me to apolo-”

“I am and you should. I’m going to talk to her too.”

***

A plan was made, redone, and remade until all of the agents could agree it was the safest option. Nerves were high and the tension between the women was thick enough to cut through.

Peridot was waiting with Pearl in the lobby of the Marina Towers while Jasper and Garnet waited on the roof; their combined military experience making them most suited for that aspect of the plan. Amethyst was sitting comfortably in a car parked a block away doing what she did best,

“Two minutes,” Amethyst’s voice buzzed in the earpieces. “This firewall is a bit more tricky than I expected.”

“Hurry,” Jasper’s gruff reply came, barely audible over the wind, “It’s getting cold.”

Peridot adjusted her trench coat nervously. When she last asked Amethyst about it, Lapis  _ still  _ hadn’t moved. Her trigger finger was itching.

Pearl laid a hand on her shoulder. “It will be alright.”

“You can’t possibly know that.”

“You’re right. I can’t.” Pearl sighed. “Peridot,”

Peridot looked up at the agent in genuine shock. She couldn’t remember the last time Pearl had called her anything other than Foster.

“I would like to apologize… For everything. I’ve treated you unfairly.”

“We both have,” Peridot smiled softly. “Let’s get this over with and we can have one more go at insulting each other before attempting to be friends again.”

“I’m in,” Amethyst’s voice intruded again. “Elevator should take you to the right floor.”

Pearl pressed the button to call said elevator. “Are you ready?”

“No.” Peridot took a nervous, shaky breath. “There’s a reason I sit behind a desk most of the time.”

Both women stepped on once the door opened. Pearl pressed the button for the sixty-third floor before taking her coat off.

“Just remember your goal and stay focused.” She grabbed the AR-15 that had been strapped to her back.

“Yeah.” Peridot dropped her coat as well. She tightened the straps on her bullet-proof vest. “My goal...”

“Jasper and Garnet are in position.”

“Copy Amethyst,” Pearl responded. “We’re almost there.”

Peridot drew her trusty revolver from the holster. She opened the cylinder to check, once again, that it was loaded. The elevator dinged loudly in her ears, signaling their floor had been reached. She raised her hand, a tight grip around her firearm, and took one final deep breath with her eyes closed. It was now or never. Lapis was counting on her.

The doors opened and the two agents immediately stepped out. Peridot checked the hall to the right while Pearl checked the left.

“Clear. Bravo team advancing,” Pearl spoke into the comms.

“Copy that, Bravo team. Alpha team you are green.”

“Finally,” Jasper’s voice was quickly followed by the sound of breaking glass.

Peridot followed Pearl down the halls towards the apartment they had seen Steven in; she had reluctantly agreed that the boy should be rescued before Lapis. The silence around her was deafening leaving only the sound of her blood rushing through her ears. “I don’t like this, bird mom…”

“We can’t stop now.”

“I wasn’t implying-”

A gunshot interrupted the blonde. Coming from above them, it was just a dull echo but an unmistakable sound.

“Amazon I told you to be quiet!” Peridot screeched into the comms.

“That was me,” Garnet’s cool voice replied. “I suggest you both hurry.”

Pearl and Peridot ran to their destination, both emitting some choice words as they did. Once outside of the right door, Pearl kicked it in with surprising force.

“CIA!”

“FBI!”

Inside, Steven was being held by a woman that made Peridot’s blood boil.

“You bitch!” Peridot aimed her gun at the woman’s head.

“Oh, does the blonde brat remember?”

“You killed my parents!”

“Please remain focused.” Pearl put a gentle hand on Peridot’s shoulder. “We need as many of them alive as possible.”

“Pearl!” Steven managed to move the arm across his mouth. “They took Lapis!”

“Quiet you little brat.” Holly Blue covered his mouth again.

Peridot felt her hands start to shake. Was Lapis not here?

Pearl raised her rifle. “Go. I’ll handle this.”

Without a second thought or a glance back, Peridot bolted back down the hall. She racked her brain to recall the floor plan and where Lapis’ tracker had shown her last location. ‘ _ A quick left at the end of the hall and three doors down.’  _ When the door came into view, she froze. An emotion she rarely felt anymore and the one emotion she hated more than anything flooded her mind.

Fear.

Chastising herself for being a coward she grabbed the door handle and hoped it was unlocked; she didn’t have the strength or dexterity to kick it down. Finding the door unlocked only caused the fear to expand and threaten to take over her mind. Before that could happen Peridot forced the door open,

“FBI- Ahh!” A bullet whizzed past her ear. A warning shot that also served as a way to disorient her. She gritted her teeth against the painful ring in her ear. “FBI. Stand down.”

“Oh, I don’t think that’s an option.” A British accent spilled from the darkness inside.

“Well, at least make this a fair fight.” Peridot dared to take a few steps inside of the threshold. “I would much rather prefer to see your face when I shoot you.”

“I believe that’s an empty threat agent.” Aquamarine turned the lights on. “But why not.”

Peridot whipped around to face the owner of the voice. “You’re the one who took her.”

“And you’re the one she talked about constantly in her sleep.”

Peridot aimed her revolver. “Where is she,” she demanded in a more than threatening tone.

“My lips are sealed,” Aquamarine smirked as she pulled the trigger to her pistol.

Peridot left all of the air leave her lungs in one painful motion. The vest she was wearing had done its job, but there was no it had prevented a few ribs from breaking from the force. She gritted her teeth to fight the urge to scream.

“Bravo team we need an update-” Peridot pulled her earpiece out. She threw it at Aquamarine, quickly following right behind it as it caught her target off guard, and tackled the Brit.

Aquamarine’s breath left her lungs when she landed on her back and her pistol flew from her hand. Peridot grabbed her hands and pinned them above her head.

“Where is she!?”

“Oh this is pathetic,” Aquamarine laughed as soon as her breath returned. “Love makes you weak.” She kicked Peridot’s prosthesis and took advantage of the agent’s moment of unbalance to roll out from under her.

Peridot regained her balance just as a knife was pressed against her throat. The sting was enough to let her know her skin had been cut. She glared at the woman. “Is that the best you can do? Pathetic. You had the perfect opportunity to stab me.”

“Maybe I want to watch you die slowly.” Aquamarine pressed the knife in further, grinning at the trickle of blood that ran down Peridot’s neck.

“I’ll remember to return the favor.” Peridot spat in Aquamarine’s eyes, followed quickly by a punch to the ribs. She grabbed the knife and threw it across the room. This was personal now and a knife lacked the personal touch she craved. “Where is she!?”

“You’ll never find her-”

Peridot punched Aquamarine in the jaw. “Where is she!?”

Aquamarine laughed bitterly before spitting out a mouthful of blood. “This is so sad.”

Peridot roared in anger as she threw another punch at the Brit’s face. “WHERE IS SHE!?!”

Aquamarine fell onto her back, not responding this time.

Peridot straddled the woman’s hips before aiming punch after punch at her face. Her vision blurred in her rage and she felt physically ill from all of the anger burning inside of her. “WHERE IS SHE!?! WHERE IS SHE!?!”

Hot tears poured down Peridot’s cheeks as her punches eventually slowed then stopped. She punched the hardwood floor next to Aquamarine’s head in one last fit of anger before letting out a loud and anguished cry.

She had done the one thing she swore would never happen.

She had failed Lapis.

A defeated sob escaped her lips, “Where is she…?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Being loved deeply by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage." - Lao Tzu


	20. Epilogue

**Silence**

The ringing in her ears hadn’t stopped, hadn’t relented its tight grip on her consciousness. The moments after finding Aquamarine had been nothing but a blur to the agent. She was vaguely aware that she was in the back of an ambulance and her hand was being wrapped. Everything felt fuzzy, hazy, like she was no longer present in her own body. Her consciousness was a specter barely connected to her physical form.

A distant voice called her attention, though barely audible over the practical screaming in her ears. The more she forced herself to focus on it, though, the more clear it became.

“Peridot!”

In a painful flash of noise and light, her consciousness crashed into her body. Her brain registered the physical pain she was in and caused her to let out a small cry. She lowered her head into her palm and squeezed tightly.

“Dot. You need to keep breathing.”

She couldn’t. Her mind refused to let her body breathe. Taking in a breath was nearly impossible.

“Dot, look at me.” A familiar hand lifted her head. “Can you focus on me?”

Yellow-green eyes filled her vision, clearing the clouds that plagued them. She took in a sharp breath.

“J-Jasper.”

Jasper relaxed slightly. “Are you okay?”

Peridot took a moment to process the question, replaying the prior events in her mind, and analyzing every last detail in them she could. “She’s gone.”

“I know, Dot. We searched everywhere.”

“She’s gone…” Peridot looked at her left hand when the paramedic released it. It throbbed painfully.

“You broke it,” Jasper offered.

“Oh.”

“And your neck has a few stitches.”

“Okay.”

“You’re starting to scare me, Dot…”

Peridot closed her eyes. She had felt this before. She knew how to make her heart go numb. It was almost sad how easy it had become to her. Ignore the pain in the moment then drown it later in alcohol. She could do this.

“Sorry,” Peridot licked her lips before opening her eyes again. “Is Steven alright?”

“Yeah. He’s with Garnet. Holly Blue got away though.”

Peridot nodded, taking a moment to file the information away. “Blue Diamond?”

“She wasn’t there. There were a few armed guards waiting for us though. Her office and computer had been wiped clean.”

“She must have known,” Peridot nodded again. “The bad haircut?”

“She’s in custody. You really did a number to her… That’s not like you…”

Peridot dismissed the comment with another question, “Are you, Rogers, and Rodriguez alright?”

“Pearl was shot, just a graze though. I’m fine, just worried about you. Are you sure you’ll be alright?”

Peridot looked down at her bandaged hand again. “I will be.”

She could do this again.

She could drown her pain in alcohol and escape into the sweet surrender of silence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BEFORE YOU KILL ME I HAVE A SEQUEL PLANNED!
> 
> Now that that's out of the way.
> 
> Wow. Thanks.
> 
> Seriously.
> 
> This started because I was bored one day and I honestly never planned on publishing it. It was just something I did when stressed, it was cathartic. My sister is actually the one who told me to take a chance and put it on here. And wow. I never thought it would turn into something like this.
> 
> Thank you. Thank you all from the bottom of deep, dark heart. Your comments and kudos have really made this all worth it. You are all so precious to me and I'm so happy you all enjoyed(?) reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it.
> 
> I'd like to thank Toxic_Dart. While they couldn't see this through to the end, they motivated me to write this more than anything. I'll forever appreciate their editing and ideas that greatly enhanced this story.
> 
> It's still so surreal to me what this has become. I've met some amazing people because of it and made some amazing friends.
> 
> Thank you all.
> 
> With love and humility,  
> Draconly
> 
> This is the Spotify playlist I made for this story. Depending on how good you are at reading subtext, it might be a bit spoilery. Listen at your own risk:  
> https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5MkO2zP8uHbpI0aSIeLAb6?si=MCneWPQUQTutAE_d4Hdhig  
> Some specific songs I'd like to point out:  
> Compass by Zella Day - this is my overall song for this fic  
> Bottom of the Deep Blue Sea by Missio - this is what I consider Peridot's song  
> Lovely by Billie Eilish - this is what I consider Lapis' song
> 
> I ask for patience for the sequel. I have a few other projects I'm going to work on. I still need to polish my outline for it as well. But I can promise you this: I will not leave this story here. The sequel will come, for both yours and my sanity.


End file.
